I walked outside,
Only to realize I was lost.
I was in the middle forest,
Surround by a green silence.
Despite the nature,
The moment felt blue
With an underlying yellow
That made me smile.
This moment was timeless.
It was like a bubble,
That floated through the universe,
Simple and peaceful,
And never changing.

Irony is a funny thing,
A poet who is at a loss for words.
Everyone always told me that if there was a problem, talk to them.
But how can you trust them with something so serious?
How do you even start a conversation like that?
"Hi mom and dad, I have anxiety attacks and cut myself and its just getting worse."  
Yea no,
That's not how it works.
Maybe you just pull up your sleeve and show them the scars.
Nope
Mabye I try to show them that the person in the mirror isn't me.
How the hell do you do that?
You don't.
So I tried writing it down,
Then I tried to read it allowed,
But I lost the words again.
So I put it in a letter and sent that
It was the hardest letter I've ever written and will be for the rest of my life.
There may have been no words from my mouth, but that's when I found the words from my heart.

I once had a guitar,
Where the frets would scratch my hand,
As I played.

The scratches reminded me,
Of my scratchy chords in the beginning.

But I kept playing,
Because I wanted to play my music,
And it kept scratching.

After awhile,
My hand built up a resistance,
And my music was heard.

The radio plays the local station,
They never stop moving.
Like ants in a colony,
Everyone has their job.
The queen barking out orders,
And the workers building it.
So focused on the next task,
They forget to celebrate
Each new thing they build.

All around me, I see it.
My friends are told something is wrong with them,
Then that a pill will fix them.

I see them sad,
Angry and tired,
Suffering , but it's just the side effects.

Soon I'll probably join them,
Suffering the side effects,
But it's okay cause "it will fix me".

We live in a society,
Where medication is treated like candy,
The sugar helps for a bit,
But then you crash.

So tell me doctor,
What's wrong with me?
Cause it's a pharmaceutical Halloween.

The fear of judgement,
Hiding the scars,
No one can keep it up forever,
You slip up once.

But it's okay,
They accept your faults,
And begin to help you.
They care, they smile.

You start to trust,
You feel safe.
The fog lifts,
And you feel the sun on your skin again.