Uptown.
Because you can't ever feel down
Up
     Town.

Lights swirling around
and exotic colors become all
      at once
           neon bright.
Searing your eyes enough to give everything
that dim cloud whirling around it
      like an oversized trench coat.

But this is all overseen
    and somewhat out of place
by the people in
     fur coats.
And ladies who hold silken scarves
over their oddly high placed noses
as they pass my friend's cigarette smoke
     just before they enter the "hip" Latin restaurant
          to prove they're cultured.

And even though I laugh,
     and give my friend a knowing smile,
I hear them over the crowd
     incorrectly pronounce
           the phrase "dos cervezas",
and can't stop the cringe that appears on my face.

My friend walks away as if nothing is wrong,
      truth be told, there shouldn't be.
We both know how this works.
Who gets upset about a heritage they don't advertise?

We have all
        but bleached our skin
(because anything that isn't white is in)
We want out.

Because exotic
       animals
              are often admired
(as they are worn around the shoulders).

Hidden coves of love disguised by cold eyes
Chances not yet given.
Angry tones escape tooth filled holes
Drilling dissent through another's soul.
Selfish is the only answer,
yet not an excuse.
Forgive the fool.
He is you
She is I
We are one.
Negative polarities combusting innocent eyes.
Lost in the essence of the moment.
This is an apology for the mournful cries.
forgive the fool
he is you
she is I
we are one.
distinct beings intertwined amongst the influx
passengers and neighbors, reactive tension
impulses of separation.
pause for a moment. breath together.
similar beings galvanized by difference
nutrition for acceptance.
forgive the fool
he is you
she is I
we are one.

*****,
So unclean,
Definitely not pure.
Why has so much changed?
This isn't me.
I need to get back to where I was.
You could help me get there.
Please be a good influence.
Please take me to church.
I need you and I need God.
Help me feel good about myself again.
I don't want to compromise anymore.
From now on,
I am in this for me.

Have you ever heard the silence of a tear
On an ocean’s restless wave
Or seen a soul steadily face his fears
To walk on roads unpaved

Did you ever feel the haze of someone’s pain
Inside your own heart too
Walked their path of dark and rain
Held it all inside of you

Could you ever dream another’s dream
Until that dream came true
Closed your eyes until it seemed
That dream belonged to you

If you can see, feel and know this fear
Hold inside all this and more
Then you can dream a silent tear
To rest on the ocean floor

I awake shaking-
Searching
for stolen breath.

Saturated in a sickening veil of unwanted memory.
Your flesh eating eyes
burn through my lucid skin,
Melting down my fragile youth.

YOUR MOUTH!

Your serpent-filled, blood draining tongue
that like daggers,
have penetrated,
and sliced my innocent soul,
continues to wrap around my weakened limbs,
erasing my goodness, and burying,
my desperate, homeless love.

***** lays dormant within me.
Erupting gallantly,
With just the itch of you upon my tiny hand.

So many times i have tried to slip out of my skin,
to creep away into the night,
release you from my shackles.

So many stormy nights,
i slink inside my blood, and cut my flesh
to rid you of my veins.

Too many times, i have carved out my face
in hopes to go unrecognized by your wicked voice.

But you find me.
you seep back into my flesh and you leave me empty,
you leave me dissected,
you leave me alone

you are inside of me,
but you leave me
Alone.