Beck B

Beck B Aug 2015

will the day happen
or will it quietly pass by
a spider
to most
disguised below darkness
to the corner it hides
yet when it gets seen
catastrophes
monstrosities
caught in the light
and no longer hid
from all of their minds
who so long ago
decided
spiders
were creatures to fear
like the day
that now crawls
not in darkness
but in fearful trembling
light

-beckb 081815

Beck B Aug 2015

Star Watcher

its like watching a star
never falling
but stuck in one place
eventually the watcher
moves on
to the next star
a star that
actually falls

-beckb 081615

Beck B Aug 2015

missing in pictures.

fear.
i guess its just the realization.
its not truly a fear.
but more of a sadness.
a melancholy feeling.
knowing.
that they wont be there.
as you walk down the aisle.
across the stage.
the day youve been working for your entire life.
and now.
the examples of working hard.
they wont be there.
to see the work.
the dedication.
the blood.
the sweat.
the tears.
that went into getting there.
the dream.
it wont happen.
youll graduate.
without them seeing.
youll graduate.
and theyll know.
but theyll be missing in pictures.

-beckb 081615

Beck B Aug 2015

23:55

It started with a dance it.
Was nothing like had ever happened.
He was in the corner in a way.
That only she could see way.
Too far to see how he too.
Felt the way she did it was fast.
Enough to catch them both.
Off guard when their feelings.
Matched the two of them were.
On a wavelength that no.
One else could be on different.
People could walk between yet.
They still saw eye to eye they.
Were scared to say it at first.
But grew to tell each thought.
They had to the other that.
Made the leaving harder losing.
Each other after falling the.
Way they did was inevitable other.
People saw the fall but it was.
Like falling down a hill and saying.
As you wish but not ever will.
The one listening know it meant I.
Love you so you fall without ever.
Knowing if they can see.
The feelings inside you.
It's like her falling asleep again.
After not sleeping for weeks.
Closing her eyes but she can't go.
To sleep 'cause memories run past.
In her mind without.
Her knowing how to cope seeing.
Pictures in dreams of each.
Time she saw how other.
Peoples eyes looked they.
Weren't his and she knew.
That she was too far that.
She would never recover from.
The way she felt that.
Was a fall she could fall every day.
Try to stand but just would.
Fall over and over and over be.
Happy he says she'll have the.
Heart of a man who will ever.
And always make her smile after.
She cries she says she.
Feels she lives in dreams.
She could only dream for.
At.
23:55.

-beckb 081515

Beck B Aug 2015

10:17

I get lost in thoughts of you...I wish I had answered the phone last night, the echoes of your voice ring in my ears but it isn't the same as you next to me, you sitting so near me with your arm around me and my hand in yours, I can't wait until you can hold my hand as we ride down the hill, to run up when I fall, laughing, but making sure I'm alright, hearing your voice and your laugh, it is like a healing power, a power I know I will not ever find again, it's something I know is incomparable with anything else, you're someone so new, so real, with me knowing, hoping, that this is how it's meant to be, me knowing that, somehow, I fell so hard for you, I will never be the same, knowing, wishing, hoping, thinking, daydreaming

-beckb 081315

Beck B Aug 2015

Changing Colors

That moment you look down and your hand is changing colors. Your mind is lost, and you've lost feeling. The music is consuming you. Drowning you. As if even just existing is now musics priority, and it has taken you over.. Yeah that's when you know you've lost it. The shadows are in the corner but that's where you want to hide. Not possible. So let's **** something. Time, only. Only time. Threats of death, but it's too frightening honestly. Killing time, it changes things. You forget how to change things yourself. When the music takes over, you give it complete control and it makes things you didn't think possible. Creates darkness, but it's comforting. It puts those lost feelings to paper and then you get rid of them. Rid of the things the music creates. It's a vicious cycle, really. You find peace, almost, a seemingly unobtainable peace at first, really, and then you destroy it. It's too peaceful. In peace, there is anxiety. Knowing something is right around the corner. It's always there. It never really goes away. Sits there, watching, waiting for you to get comfortable. You catch yourself thinking you'll be okay this time, you let yourself relax. And then it comes. Once again you forget how to escape the grasp of the darkness. You look down and your hand is changing colors. The music is starting. You're drowning.
-beckb 022615

— The End —