Bellis Tart

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

you say you'll never want me like that,
be sure to use your harshest tone!
ask myself just why I keep crawling back
when I know you can't get blood from a stone.

For someone who never takes me seriously,
you could learn to take a joke!
maybe if you'd just laugh for once, and not at me,
it might fix that heart of yours that's broke.

So, here I am, you blind, foolish, twit!
the one you CANT love, in front of you
wearing only my heart on my sleeve,
and I don't give a **** if you see it!

(c) 05/10/10

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

just an outsider

so far from understanding,
the whole concept too far out
I've always felt so out of place here,
never quite grasped the reason why
there must be more than just this,
for if there's not, then what's the point?
it seems a futile attempt at avoiding the inevitable
a wasted effort at all costs.
Perhaps that is why I never flowed well here
found the local humans to be quite strange,
I suppose most folk don't get the point either,
and maybe I get it more than I think

(c) 05/10/10

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

the present

I've become someone I no longer recognize,
whose actions couldn't possibly be mine.
I've said things I'd never thought I'd say,
to people I was too scared to tell.
I've allowed the mistreatment of a kind heart,
while trying to rationalize it to myself.
I've heard things that were never spoken,
and allowed it to push me farther.
I've crossed lines I would have never thought to,
blindfolded to avoid my principles.
I've had pain and sorrow and heartache,
for no reason at all.

(c) 26/05/09- From Feeling the Painting

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

chez moi

this is where I dwell now,
still doesn't feel right.
not like I can just turn around and go back.
different tools used to numb my head,
quiet the chatter in my brain,
going back there I know, it wouldn't be the same.
so a smile covers and polishes the lies,
pretend like everything is just oh so fine,
there's no choice to be made, no path less taken to choose,
this is where I dwell now.

(c) 30/05/09

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

A fine Line

You're everything I want,
and still you drive me insane.
You're gentle and you're kind,
yet cause me so much pain.
You glide with grace,
-of only a fine man,
Then snap and snarl,
-like only a beast can.
Your hold embraces, and comforts all of me,
that forever I shall be blindfolded, never to see,
You're the questions and answers I cannot escape,
You're the fine line,
between love and hate.

(c) 09/04/09- From Feeling the Painting

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

uninvited

your propositional jokes,
that sly, pompous grin,
your 'just right' five oclock shadow
your oh so touchable skin!
my 'perfectly gorgeous' face
and 'just low enough' cut top
you know it's wrong to ask,
cause you know I wouldn't stop
the dimly lit lights,
the cold winter night,
the way your hand touches my skin,
how everything instantly seems right
the time spent missing your touch,
the lonely, thought filled sleep,
the morning, so awkward, like always,
the secret i'd now have to keep
and still i know that im in too deep
silly, how i want you for keeps

(c) 27/01/10- From Feeling the Painting

Bellis Tart Oct 2010

so what

so nauseated, how I feel all the time,
so weak, how I know I'll crack,
so alone, how I am with out you,
so me, why I don't have you,

so pretty, but never the right kind of pretty,
so funny, you seem to laugh at every word I say,
so adoring, though you hardly deserve it,
so in love, with the wrong man.

so willing, to do anything for you,
so hard, to keep on trying,
so soft, my pale untouched skin,
so far away, your touch seems.

so used, it's obvious,
so hurt, the worst kind of pain,
so little time, if any left together,
so me, and I still don't have you.

(c) 22/02/10