I love you.
I'll say it again,
I love you.
But these words will never get to reach you.
They are hidden deep,
Imprisoned by the shadows in my heart.

I love you.
I'll say it again.
In my dreams
In the songs I sing
In the written things I create,
In the loving glimpses and smiles I give
But I can never say it to you.

I love you.
And I'm sorry.

You will never be mine.
Deep inside my heart of hearts, I know that this is true.
Yet I can't help my heart,
It keeps on falling for you.

Every night, I cry myself to sleep,
Heart in anguish over a love that will never be returned.
Yet, even when I am breaking apart,
My soul still yearns for you.

You will never be mine.
Cause even if the time comes when you'll feel like I do
I don't know if I'll ever overcome
The fear of not being good enough for you.

You will never be mine.
Cause I can never be yours.

It seems to me
That everyone else
Has found the answer
To their heart's deepest desire
While here I am
Still stuck at wherever I am.

Like a boat
That has lost its anchor
I am wandering
Lost at sea
Swayed by every wave
That comes my way.

Won't somebody come
And get me from here?
Won't somebody come
To still my sails?

A storm is ensuing
And the waves won't stay calm
I'm being tossed over and around.
Until all that's left
Are broken pieces of myself.

Won't somebody come for me?

It's been almost six years since I met you
Who knew we would be friends for this long?
I knew you as the funny guy who would always make 'puns'
Who would go to great lengths to welcome someone at the risk of being corny and getting yourself embarrassed
As we spent time together, I don't know but I just found myself growing fonder of you each day

I notice every little thing about you
How you sing with that deep and cold voice
How you look so charming every single time you smile
How you are not ashamed to cry whenever God touches your heart
I don't really know, but one day I just woke up realizing that you have already occupied a space in my heart

You are patient and kind
You are not envious nor arrogant
You are never rude, boasting nor insistent that people do things your way
You are accepting of people's faults and faith, and loves them as they are
You are a great listener, a man after God's own heart
How then could I keep my own heart from being captured?

You may not know this but you have always been an inspiration to me
It sounds too cliche but that is the only way I could say it
Your heart of service encourages me to serve
Your heart for worship fuels my own
Your passion and your own humble ways and quiet character ignites the passion of not only me, but all of those around you

I know that you are not perfect, that I may not know most of your faults
But this I know, I would like to know you more
If God permits that we go that way, I think I'd like to see other facets of your person
I'd like to know what makes you angry
I'd like to understand what frustrates you
I would like to understand what your struggles are and how each time you choose to be the man of God that you are

I think I'm in love with you.
But then, I do not really understand how this 'love' thing really works.
Is it love when you keep on thinking about someone?
When you keep finding beautiful things about that person?

Is it love when you want to be a part of that person's life, even from afar?
When you want to talk to that person, to know his thoughts and his visions and the dreams that keep him up at night?
Is it love when you see him constantly trying to be the best that he could be and look at yourself and think, "I want to be a better person"?
When you  want to share his joys and share in carrying the weight of his sorrows?

I don't really get what I feel.
This 'love' thing has never bothered me before.
I was fine being alone, content to spending the days with family and friends
But then you came, and all I could think of is how I want to be with you, how I want to spend my days with you

Is it love or a mere attraction?
Is it love or a mere infatuation?
Won't somebody tell me how this works?
It seems that the books that I read and the videos that I watch only confuse me more

Again I find myself here
In this dark, cold dungeon
Wringing my hands in despair
Crying out for salvation

I look up and ask
“Where does my help come from?
Will there be any light
Anything at all for me?”

Groping through the walls
I can’t see anything
The pitch black cell echoes
With the sound of my wails

Where are You when I call?
Be not far from me when I pray
All I need now is to be taken away
Far from this place of hurt and decay

I’m losing my voice
I can’t cry anymore
My songs have lost their spirit
I can’t bear it any longer

Jesus! Jesus!
My heart calls out to You
Take me out of this jail
Break my chains once again

Cause my past haunts me
Trying to grab me back
I’m losing my grip
Can no longer hold on tight

When will Your light come?
When will freedom arise?
I long for Your salvation
From all things in this life

A forking road before me
Which one to take?
Should I step now?
Or will you tell me to wait?

Many are the desires of my heart
My mind’s already had plans made
For the future I hope for
The dreams that keep me awake

Still Your plans prevail
The perfect plans You have for me

Your good and pleasing will

Forever it will always be