Bellis Tart: Poems

Oct 2010 · 247

uninvited

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

your propositional jokes,
that sly, pompous grin,
your 'just right' five oclock shadow
your oh so touchable skin!
my 'perfectly gorgeous' face
and 'just low enough' cut top
you know it's wrong to ask,
cause you know I wouldn't stop
the dimly lit lights,
the cold winter night,
the way your hand touches my skin,
how everything instantly seems right
the time spent missing your touch,
the lonely, thought filled sleep,
the morning, so awkward, like always,
the secret i'd now have to keep
and still i know that im in too deep
silly, how i want you for keeps

(c) 27/01/10- From Feeling the Painting

Oct 2010 · 412

so what

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

so what

so nauseated, how I feel all the time,
so weak, how I know I'll crack,
so alone, how I am with out you,
so me, why I don't have you,

so pretty, but never the right kind of pretty,
so funny, you seem to laugh at every word I say,
so adoring, though you hardly deserve it,
so in love, with the wrong man.

so willing, to do anything for you,
so hard, to keep on trying,
so soft, my pale untouched skin,
so far away, your touch seems.

so used, it's obvious,
so hurt, the worst kind of pain,
so little time, if any left together,
so me, and I still don't have you.

(c) 22/02/10

Oct 2010 · 670

sing me a song, dont run away

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

sing me a song, dont run away

It's been forever since Ive seen your face,
lived that life from before,
and now I cant take it, not knowing you
so Im knocking on your door

Dont turn me away, baby
Dont lock the door and throw away the key,
Dont leave me again, baby,
You're the only one I wanna see.

Days and months, turn into years,
and I struggle and fight through,
but I can only go so long darlin
before I have to go looking for you

Dont turn me away, baby
dont lock the door and throw away the key,
Dont leave me again, baby
You're the only one I wanna see.

(c) 03/04/10

Oct 2010 · 234

Daddy

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

Daddy

you were supposed to tie my shoes,
then teach me to do the same.
you should have been the one I told,
all my dreams of fortune and fame.
you were the person I should have been able to trust,
with my dearest, most precious part,
yet you were never there for me,
you dropped and trampled my heart.

you were the one who's supposed to tell me,
that no man will ever be good enough.
you were the one who was supposed to protect me,
and help me through all this hard stuff.
you are the one who should have kept me,
to one day give me away.
you are the one who has now taught me,
no man shall ever stay.

though I wish you'd been around more,
I now see it's just not you're thing.
acting the role of father has always,
been second to your role as king.
your life has always been number one,
though I wish you'd been here for me,
you were supposed to be my father,
'cause Daddy that's how it's supposed to be.

(c) 24/06/09- From Feeling the Painting

Oct 2010 · 229

a nightmare come true

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

a nightmare come true

I still remember the morning I lost you

And I lost a part of me too

The sun seemed overly bright that day

Then the words came,

he’s gone....away

Far, away

And then all the people showed up

With trays and bags, and boxes of food

To stuff your face, and fill your mouth

To keep your questions off the table,

away from conversation

like how great he was,

How he’d always be missed,

How much he was loved.

They say their sorry and then going on their way

Cause for them tomorrow this is just yesterday

So they hide their guilty eyes, with bowed heads and tears

While i sit here, sinking, drowning, living my worst fears!

(c) 09/10/09
BC you are missed more than you could know!!- From Feeling the Painting

Oct 2010 · 373

.5

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

.5

I'm so tired of being lonely,
  having nothing to fill my thoughts but you

I'm so sick of feeling that pain,
  that rips the inside of me apart

I'm so longing for that smell,
  of your hair on the pillow by my face.

I'm still wanting for those lips,
  to kiss my neck, right below my ear.

I'm still waiting for those eyes,
  to really see me fully.

I'm so lost without that heart,
  that keeps my own heart beating.

I'm so scared for this life,
  for it's nothing, without you

(c) 09/12/09

Oct 2010 · 1.1k

Narcotic

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

Narcotic

you surge your poison in me,
and soon it takes all of me,
though i know it hurts
i really dont mind.

then withdrawn, you're gone,
and that poisonous grip loosens hold,
the wounds start to heal,
my eyes start to clear.

with quick, sudden movements,
it's back, that tightening grip,
i see you and we both know,
just how its going to end up.

a painful, quiet struggle,
to choose heart or mind,
to stop the addiction to you, my narcotic
or to pretend that everything's fine.

but I can't let the wounds ever fully heal,
or ever again see clear and just,
you see my addiction has always been more,
it's always been love, never lust

(c) 10/02/09

— The End —