A sinner, not a saint
I bow before Your throne
***** and disgraced
I turn to You alone
Broken and Condemned
By a world of sin and shame
Unspoken cries rise up
Calling Your holy name


If I ever needed You
Lord its now
If I ever needed more
Lord its now
If I ever needed love
Lord its now
If I ever needed Grace
Lord its now


As the skies tear open
And the rain of mercy falls
I stand before your presence
Breaking down these walls
I raise my hands in reverence
Forgiven and Set Free
Through your blood and love
I am Cleansed and redeemed


If I ever needed You
Lord its now
If I ever needed more
Lord its now
If I ever needed love
Lord its now
If I ever needed Grace
Lord its now

Somewhere above
         Somewhere below
                          She lost her mind
             She lost her soul
Somewhere out there
             Somewhere inside
                   She lingers still
Innocent
Untouched
Whole

A familiar melody
floats through the air
it echos from afar
just a memory
mere empty ashes
left over from the wreckage
of our lives
Too many wars
left battle scars
Too many fights
countless lonely nights
Now there's no way back
You're on that side
I'm on this side
And that's how it will stay

I'm tired
mentally wired
strung tight like a snare
about to snap
The End.

I loved you
I married you
I lost you
Tragedy

Darkness
It haunts me
Talons from the past
Drawing me
deeper in
Lost in the caverns
of my own dark secrets
while your lies suffocate me
In a bottomless pit
of tar and decay
I let go of the life line
and sink further away

This will be the hour
The hour to let go,
A colleague, a friend a person so dear
Our thanks to her we show
New horizons she will seek
And be thus on her way
So here it is straight from our hearts
A blessing we all pray
That God will guide you and protect you
And keep you from harms way
And may the days that follow
Become wonders from above
Miracles and new beginnings
Upon which God showers His love
Though we go our separate ways
We will never forget
The lady with her Vacuum cleaner
And the files she had to get!
And even better than all the rest
The coffee that she shared!
Dud’s we will always remember
And will never forget
So u just be cool and remember
We’re still here where we first met!

It hurts to keep you
and it hurts to let you go
a secret tomorrow
with no guarantees
Is it love or comfort
commitment or habit
Why can't I decide?

Zap
End of the Chapter.
Chapter 11

As dust and debris ascends on the earth
And people in panic flee
As the bird of steel in flight collided
Our hearts in sorrow cried
Memories of a nightmare
In our wildest dreams unseen
Will stay with this whole nation
Embedded in their dreams
Across the seas and plains
Far and distant countries mourn
The death of those who once so proud
The streets of New York roamed
From the east to west
From the north to the south
A prayer is said to all
In God we trust
For He is just
This evil will come to a fall

I'm cut open

Torn
Shredded

Yet on the surface
A paper cut
Barely visible

The hurt

Your voice calls to me
In the night when I sleep
Time could never erase
The love I always harbored
Through facades and lies
I pretended to move on
Only to realize
You were always the one

I'm inspired by my pain
Intoxicated by my sorrows
The only thing that keeps me
From landing in the burrow
Is the inspiration
From all that seems in vain

On the road of my life
I see many things
I see my life as a child
I see it as I became a teenager
I see it as I as I became a grownup
Then I stopped as I remembered
The day you came into my life
Your tiny little body
So perfect and so small
And I smile as I remember
Your days as a child
Even as a teenager
Then you suddenly grew up
And the cycle of life continued
And I look and see your eyes
And I come to realize
I still love you as much as ever
My love for you has never changed
I will love you for another lifetime
And a day

There was a time
when I would do whatever you asked
A time when I would
take on an army
face any storm
That time was then
This time is now
And I'm stronger now
I am who I am
I am me
I am perfect in my eyes
I lack nothing
I have everything
I don't need you.

The other day I met you
Not knowing what would be
For how could I have known
What not one of us could see

Right from the start you made me laugh
With you just being you
Your wit, your sense of humor too
What was I suppose to do

Over just a few short days
I grew to really care
And somehow I just believe it is
A feeling we both share

But even If this feeling’s there
You do not know me still
A few good laughs a kiss or two
But so far it’s just a thrill

As much as I would want to love you
And have my love returned
I have to tell you this little truth
And it might slightly burn

You might not understand this now
Who knows if you ever will
But none the less I’ll try to explain
Why there is so much pain


What you see is who I am
I love to laugh and play
My heart is good and full of passion
But this on thing of me I say

From the naked eye I hide
A mirror I do not wish to see
I ask myself the question
Why did it have to be me?

All is not what it seems
Masks are easily worn
And very rarely do you see
Where from this pain is born

Uncertainty Hangs overhead
Like a cloud of fog rolling ahead
Distorting views and opinions
Pushing them into oblivion
Until all that's left is emptiness
And all that's seen is heartbreak

A friendly chat we started at
Not guarding our own hearts
Then the friendly talk we had
Became more serious with time
Before long we were in love
Holding the world in our hands
Hoping trusting believing
We can pursue our heart’s demands
Communicating on the Cyber Sea
Things were ok for you and me
5 e-mails and sometimes more
Became 2 e-mail less than before
Then 1 only and none from me
Guess that hurt you to the core
I guess this time of love we had
Could not the test endure?
So far away we are from love
So far from each other’s arms
I’ve felt something for you I’m sure
But love? I cannot know…
For if it was_ we would have passed
This test of love for sure
So many nights I’ve wondered
What it is that I longed for
And many times it came to this
Love – closeness and more
Then he came out of the blue
My mind still set on you
A friend he’ll be only
I told myself
We had a laugh a chat or two
There was something that I saw
Confused at first I wanted to burst
What was this feeling that I had
So we had a laugh we had a chat
And then I realized
I have fallen for another
And the feeling I cannot hide

Silent night oh Holy Night
is the song we always sing
to  a Child that was born
On that blessed day
Shepherds flocking in the field
Angelic voices drawing near
Bringing worship to a King
Did you know that on that day
the greatest gift was given unto us
The Son of God became a man
Walked on the earth Known ad Emmanuel

Thirty pieces of silver was paid
That dreadful day
With a kiss the son of God
Would be betrayed.

Oh Holy night...
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear savior's Birth.....

Hatred
It's the next best thing to love
And the only emotion
I will entertain

Is this really what you want?
A legacy you built
Thrown to the wolves
Torn to pieces
And scattered across the landscape
Pieces of us, strewn everywhere
Missing for eternity
In the vast expanse
Forever lost

Falling leaves in the autumn
As the sun pull’s further away
Leaving this concrete jungle
Cold in this day
The faces of it’s residents
Lifeless stale and hard
No expression, none at all
Leaving could every souls heart
Passing by one another
No warmth or caring there
Each one for himself
Fights to survive in
They call home....

The rays of the sun even colder now
As snow flakes starts to fall
Forcing every soul
To retreat into what they call home
Nothing left to see out there
So hide in solitude
Every one alone will be
For this season, inevitably
No warmth or love
For these lonely souls
They no not where to search
For hiding brings nothing
But loneliness,
And loneliness nothing in turn…..
The sun is breaking through the clouds
Opening doors locked for months
Breathing new life into these hearts
So long frozen alone.
Melting the ice letting water flow
Bringing hope to them all
A new season has come
For the hearts of the lost
To be lifted in spirited joy
Filling their lungs with laughter
As the days grow longer now
Giving them a reason
To believe in love somehow

The summer sun so warm
The fiery furnace in the sky
Warms the concrete jungle
Brings forth life and friendliness
On faces of those who once so cold
Only shadows of lonely times
Locked away with the winter cold
In a closet of memories lost

Is it the truth we live
Or is it a lie within
What is in a smile
If the eyes are bleak
Cloaked in the pain
We try to fight in vain
Endless endeavors
To be what is expected
An vicious circle
Never ending.

My mind is like
An out of tune guitar
Making senseless sounds
In a crowd

In the shadow of indecision
she concedes her past
compare her present
And contemplates her future

Who is this child
Staring blankly back at her
Through a mirror of dreams
Yearning to be free

Her innocence deprived
Shipwrecked ideals
Trampled to the ground
Her broken heart revealed

Can she find her way
In the dark complex maze
Through the pain and hurt
Through the condemning blaze

Where has she gone
This little child
Lost for too long
Her essence exiled

I look at the sky as the sun breaks through
The clouds of yesterday has gone
The rain washed away the filth and dirt
To bring new life to this earth

Just as my heart was dark with despair
Your light came breaking through
Just as I thought all was lost
You were the one carrying the cost

Now all I see is light, no more pain
Even though nothing has really changed
But somehow I believe You are in control
God you will never let me go.

Ring, ring the phone goes
Echo’s through my mind
I can still here your soothing voice
On the other side
Cables linked our worlds together
Networked perfectly
For just a moment I felt you here
For a moment it felt so good
I talked, you listened,
You talked I listened too,
Amazing how technology
Just works for me and you…

Our love
like a desert
an oasis of hope
on the horizon
The closer we get
the less we see
A mirage
A dream
faded
Gone

Sometimes words are not enough
To show you what I feel
But sometimes words can surely say
What deeds cannot reveal
You have been there every day
To help and guide me through
And with this card I wish to say
Thank you mom, for being you…
I love you

It's the beauty of rain
That washes away my pain
As it showers down
My heartache drowns
Quitening the anger
That causes havoc in my soul
My emotions comatosed
I feel no more

For better of for worse
A silently spoken curse
For Richer or for Poorer
A self inflicted horror
Until death us do part
Through a broken heart

I close my eyes
And say a prayer
I think of you
In your dispair
So lost alone
No where to go
I pray that God
His love will show
And where you are
In hiding alone
May you come
Before Gods throne
May you seek
His face today
Don’t forever
Turn away
For in this moment
All seems lost
But even greater
Will be the cost
If you should stumble
And never get up
So in this moment
Of utter despair
Know His voice
And quietly draw near
Let Him drown you
In his love
Let Him give you
Abundance thereof

My heart sings a sad melody
A song of dreams that used to be
Lost in a sea of forgotten wishes
Stolen hugs and passionate kisses
A beautiful love story
Left in purgatory
Forever to be
A distant memory

She lies
In a darkened meadow
She cries
Fleeing the shadow
Alone
Trying to breathe
Unknown
Lying beneath
Convicted
Awaiting her fate
Depicted
On a canvas of slate
She dies
Beneath the meadow
She lies
Alone in the shadow
Forever….

Without a word
I had to assume
without a smile
my spirit died
without a tear
my heart shut down
and without a word
I gave up.
I'm done.

Ever so often
When I am alone
I find myself dreaming
Of you…
I then close my eyes
And slowly drift away
To a place
Where we are alone
My hand in yours
Your hand in mine
So close together
We are
Intensity, love,
Passion delight
May this dream forever
Be true
As reality returns
I come to realize
This is not a dream
‘Cause I love you
And you love me….
It’s a love very rarely seen…

When I started feeding the dogs
Did one of you ask "Can I help?"
When I started cleaning the house
Did one of you ask "Can I help?"
When I started doing the Laundry
Did one of you ask "Can I help?"
When I started making supper
Did one of you ask "Can I help?"
When I went to do the Groceries
Did one of you ask "Can I help?"
When I started to slowly die
Did one of you ask "Can I help?"
When I died
All of you jumped in "Can we help?"
But it was too late - to help.

Light to dark
Love to hate
Joy to sorrow
Friend to foe
May the one who claimed
Opposites attract
move from life to death
Opposites
Negatives
Pain
Disdain
There nothing positive
When it comes to opposites.

Tears of sorrow wash down my face
Troubled thoughts an endless race
I reach up to heaven
But the clouds are in the way
No light breaks through
These stormy skies
Why is it that I cannot hide
From the truth that I refuse to see
Is it that my fate ever will be
Sorrowful a raging war
Deep inside this stone cold wall
Is there no mercy
No love
No Grace
Will I ever be able to finish the race.

Pain...
The one thing that remains
when all that is good
has passed you by
leaving nothing
but an empty promise
and a suffocating lie.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas..
La la dee da da….
The song rings in the distance
Carried by the wind to the corners of the earth
Standing outside while the rain softly drizzles
I look across the miles
The vast ocean spread before me
In my heart I feel a longing
Only I at this moment can see
So far away you are from me
But oh the wonderful thought
That even though we are far apart
Love, with a price we had bought
In time we will come to understand
How this could ever be
Such a warm and wonderful sensation
Shared between you and me
I laugh with you when you talk to me
I even cry sometimes
But not once have I ever had a doubt
That this love was not to be found
I do not know what this Christmas will be like
I do not what tomorrow brings
But what I know is that I believe
Our hearts together sings
About a love that might forever be
That might just one day work
A love that no man could even imagine
A love so pure and true
And from a far the song rings again
A merry Christmas indeed
…tomorrow all our trouble will be out of sight….

Carried by a gentle breeze
Withered leaves it al but seems
Leaves of long past winters fall
But very few in time it sees
Dark the color of the sky
As the breeze becomes a wind
Twisting twirling making way
Ripping everything out of place
Standing still I come to see
Only I in the storm be
All around me joy abounds
What is this I have not found
The storm inside me raging forth
Stripping passion, love, and more
Killing what I tried to keep
Hidden safely inside me no more
The soulful battle fearsomely fought
Against the raging deadly storm
Will I make it will I win
Or will it be I forever buried within.

The pendulum of time
Ticks from side to side
Heavily weighted down
Drawing into gravity
Where has time gone?
Where did we go?
How did I lose you?
How did you disappear?
Time… the only thing we have
Yet time… the only thing that can pass.

From far across
The skies so blue
I look to see
If I could see you
A steal strong bird
On wings a flight
At last I saw a distant light
Landing safe on solid ground
I knew at last my family I found

For days you were so far away
As every night I knelt to pray
That God will bring you safely home
To where I know your love is shown
And as faithful as the Lord could be
My prayer He answered and now I see
He brought you back to where you belong
And I welcome you with a love so strong

Yesterday I needed you
      Obsessed by what I desire
                Under the moon in my dreams.
                                        I
                                    kissed
                                     YOU

As I close my eyes I see your silhouette
Your face is but a secret
Yet in mind and soul we’ve met
Knight from a far and distant place
Tell me how this be but us
Two souls so much in unity
Thus so crazed to see reality
Displayed on a canvas of slate
For thine words flows from thine lips
Like magic into the heart of such a young soulful being
Inspiration from and ancient source
Be it of Druids or Celtic born
Thine soul consumed and by passion scorned
My Knight, be thine ever so true
And let fantasy and dreams grow stronger,
and soulful bliss, a part of you,
for in eternity the poem is born
And words of love by it be sworn
Forever Knight…the lady awaits
the words from thy hearts core...

Evening skies moonlit and bright
But deep in my soul no light is in sight
All I have is a memory of you
A face in the darkness so lonely and blue

Your eyes seem so somber
Your gaze so intense
How could it be
It just doesn’t make sense

One moment your happy
The next you are down
In these emotions
You surely will drown

I tried and I cried
But nothing would work
Your mind was made up
And you said the last word....