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May 1 · 109
looking up
Beaux May 1
there are those
among us
who would
gladly beg
for you
Feb 22 · 51
la petite mort
Beaux Feb 22
I wish upon you one thousand deaths...
but only small ones.
Feb 14 · 64
V Day
Beaux Feb 14
I bought you flowers today just to throw them away.
Feb 13 · 54
The Thankless
Beaux Feb 13
I never had a goal or dream
Just a feeling I chase
A feeling that gets looked over so often
Yet it's used in everyday conversation
It's such an easy way to be good
To be good, laughable
That feeling, those words
They'll never make you good
"Thank You"
So polite
"Thank You. Come again."
Required
"Don't forget to say Thank You"
Forgettable

I am no longer thankful
I have become the thankless
Begging for gratitude in my own eyes
Feb 13 · 55
I Could Easily
Beaux Feb 13
"I'm keeping it together so my parents won't have to sit in a funeral asking what they did wrong..."

There would be a thought for me
There would be tears
But my death would become the centerpiece of a narcissistic feast
To be put on display for parties and newcomers
A cornucopia of despair
Drinking up the tears as a vampire fiend
Another story to be embellished
Another unique notch in a leather belt that's fallen apart
Our family is a legacy of stories
How could I not become one?
I am safe and I am calm.
Jan 11 · 128
Ageless
Beaux Jan 11
My stomach felt like a pit today then I remembered..

It's your birthday.

But you'll always be 24.
It would be my friend, Hannah's 33rd birthday today. I almost forgot...
Dec 2023 · 308
Merry Christmas
Beaux Dec 2023
Thanks for being here.
Nov 2020 · 175
Garbage Garden
Beaux Nov 2020
I am desperately uninspired and gloomy.

And within that, here we are with inspiration and joy.
Feb 2020 · 154
Day 11
Beaux Feb 2020
My mind blocked out
no no no
I blocked out
no yes no

I didn't do the thing I said I'd do again
And it hurt me
again

no
no
no

I hurt me again
A poem a day did not go as planned and I have no one to blame but myself.
Start over.
Feb 2020 · 144
WOTD
Beaux Feb 2020
Fictile

Ironic be it the day
I've decided to write a poem a day for February to help find motivation again. It will not all be good, but it will be something.
Jul 2019 · 210
She Writes Me Love Letters
Beaux Jul 2019
"I've never felt my tongue caress a name with such pure sincerity and happiness every time it's spoken, my lips break into a grin at the thought of your lovely face smiling back at mine knowing how adoringly I speak of you every time.♥️"
This will be a series of notes the woman I am currently seeing leaves me.
Jul 2019 · 160
12 Days
Beaux Jul 2019
Silence has never felt so comfortable as it is now
The comfort of self is so fulfilling
Before a thought so unbearable
Alone, desperately so

Yet within that self, kindness
Kindness to the self develops like an old photo in a red room
It's so picturesque
A photo now framed within my home
A photo that I share as I invite someone new to experience these walls
It's my photo
It's my frame
But the joy I see when I share it with you
Makes the photo I love into art that inspires
Jun 2019 · 266
Leap Year Relationship
Beaux Jun 2019
Do you ever realize that you're sitting on a 1970s vintage couch
Eating a cinnamon roll covered in cream cheese
Watching half of your life being packed away
Packed away into brown boxes
Half a life reduced to medium sized brown boxes
While you feel the sugar slowly rotting your teeth

...or is it just me?
May 2019 · 629
Alone
Beaux May 2019
I have to stop stealing pieces of others to make myself whole
May 2019 · 185
Cornered
Beaux May 2019
The funny thing about corners is that you need two straight lines to make them.
Two lines with direction, both leading on a well laid path.
Following the line and law of the wall.
It takes two to corner.
And one to lash out.
May 2019 · 160
It's Nature
Beaux May 2019
At what point does the tide move the rock.
It is inevitable.
Though the rock be tough and strong.
Water will pass through it after the years.
Which is how the Earth created harmony
Jan 2019 · 354
Flames of Olympus
Beaux Jan 2019
She danced amongst the Goddesses
Trembling ankles and all
Their beauty eclipsed hers by far
Wandering lightly on feathered feet
Trying to avoid thoughts of distress
Be discreet

She smiled as they took her hands
She smiled as they combed her hair
She smiled as she was draped in gold
She smiled as flowers turned to ropes
She smiled as they laid her down

Feels of ice marble along her spine
For Goddesses she would become Divine
Intoxicated by ceremonial grace
Flames drew from their very breaths
She could feel the pain of melting flesh

Holding in all of the screams
Howls of a Hellhound
A sacrifice is what she was meant to be
For her Goddesses knew what was right for the world
To ashes she fell
All left was her smile laid out like pearls
A simple sacrifice for a complex world
Nov 2018 · 231
oven burns
Beaux Nov 2018
I will never have beautiful hands to hold my lover but they will be strong
Nov 2018 · 185
The Cardinal
Beaux Nov 2018
Through broken windows she does see a crimson Cardinal taking it's last breaths
Gripping to the snow drenched branch, heavy chested
Its small body weighing more than a ton now when before light enough to fly
She matches breaths with the Cardinal as it pulls death in and pushes out life
Head bundled in its chest, pressing forward knowing it's to be its last moment
The last chance to sing
The last chance to peer at the sun
The last chance to fly
From the branch it leaps to the window sill, laying gently against the window
She presses her palm against the broken glass and with that
The last breath is taken from them
Jul 2018 · 281
Spring Flower
Beaux Jul 2018
Baby Breath blooms in the window at Spring
I hear Robins sing to loving winds
Streams gather new Dams for life
You are the last tulip to blossom
And the most beautiful in the field
Jul 2018 · 179
For Saints to Hear
Beaux Jul 2018
Times, Places, Miscommunications
Incorrect Direction
Worship all your Devils that Divide
Call upon Father Time
Fifth times a charm
Or Harm
Left on your arm
For your lover to see the next day

All the Silence you wanted
Loud enough for Saints to hear
Jul 2018 · 302
Her Creation
Beaux Jul 2018
Lay down by shores
Simple pink shells on bold clay
Hear how tides crash and mold this Earth
Feel the depth of her creation and be reborn

It is not the Gods that created such passion
But what created Gods is such passion
Jul 2018 · 197
bullet
Beaux Jul 2018
Most people
When they think about dying
They blame all the people and all the reasons and all the crimes

But for me
What made you happy

Tell me what made you happy before I go

Tell me how to play dice
Or your favorite band

Tell me something you loved before I go
Tell me something that will help you carry on without me
Jun 2018 · 185
Childhood Dreams
Beaux Jun 2018
All my idols have killed themselves

Maybe I should be like them
Jun 2018 · 215
drunk writing
Beaux Jun 2018
i am worthless
worthless to the love I've had
worthless to the love I have



**** this
Jun 2018 · 355
worth
Beaux Jun 2018
How could the thing that I've loved the most in this world
Spit in my face
Jun 2018 · 249
JNHB
Beaux Jun 2018
Milk being lapped up by the tongue of a cat
Colored so black, midnight shied away
...
Structure built so firm and strict
All it did was remind which corners not to cut
...
Gone. Gone forever now.
Simply gone because it was never mine in the first place.
...
Reoccurring dreams or nightmares
Either so much more powerful than the last
For the dreams are my haunted realities
My nightmares, a sweet slumber's embrace
The sweat of a beaten boar fighting off dogs
Grasping hands for fallen lovers near pools
Could I find no better way to describe my loves?
May 2018 · 228
And Above All Else
Beaux May 2018
Pulling tight the strings of my heart as if they'll break any day
Ripping through my spiritual walls as if they were paper mache

Calling to me in every bit of silence
I hear you speaking my name
Whispering how you want me and that no other shall take my place

Crippling ideas of who I should be and what I am through the day
Giving me strength at first glance as that smile comes across your face
Holding tight to my soul like a kid's first grip on a kite

You are my absolute, my everything, my being

And above all else
You give me love and I return it generously
Apr 2018 · 249
3 nails & a crown
Beaux Apr 2018
chemicals tell me I'm
the Second Jesus Christ
and the time has come
to crucify this body

now

take of my body
...for it is sin
drink of my blood
...for it is hellfire
Beaux Mar 2018
my dad has cancer
i don't have any poetry about that
Mar 2018 · 199
At Your Front Door
Beaux Mar 2018
I could be at your front door right now.

Pacing back and forth.
Palms too sweaty to knock.
Heart too full, it could pop.

****.
****.
****.

Knock on the ******* door.

Take her in your arms once more.
Make her cry your name once more.
Make the Earth stand still once more.
Make the Gods shy away once more.


****.
I could be at your front door right now.
Feb 2018 · 224
Scripture
Beaux Feb 2018
Never play with a Demon that prays to God.
Feb 2018 · 218
Keep You from Me
Beaux Feb 2018
How incapacitated can I get
Before the thought of You
Isn't You but just you

Lungs coughing up truths
Instead of smoke
Backspacing lines
Instead of snorting them
Tears fill my glasses
While top shelf stays top shelf

More people more souls
I'll consume all that I see
Anything to keep You from Me
Jan 2018 · 203
Wear the Thorned Crown
Beaux Jan 2018
Wickedness drawn from my mouth like poison pulled from a wound
Leave the body to rot
You've escaped your time again
Continuing to flow like wasted water down a kitchen sink
Control that which runs so freely

But why
What be the point of control for the soul made to show joy
Made to show light and laughter and love
Be it not your idea
But be it that which creates ideas

Share, share, and share again
Show humanity your truths and hold tight to your mantle

Wear the thorned crown of the Prince
Call upon the Lady of the Land
Rip open all that ever was and will be
Show the sheep how to shave their wool
Jan 2018 · 238
[Great] Gatsby
Beaux Jan 2018
I'm playing Gatsby
Wearing a hat made not for my head
Diving into empty pools of silver
Staring at a green light which isn't there

Or maybe it is?
I never really got that part of the book.


I never really got that part of me
Swinging on hallowed grounds
Smiling through broken teeth
Throwing parties for parting

**I should read it again.
Maybe I'll get it this time.
Jan 2018 · 206
Desired Haunting
Beaux Jan 2018
I am longing for ghosts which have yet to die
Whimpering in a corner for well deserved beatings
Begging for my good punishment

Haunt me, wicked one
But be sweet about it
Dec 2017 · 466
Reflections
Beaux Dec 2017
We love mirrors because the image never remains
We can walk away at any moment and not worry what we left behind
For what was left was only a reflection
How we love that reflection in the moments we hold it
Checking every inch of itself
Taking memories and laughing at this temporary photograph
Leave it there on broken sand
Reflections never stay true
Dec 2017 · 187
how dare you care
Beaux Dec 2017
whispering ghosts call from the twinkling lights
stirring emotions I never recalled
smoke lingers between *******
calling upon mother, our god
crisp air scars her face
no sight of repair nor despair
holy joy to be found
inside ruby clover heads

how dare you care
Dec 2017 · 280
700 Days of Unspoken Words
Beaux Dec 2017
Curved paths, smooth as a serpent's backs.
Which one will lead to truth?

Doves of broken wing crawl towards each end.
Making the pain look so desirable.

Did the goddess greet the jester?
Or was it all in false pursuit?

700 days of unspoken words that poured like holy water from my lips.

Drink up these words and never thirst again.
Dec 2017 · 299
What is calling me?
Beaux Dec 2017
And so the wind beats against my window
Begging for a flying friend
Haunt no more wicked flawed nature
******* my desire to jump
To leap again
So far into the beginning of what time calls end
Thunderous applause from Hell
As it all erupts like a mighty volcano
Yielding to no emotion known
Ripping every shred of humanity apart

HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION, DEAR GODS

Chemically infused wrath
Drank like a luke warm coffee in the afternoon

Smooth and corrupt like every waking moment I breathe
Let go of the bent spoon
Try and eat with your hands
To be savage is to see savage
And that is why the wind beats
Nov 2017 · 310
Contradiction
Beaux Nov 2017
Maybe if I wasn't wrong all the time I would see the right sitting to my left
If all these little things didn't haunt me
I'd just stare at the large things I refuse to see
Body swimming in an ocean of cement
Everything I do is a contradiction to the truths
Yet I claim to speak nothing but
What a ****** fool I've been
Nov 2017 · 225
Fill in the Blank
Beaux Nov 2017
Perhaps I am a template
Just a paper filled with lines
Filled with different information for different times
Whatever is convenient for you
That is what this template shall do
___________

Perhaps I was made this shape
To be whatever template you display
Or perhaps I became this way
Never one to blame mother's sway
___________

Tired of being someone's information hub
Never a chance to truly be alone
The information is changed every single day
This template no longer feels the need to stay
___________

*Become a book or a guide, we'll see
I'll have to find all the information on me
Nov 2017 · 342
B.J.
Beaux Nov 2017
How beautiful the lighthouse does shine on its hill
Being worshipped by sailors around
How strong and stable and gorgeous is she
Never turning a boat the wrong way round

Little did the sailors know that the lighthouse wasn't alone

The old man hoped and hoped for her
That her light shine bright and glow
And soon enough the light did shine
Brighter than the old man's eyes and soul  

He watched her light proudly every single night
And how she protected those smaller than her
The old man's hope grew to faith and he knew what he had to do

The lighthouse felt a gentle closing upon its always open door
The old man had faith that the lighthouse needed him no more
The faith had grown so much inside that the lighthouse finally knew

She was there to light our ways just as the old man taught her to
Nov 2017 · 220
Proud
Beaux Nov 2017
Helped the self right out of the front door

That's what happens when women read
Nov 2017 · 185
Hungry?
Beaux Nov 2017
I'm diseased
All of it eating me alive
Inside out


Finish your feast, would you?
Nov 2017 · 203
Goodbye.
Beaux Nov 2017
Did I ever say 'I love you' in the proper time and place?
Did I ever call for you in tones of passion as you claim?
Did I ever hold your hand too tightly?
Did I ever listen to your rain?

Your thunder?
Your lighting?

Did I ever sit on the porch for that last cigarette?
Nov 2017 · 539
This Thought
Beaux Nov 2017
How often is too often?
That that thought creep into view
Peeking from behind shadowed corners
Calling for company
Company it shall never receive

I see you and have always seen you
The thought is my senses
My senses are this thought

How often will you come to bother me?
How often must you hear me scream?

Leave me to my self alone
Soon enough this thought will become home
Oct 2017 · 257
Why are the Roses dying?
Beaux Oct 2017
Seems almost whimsical
How the petal falls from its flower

Dancing to its death

Drawing a path through the winds
Catching each draft like a partner in her dance
Floating so delicately
Enchanting all who look on

The petal joined by its sisters in this dance of death
Caressing that cold air

That terribly cold air

Settled on the barren Earth
Separated during all their foolish play
Never to dance together again

As the Roses died early in June
Sep 2017 · 360
6:24 AM it's not raining
Beaux Sep 2017
Droplets commit their suicides against a window
Never reaching the ground they were promised
Leaving the clouds as hope guides them
Believing they have purspose
To help all grow and restore
But the rain didn't know that it had to die
In order for us to live
Aug 2017 · 348
Jane Guinn
Beaux Aug 2017
What a wild woman she is
Hair wind blown from ocean's breeze
Smile painted by the soft hands of a lover
Body moving to the beat of life
She hears the heartbeat of our Earth and she sings,

"I am woman.
I am wild.
I am proud.
Sometimes I'm vile."


As the Earth calls back to her
She answers,*

"I am woman.
I am wild.
I am pure.
I am but a child."


What a wild woman indeed
That sings to the trees and dances in dew covered houseshoes


And remember..

*"I am woman.
I am wild.
Drink plenty of water.
And follow heart's desire."
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