i have to write to get this poison out of my body otherwise i'll lay on my floor half naked with a gun in my hand pulling the trigger on an empty chamber thinking how bad would it really hurt to die
drinking in the shower causes conflicting emotions hot and cold mix but don't form lukewarm instead they swirl and dance mingle and twist with heat in my head and frost in my throat i take another sip and wince then grin as opposite sensations pull me apart in the most pleasant way
it's dark here colder than i thought possible where are the angelic voices the fires of hell is there truly nothing? apathy true torment knowing that in the end there's not even anything left to care we die together, but awake alone and alone we shall be for eternity not a single night but...
with flagging strength and weary conscience I struggle against these demons in this heavy heart trying to keep this darkness at bay till a dawn I'm not sure is coming
it's an odd situation when you know that the only reason you are not who you want to be, you are not really living because you are the only one holding you back
why can't i write a story why can't i find a girlfriend why can't i stop drinking why can't i motivate myself why can't i stay in shape why can't i matter
these thoughts run in circles around my head laughing mocking taunting and yet i know the answer me myself and i
i'm so afraid of failure that i'll do nothing and fail so i don't even have to try