Sitting here, waiting for a text that i know will never come
Because unlike me you really are done
You lost your husband and best friend but you let go,long ago
And here i sit, still dealing with this emotional blow
I also lost my best friend and wife but more recently
I don’t know how you do it, going all day without talking me
You say its hard for you also, us not talking
But you’re moving on with your life, you’re also better at acting

I knew that id lost you even when you said i hadn’t
You’d reassure me you were still there and bring me back to this planet
Id tell you i was scared i had done too much damage
You’d reassure me it wasn’t something we could not manage
The more that we talked, the more apparent it became
I tried to get a kiss it seemed forced how lame
Ive told you before, you’re NOT the bad guy
If you were i couldn’t even look you in the eyes
But even now all i want to do is stare at them
Even though it seems something is missing like a flower with no stem

The kids would be yelling and being bad
You’d be the calm one and i would be mad
The next time it happened
Id be the calm one, you’d be the one that unfastened
The yin to my yang never mad at the same time
Our official (unofficial) song is still Badfish by Sublime
Even our fights lasted all of 10 minutes
Fight, not talk, apologize, and go smoke a cigarette
Alot of them we were arguing the same point
Just worded differently so how did we get to this point?
Well maybe because when you wanted to talk about feelings i would shut down
I would get mad about it start a fight and you’d end up with a frown
Now that all i want to do is talk about us
You’ve become me and its all in reverse
You don’t want to talk about us anymore at all
Now it is you thats put up that wall
I just want to break it down and tear it away
Go back to the good times, we were happy, so gay
But i know now that i helped you build it
I laid down the foundation, you just stacked the bricks

Like an unfinished anniversary painting that was meant for me
Thats how i feel left without you in misery
The kids are with me so that keeps me sane
But what do i say when one of them says, i want you and mommy to be married again
Do i tell her the truth? And say its all my fault
That i kept lying to you and at the end we just fought
That i couldn’t man up and talk to you about feelings
That i thought wed get through it but really it just kept building
That when i asked you about your mom and you said you were ok
That i made myself believe it and thought it’d go away
That i cheated on you when you loved me the most
And when this happened it made YOU feel gross
That when she was just 2 i smacked her too rough
That the cops came and took me away in handcuffs
That drugs tore your family apart
And when you asked ME to stop, i said no and you lost your sweetheart
The only thing i can tell her is that its not her fault
And that its not for her to worry about to not be distraught