My mother should be an author
She carves her soul into millions of pieces
Leaving it behind all of the family photos
When I see my mother
I see a woman
Who wants to hide her soul in a needle
Just so the screaming can stop in her mind,
These bottles are rattling in the living room
You see they have put shackles on her heart,
She can't love anymore
Without having ***** in her water bottle.

Where is she hiding her beer?
I feel like my mother is giving me a scavenger hunt
From the shards of glass that were left on the baseball fields
My mother used to take me to.

You know she always wasn't like this
She was strong minded and had a big heart
Tonight I will tell you the story of a woman
Who lost her soul to the Keystones to the Miller Lites
To the ****** Mary’s.
Let's rewind time
See ******* the soul in ten years

10- I look into my mother's eyes and I start to cry
Because I'm looking at a woman who I don't know anymore

9- I refused to bail her out of jail again
Because I'm afraid her kidney will fail if she drinks again

8- My mother staggered into the theater and disrupted the whole play,
My cast mates turned to me and asked, isn't that your mother?

7- I had to hold my mothers hand
Because she was throwing up the cocktail of drugs and alcohol

6- Daddy had to get mom out of jail she was drinking again

5- My mother throws the bottle across the room
And told me the reason why she drinks is because I'm Autistic

4- My mother overslept for my piano recital,
I didn't think it was a big deal
But I remember she spent the whole night crying
With a wine glass in her hand.

3- Mommy I didn't know your prescription came in a needle

2- Mommy the prescription say 2 pills a day
why are you taking 6?

1- My mother went to the doctor
Found out that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis
I don't know what that means,
But I know she will still be strong right?

0- She took me to a Dodger game for my birthday.
I remember Sammy Sosa hitting a home run that game
She told me that the only person that can **** your soul is yourself

Darling pain subsides
And all the scars and all the wounds
They heal through the night
To what lengths the hurt may go
Depends on how you fight
Put brave in what you have
Put faith in what you might
A pleasant disposition lets you
But don't you hear a cry
Through all the pines and all the shies
Darling love subsides

You said that you've been watching me for years.
You said that I keep you steady here, on the ground.
I'm not a girl for you to pursue, you said,
just a girl to look at when things get crazy.
Just a girl who has got your balloon head
tied to her wrist.
We're barely past strangers
and I don't know how your hands have pried open my skull and bones
so you can inspect.
You never asked permission.

You said your resolution for this year is
to stop thinking about me.

Desire and
All the sweet pulsing aches
And gentle hurtings
That were you,
Are gone into the sullen dark.
Now in the night you come unsmiling
To lie with me
A dull, cold, rigid bayonet
On my hot-swollen, throbbing soul.

The chill of the cafe
wraps around my arms
a shawl to keep the warm at bay
my reflection in the window
Glances up at me once again
she's pretty, this window girl
with legs that are slim
hair that shines a pretty blonde
there's a hole in her chest though
where the light doesn't bounce
an emptiness in her torso
where the landscape goes in
and the girl fades out
this blend, this meshing of
flawed human and
perfect nature
it blurs the imperfections
the spots on her skin
the lackluster lips
all disappear in the
glow of the cafe window
she's perfect, this mirror girl
with streetlamps and
tree trunks in her chest
filling the spaces where
the lonely would go
where heartache would stay
where sadness would dwell