i want to scream till i puke and cry myself empty
because my mind is a dark place and the thoughts
that haunt me are half formed and sadistic
they wrap my mind so tight in these chains
that i feel like the breath is crushed right out of me
and my ribcage is cracking my shoulders are breaking
and my eyes have been replaced with
cold black stone.. i thought i was made of flesh and blood
but apparently i'm just carved out of metal and bone

let's see if i can get to the point
where i feel no more without passing out
so i can think of you again
and all those nights we had
without wanting to take
this blade to my chest and
cut out my still feeling heart
cause it causes me nothing but
anguish and leaves me feeling empty
at 3:30 in the morning
i feel your arms around me
as your ghost whispers in my ear
and tells me how you once
used to love

it's hard to sleep
when i close my eyes
and see you fit to him
the way you fit to me
kissing lips that
tasted once like mine
i hope you choke on
the thought of what
you did and how you did it
and i wished upon
every star i could see
the worst luck in the world
that every car crash
and broken heart
falls in your lap
i've seen more honesty
in... oh never mind
its not like you'll read
my rant where my heart
is open and on my wrist
pulsing red and turning
to black with the sky
an awful wretched grey
im collapsing and can
only sigh to the wind
because i'll smile to your face
and hold you in my arms
even though you still
smell of him darling

as i do another line
i can't help but picture
all the nights that i spent
up with my eyes wide shut
and i know that you're in his arms
tonight and you couldn't even
lie to me about the truth
tonight i'm going to dance with you
girlie girl you got to watch
what you do cause how many
cigarettes i smoke will never
make me forget your eyes
i spent tonight with molly
while this warmth on my skin
never goes more deep
than the smile on my lips
that never quite reaches
the stars that i told you were
always in our reach
and i'm grasping at straws
while you never spend
the night alone and here i sit
with nothing but my thoughts
and a band playing a catchy tune
i love you dear
and this is my 100th time writing this song
while my heart falls to pieces
in the most tragic of ways
you're all elegance and klonopin
and i'm just a wreck that will
always come back for another
round of pain
you're my high darling
as much as i want to quit
you slip into my veins
and leave with my flesh
and my fingers in my brain
scratch out my memories

my mood(ring)'s
                               been
             black
the     past       couple
   ****      days

girlie you've a lot
to learn in these coming days
let me hold your hand