Alina

Alina Oct 2018

Untitled

with a mere stretch of my fingers ive come to feel the loose threads dangling against our badly-tattered relationship. i was tempted to pull them out completely but i remembered, gosh. it was the only thing that tethered you safely enough to not fall from the bridges youve burnt.
so i'd let it be,; let it break away on its own.

Alina Oct 2018

Untitled

i grew to love the sound of your footsteps coming towards me
but now
i'd rather hear them fade away.

Alina May 2016

Burning Rose

i laid my eyes in the light
my irises burned as bright
shadows dance and swayed
the air still as it played

then slowly it turned to red
as tears in my eyes bled
down, it all started to blur
but the fire never seemed fainter

i'm a rose burning in the candle light
petals glowing so bright
scarlet as the flame devouring me
turning into browned ashes slowly...

i wrote this on the night we were in front of the altar, praying, and all i felt was guilt coz i just did something terrible to my parents but they never found it out...

Alina May 2015

Puberty

I'm tossing and turning
In this ocean of hormones
Washing away the remnants of my childhood
Washing off my innocence;
Hitting me in the treacherous waves
And in the rocks and pebbles there
Drowning me in the depths of humanity
And soaking me in fresh knowledge everytime.

Sometimes I enjoy the ride ,
Other times I feel afraid
Oftentimes, I wonder
If this would ever end.
I don't even know why I'm going through this
I don't know if it'll help me with something
Perhaps later in life
I'd understand why this is all happening.

I'm a frustrated fiffteen-year old girl with so much in her head, and so little in her soul.

Alina May 2015

Untitled

I think I'm strong enough
For getting on one more day
Without you.

No morning text messages
No silly conversations in the afternoon
No senseless quarrels in the evening
No sweet 'i love you's' in the midnight.

I think I'm hard enough
For surviving in three months
Without you.

No picture perfect memories in my mind
No feelings to feel
Just no life to live...

I think I'm strong enough
For living another life
Without you or your promises or your shadows
Just the heartache inside...

I think I've gotten over you. But ****, I still love you.

Alina May 2015

Is This Still Love?

Head over heels
I'm dazed
To see your face
Once again.

An orchestra
Of loud heartbeats
Played the tune
Once again.

I felt uneasy
And terrified
I felt as if I want to
Come closer to you
Once again.

But I know I can't.
What we had has
Come and gone.
We're no longer
The couple we once were
Very much in love
Passionate and yearning.

But what can I do?
I still love you.
Or is this just the remains
Of what once was solid
And pure feelings?

I don't know.
Please teach me how to let go.
Please make me unlove you.

...