i laid my head against your chest
listening to the sound of your mortality

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there's a girl outside the door
i wonder if she's thinking about me
talking to other guys
always other guys
who listen
or act like it
difficult to tell
meaningless conversations
a mind surrounded
by those seeking a body
for a bit of fun
while i sit here

maybe i'll figure you out someday
ask just the right question
if you'll keep letting me in
then you can find out what i see in you

a dark rainy city
a bachelor walking through
hoodie up, headphones in
the lights glisten in his eyes
a lonely tune in his ear
headed toward the unknown
his apartment possibly
in the heart of downtown
dressed unusually nice
for the lack of occasion
but maybe there's one
he stays busy
among those moving cars & moving people
always meeting new ones
and talking to ones from long ago
gleams of his past lives
keeping him afloat in some ways
but otherwise not so much

a mind of bliss
a heart full of hope
a bachelor in the city

Melody of sirens
Bursting from within
Single thoughts float
Among the vast subject of you
Enough to consume itself
Getting high on the high
No method needed
Only a picture, touch, or word
Or madness with it all!
Because living has a purpose
When I have you to hold.

We all want more
We all can't accept
Or do we accept
That who we are is unacceptable
Unless we change
Who we are
How we behave
Who we talk to
How much we make
We all want more
We all can't accept
But we should.

An echo; a friend
Shout out or pretend
To live a pleasant life
But for now just depends
If there's a voice I truly hear
Or if I can ever send
A message of my heart
That you might commend
For being ever true
Despite where I've been
Sitting here alone
My thoughts from a pen.

i never wanted to hurt you
in a lot of ways i did
a string of connections
and not even that
that shouldn't have been
i don't want to cry over you
because it wasn't you
and i wasn't me
at least who i wanted to be
despite my past thoughts

i'm sorry for many things
but an apology doesn't change what happened
words typed or written
worth may be desired
but reality is the true expression

so i depart from you,
a few words left behind
others in my head,
to live that good life
become the person i want to be
learn from my mistakes
and salvage some appreciation
from what you saw in me

Rose from the view
Summer's day never too soon
Friendship sought and found
Underneath an orange moon

Tears from the sorrow
Couldn't hold me away
Tried to really help
Hold on for one more day

Didn't think about the love
About my heart or its desire
Just cried with you all night
But in secret getting higher
On the fact that you were you
Because I realized from the dawn
That you were in need of love
And I wanted to write you a song.

Maybe I was mislead,
But I always think ahead,
So taking credibility is something that I must shed.
Hurting more never felt so good,
Cause loving you is will/should.
And maybe every stream of light is another ounce of sadness,
But seeing you, Lizzie, is keeping me from madness.

i could have held you all night
and put my fingers through your hair
i would have talked with you forever
swapping stories till the sunrise
exchanging eyes with one another
lips interlocked in a requited warmth
i could have held you all night

there are poets all around
  speaking aloud
   to those who will listen

a rotation
  of the population

ones searching
  ones mourning
   ones thinking
    ones praying

for something
  or someone
   or nothing
    or no one

why do we turn
  to writing
   to reading
    to sleeping
     to dreaming
      for fulfillment

i guess we find comfort
  in this space
   of the abstract
    to release ourselves
     find company for once
      and return when peace is found

Hell would feel really good right now, compared to this.
I was so close to happiness, when I reached for your kiss.
Saw your panicking eyes, which broke my whole heart.
And when you turned away? You took me apart.
Assuming is one thing I really shouldn't do.
Because trusting someone is nothing of a virtue.
Why couldn't I be full of sheer glee?
Maybe it's because you’re all I can see.
Recovery is a word I wish was true.
But until it comes I'll be drowned by rue.

I love it here, that's all that matters.
The old place is now just only blurs.
It's you and I, and no one else.
Please don't ruin this, or I will hurt.

A road diverged
From the road less traveled
No Frost to help me on my way.
Nor choice to runaway from yesterday.
Another road, another day

i never wrote you a poem
though sometimes i wish i did
those words you find to perfectly detail
every single spec of feeling
another body to feed off of
and awake by her side

i wonder about those moments now
those words never found
no pages left to turn
another night to myself
speaking now as an aside

i wrote you a poem
but i guess it's too late

as my arms wrapped around you
i couldn't help but think
how well we fit together
like a puzzle with two pieces
long ago separated
fallen down a floor crack
sunk into the couch
adrift in the sewers
underneath the paper due tomorrow
until you came into my arms

but i also knew then
as i was sinking into the ambience
enjoying every single ounce of you
that we're all pieces
in the largest of puzzles
ever-changing in shape
ever-seeking our two piece paradise



and that's ok
that's why i could hold you
and that's why i'll keep holding you
until i can't anymore.

it's 3am, i'm eating cereal and thinking of you
circling through my thoughts
wondering how it got this way
if it's all in my head
if i've created a world where we're together
speaking through the night
until the light comes back
until reality roars back into life
making me search for some truth in it all
some substance to the chemistry
some hope to grab onto
a circle of creation
one more message
one more response
waiting for an indication

your kisses were like sprinkles on a just-baked cupcake
purple with light pink icing
no candle on top

your hands had me melting
like chocolate chips on the stove
milk or dark,, just not white

your skin felt so soft
like whipped cream with some coffee
lots of creamer, stirred well

a shared adrenaline rush

She had lied.
So he had cried.
She said she was sorry.
So he said don't worry.
She said she wanted to move on.
So he told her, he was still drawn.
She said to let go.
But he still stood there, at her window.

Every time I lay down I've been thinking of you
The thing about us is 1 + 1 still equals 2
2 together growing older
Still maturing, staying younger
Sharing what we have to give and loving more than we probably should
But I find that that is better than feeling misunderstood.
And I hope that what we have will stay true for what it's worth;
Hurt may come our way soon but I am always in rebirth.
Who I am and who I've been may come together through us,
So no matter what's been said I will always share trust.
With you I am happy and in life I am free,
To give what I have.  That is my one plea.

The end, the end
Oh, why pretend?
Sadness, madness
To hell with the gladness
I can't stand to lose
What I never gained
But in the end it all seems vein.
No more, no more
No time for pain
No nothing's gained, but for the rain
The wind, the stars, the moon, the sun
Love's eternal.  No room for none.

If life were a battle
then no one'd have cattle cause
tending is hard to do.
Rather than that,
they'd sit there and chat
'bout things that they already knew.
Helping is rare
cause no one will share
what they know that makes life so blue.
So will I survive?
I guess I'll just dive
cause if I don't I'll never be true.

Have you ever seen
such a moon-stricken sight?
Where the people you knew
got stuck in the night?
When everything you thought you had
was looking away from you?
Because the mirror on the wall
cast an image of pure blue?
Well if you haven't, I can say
you're lucky and intact.
Your life is yours to live,
and that's one thing I know for fact.

there's so much talking going on
holding your attention quickly becomes burdensome
though it's easier to sink out of the room
not that i ever do

come to be social
stay for the atmosphere
leave without much
except a buzz and the urge to avoid sleep

A thousand clouds or so
A rough estimate
Of the evening storm
Passing those tree tops and muddy yards
City sidewalks scuffed
Coated with rain & discarded steps
A slight glow marking the air
Which stood remarkably still
Among the sparse bustle
Of parallel wanderers
Sharing sound
And company
Until the sky
Changes mood

Just hopefully not soon

Small words exchanged
With the spaces and marks
Though nothing's changed
No longer in the dark
Now sharing thoughts
And news always there
Doesn't explain the loss
Of his despair.

Her letters so neat
Put together; no other.
But not always complete
Still stuck in her suffer
To help.  My goal.
Even though I may gain
In persisting to console
Must continue in the game.

Rules in the way
Head filled to the brim
So when appearing grey
All doubt fills him.
Second-guessing.  Incorrect?
Impossible to know.
Unable to collect
Her feelings down below.

Head over heels?
Falling indefinitely, it seems.
No control.  No appeal.
Too open by all means.

Dark butterflies
Flutter through the garden
No burden or care
As they wander through
The thoughts I hold dear

Save me, oh God, from this dreadful place.
I need to get going and speed up my pace.
My heart's rushing forward, not stopping a bit.
My mind is lost, caught up in a split.
Too many thoughts and too much despair.
My eyes are full of stars, which really is rare.
Please give me the grace to start anew.
Because my life needs a new hue.

What words can't describe,
Is too often what's inside
Breaking apart the inner pure,
Destroying every single door.
Isolating all that's known,
Defying the science of the grown.

But as chaos makes his home,
The pen finds his poem,
And together they'll coincide
Inside the eyes of the blind
Until we learn to see what's true.

Sudden thunder, evening night.
Once uprising, now not in sight.
Eroded and scarred, but not close to done.
Sadness might shine, still there’s hope for the sun.
Ringing loud and clear, my heart yearns for love.
Lizzie listen to me now; will you be the dove?

Drip drip
Can't stop
Hurt
Help help
Gone
No goodbye
Please please
Hold on
Too weak
No no
Can't be perfect
Don't expect it
Why why
Can't I be
Always trying
Fail fail
Too much
When I'm with you

Sanity serves only I.
Get out and get in.
Join or disregard.
Let strength be not an issue
Nor others intimidate
Find the wisdom in care
And love will come near.
Shall then you see what's pure?

Too much time is wasted
In this world today.
Dreams are lost and thoughts are tossed
Like nothing really matters either way.
But my mind seems to think
That only I am weak
For my goal is only to wait.
Cause progress, to me, is just a cup of tea
That I resist after little debate.
Yet the time goes by
And often do I cry
Because sadness has taken over me.
But maybe someday
When the moon stops being grey,
I’ll return to that boy who had a gleam is his eye
That refused to let himself die.

if my body was a castle
i'd be forever forgetting its stones and towers
always wondering how it looks to others
how it will age
and who might like to visit years later


if my body was a castle
all the rooms would be either too big or too small to me
i'd get lost in most hallways
but be fascinated by its infrastructure


if my body was a castle
i'm not sure who i'd let it
how deep the moat might be
or if i'd even have one

DON'T PANIC
be careful where you step
try not to catch feelings
an apple a day keeps the love away
say what you mean & mean what you say
don't move too fast
what do you like about her?
do you have her number yet?
how do you feel about meeting her parents?
are you even together?

i don't know
but that's ok

if clarity is key
i've always been locked out

of what?


if clarity is key
i always hit the wrong note

which song?


if clarity is key
i'm lost with no direction

where do i go?


if clarity is key
i wish i'd find some

some day

i want to feel something new
with you
and go back to that place
embrace
i want to run away
just stay
so we can reminisce
on this
enjoying the storm
so warm
one could never
remember

but i always will.

let me hold you again
and i'll kiss you this time
into the night
we can collide
let's be still
let's ride this high
into the night
we can collide

The world is bustling here and there.
Why can't I get up from this chair?
I'm strapped in tight, without a choice.
Will I ever get to use this voice?
God please go fast, or I will run.
Aren't I supposed to be having fun?
My mind will bend, but my heart won't break.
Until then... call me Blake.

The lies are rolling by.
All I can do is cry.
The world is going 'round,
As I bury myself in the ground.
They all say they care
But that doesn't affect my despair.
I can't live like this!
I need your love, your kiss.
So now my life has come to an end,
It's time for me to go and descend..

Hellbound
Dug deep is my grave
Too late now to save
Or else there would be
Those that penetrate
Look beyond the simple facts
That make me who I am.
Guilty
Reads the jury as a whole
No debate or excuses accepted
Who cares if you wept
When you're a criminal to the best.
Choking
Soon let it come
Or then my tongue may run amuck
With words that may or may not get stuck
Within your head as reasonable or just
None of which you're told to trust.
Hanging
No more will I corrupt
Nor rear my head or use it such
A silence, now, will enter in
For justice truly did you win.
Until you calm and regret.

Among the many faces
Calls out from the blank space
A sound of interjection
A bullet from a gun

Spreading outward unaffected
Running rampant in total red.
Too fast to dodge or slow
Hold on quick or take the blow.

Confusion, confusion, what a bother!
Always suggesting "would you rather.."
Can't it all just go away,
To a place where only chosens stay?
Never return, oh goodness no.
For we would have to stop this show.

The content boy visited his content home
Hugging his parents with content and enjoying his content friends
They shared content times with one another and helped keep the boy content
Though some uncontent thoughts did come, but he was able to replace them with content ones
All was content during the visit and this made the boy content about the future

it's another rainy night
find myself staring out my window
into that empty street
lit by a single golden light
a familiar sight
of summer's past
though as a cold breeze rolls by
the differences become apparent
i look to the darkness with a new grace
engaged but no longer in turmoil
emotional but still aware
yearning but for something real
and that's something to celebrate
so i'll lay here and listen
because the sound of the rain
rings the sound of your name
in my mind
tonight

i think it's been worse before
different girl, different time
though i couldn't say for sure

it didn't happen before
different feeling, different places
though i wouldn't say we've changed

now it's hard thinking about before
different mindsets, different worlds
what did i say that made it alright?

i still go back that moment before
we laid still
saying nothing

the difference between you and me
-at least from what i know-
is that you moved on
and i'm still there
on that couch
in that house
tv left on
storms sounding
shadows merged
eyes closed
taking everything in
enjoying your presence
and wondering
how this all happened
what might come
and who i should tell
about this embrace
and some disgrace
from our connection
not sure who could understand
what we had
in that time and place
some sort of feeling
an echo into the night
a glimpse of insight
into each others' minds
two worlds collide
into the silence
that we shared
no compare
until just now
when i realized how
i'm still there
lying there
lying every day
lying for something
i know not to be true

Dying sounds so good.
I'm think I might do it under the hood.
No one could see, but no one even cares.
I think I'll go... downstairs.
No more happiness, no more will.
I'm permently stopping this treadmill...

Sleeping, to me, is oh so great,
A little bit of love, no more hate.
The world I know has turned against me,
But no one notices; can't they see?
I loved and loved and kept on given,
Now they say I was always sinnin'.
Maybe, maybe I could dream.
All I need is a little gleam...

I can't say I love the world or that I've made it any better
But believe me when I say I try with every letter
I do what I do not only for myself
The care I have for you in my heart has no stealth
It's no good inside, so whether you like me,
I'm just trying to provide for you.
Appreciation can be a motivation
When I try to handle all the satisfaction
I get from within,
So stop trying to win
Just join the revolution
Rebel the evolution
And embrace this universe in **peace