Pain, pain, come to me.
The darkness, the darkness, let me see.
So much, so much, so much debris.
If you knew, you would agree...

Can't decide what to do, I still love you.
We were so happy, we could've flew.
No more happiness, everything’s blue.
I guess we were just... overdue

Silent ticking lends its stay
To help me on my way
Even though it rarely ever does.
Little does it know
I have none that tends to grow
Because drownèd by logic I have been.
Helpless, I may be
But love will let me see
So if you seek then commence.
I want with all sense;
Together, you and I shall be free.

The end, the end
Oh, why pretend?
Sadness, madness
To hell with the gladness
I can't stand to lose
What I never gained
But in the end it all seems vein.
No more, no more
No time for pain
No nothing's gained, but for the rain
The wind, the stars, the moon, the sun
Love's eternal.  No room for none.

My, my, my, what foolish me.
I thought I could finally see.
But I guess all things come to an end,
Eventually

if my body was a castle
i'd be forever forgetting its stones and towers
always wondering how it looks to others
how it will age
and who might like to visit years later


if my body was a castle
all the rooms would be either too big or too small to me
i'd get lost in most hallways
but be fascinated by its infrastructure


if my body was a castle
i'm not sure who i'd let it
how deep the moat might be
or if i'd even have one

Do you know why
When I think of you I try
To imagine how
I could ever allow
A girl like you
To break through
My heart
And restart
The love
Heard of
By only
The lonely?
More so,
How do I know
I can hide
And coincide
Alone...without you?

Lost in the sun, lost in the power
Girl, if you’re down just give me another hour
More lessons learned, but more to be found
The less noise there is, the more there is sound.
Submission isn’t required as much as it’s welcome
And baby you’ll be proud even more of the outcome.
Scared of loving shouldn’t stop the beat now
“Forever & Always” will always be my vow.

i'm an expert
of my own mind
taking familiar faces
and carving them
with perfect personalities
that say exactly the right things
to influence & interact
better people for a better world
but only believed in by me

i'm an expert
of my own mind
spinning reality the right way
in all the wrong ways
for my own belief
filled with fiction
figments of future possibilities
probablys not prone to happen
though when they do
i know i must be
an expert of my own fate

your kisses were like sprinkles on a just-baked cupcake
purple with light pink icing
no candle on top

your hands had me melting
like chocolate chips on the stove
milk or dark,, just not white

your skin felt so soft
like whipped cream with some coffee
lots of creamer, stirred well

a shared adrenaline rush

as my arms wrapped around you
i couldn't help but think
how well we fit together
like a puzzle with two pieces
long ago separated
fallen down a floor crack
sunk into the couch
adrift in the sewers
underneath the paper due tomorrow
until you came into my arms

but i also knew then
as i was sinking into the ambience
enjoying every single ounce of you
that we're all pieces
in the largest of puzzles
ever-changing in shape
ever-seeking our two piece paradise



and that's ok
that's why i could hold you
and that's why i'll keep holding you
until i can't anymore.

i hear the birds chirping
outside my window
late night messages
to the late night boy
in the lava lamp room

Maybe falling fast doesn't really sound too scary
But the view when you look down can be kind of wary.
Second chances never come, and people never change,
Well baby I still love you even though you've always been strange.
And I'm sorry for confusing,
Cause what we have now I’m so scared of losing.
But every second without you is a year for my heart,
So I guess it's decided let's get up and start...

as the light comes in my window
i wonder what's happening inside
my head, whether it's registering
emotion like i am. the blinds get
to decide what i think about and
what i dwell on through the night
and into the next sometimes for
days on end. until it does end...
and it's as if nothing was even
wrong in the first place. was it?
i'm not even sure anymore. but
that light keeps coming through
and i shut my blinds for another
time, sinking into the candlelight

The wind is strong, it tears apart.
The rain picks up, it's getting dark.
The thunder cracks louder, makes everyone fuss.
The lightning strikes down, there can't be enough.
The clouds are black, covering all.
The hail is pounding, "danger" is its silent call.
The tornado is coming, preparing to start.
All these things I feel in my heart.

Taking chances, not looking back.
Walking into the clear blue glass.
Jumping off of my safe, warm hill.
Learning more than I ever will.
Healing what has been so haunted.
Forgetting all the things that taunted.
All these things with one big question:
Where is love's beloved mansion?

the older i get
the less it matters
the more i see
the less it drives
the easier it gets
the more it means
the good and the bad
it's all in between

Living in this world has changed me.
But changing the world is why I'm free.
Destroying the old so new can grow.
Mighty and determined, I burn and blow.
I have meaning, just look real close.
The remains I leave bring the beauty of a rose.
My core is strong but mysterious at best.
Because in life, surviving is the test.

Shouting farther, thinking of the last
Time only flies when you’re looking at the past
Changes build up and life gets bitter
That is, if you compare the bitter to the better
Life’s short, that’s true, but don’t waste your time thinkin’
That’s ten more seconds of love that you’re missin’
Memories may haunt but don’t let them control
The things you care most and their price at the toll

i tick tock
back & forth
back & forth
back & forth
back & forth
back & forth
i beat on the drum of my own life
in perfect lockstep with the me i want to be
always wondering what to do next

The lies are rolling by.
All I can do is cry.
The world is going 'round,
As I bury myself in the ground.
They all say they care
But that doesn't affect my despair.
I can't live like this!
I need your love, your kiss.
So now my life has come to an end,
It's time for me to go and descend..

She had lied.
So he had cried.
She said she was sorry.
So he said don't worry.
She said she wanted to move on.
So he told her, he was still drawn.
She said to let go.
But he still stood there, at her window.

Some think love will always last,
But others say it’ll become the past.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try
Even if you think you might cry.
Love twists and turns day by day,
But never does it truly fade away.
Now love can change as things get tough,
But no one said it had to change stuff.
For what love was ever to see,
That both of them, wanted to break free.
You can’t always feel the love that’s there,
But keep on looking, don’t let it tear.
It’ll come back, don’t end it now
Please stick with me, I’ll fix it somehow.
So now I just sit here and wait,
For you to love me, and clear the slate.

if my body was a temple
i'd have rainbow stained glass windows
there'd be one switch for all lights
and the music would never stop


if my body was a temple
i would welcome all beliefs
no one would sit alone
and everyone would be a minister


if my body was a temple
it'd be open all the time
and be known as a safe place
where you could find comfort and company each day

Twisted sense or common sense
Leave me now without defense
Try to think or try to mend
Feelings which will never end
But drift away and do descend
Cause time and change go hand in hand.

Little words, big feelings, got you in a mess.
So much to love but when it don't bring success
You tend to crash and fall and burn but baby that's ok;
I feel your pain too, and I promise that I'll stay.
Meaning has no meaning in the things you never sad,
But when it comes to you and me, I think we're better in the bed.
Don't confuse me now, because it's hope that brings together,
Pretending it was charm when it was really that old letter
We would not be here, not be talkin'
All the same without the stoppin'
Just to say "Hi, how are you?" and be off
And then I realize how it is and what I really do.
I know you'll never read this but I hope that you dream too.

I find myself
When I awake
Every single morning.
A thought or two
And then a few
Catch up to my reality.
The world is clear
I do not fear
Whatever I may face.
Don't ask me why
Or how it's done
I simply live on top the sun.

Blistering boundaries
Wordless worry
Lightly laying
Just you and me

Sharing stories
Of occasions
Almost abandoned
Just you and me

Kissing kids
Holding hands
Forgetting fate
Just you and me

More than waves, swimming is a chance to let it all out.
More than ice, buoys make it easy to lose all our doubt.
More than snow, earth helps us stand up on our own.
More than leaves, rocks hold us down so we won't end alone.
More than sand, wind takes the end to a place that's brand new.
More than gravity, what's next?  Well I guess that's up to you.

Right and wrong
What a waste
Spreading like an awful taste
Wrong and right
Are here again
Words seem only to ascend
Right and wrong
But who really wins
Coming up on such a whim
Wrong and right
Can't stay forever
Says everyone who gives an effort
Right and wrong
Too sane to think
Or maybe not at all.

Ringing loudly in my ear,
My body quivers full of fear.
I'm told I'm too young to start the fight;
Such statements tend to blind the light.
If I am myself, then don't misguide me.
Keep your thoughts to yourself so I can see.

it's 3am, i'm eating cereal and thinking of you
circling through my thoughts
wondering how it got this way
if it's all in my head
if i've created a world where we're together
speaking through the night
until the light comes back
until reality roars back into life
making me search for some truth in it all
some substance to the chemistry
some hope to grab onto
a circle of creation
one more message
one more response
waiting for an indication

into the black night i went
riding the tailwind of emotion
spent up in the heartbeat and luscious breathes
little space between our gaze
so quickly did we yearn for this
succeeding only to frighten & excite us both

whitewashed printer paper
black ink
one thousand words
a disk
some marker ink
and a piece of cardboard
are this month's shared touch

i hope this is
sufficient

I'll let the pain set me free
I'll let the thoughts come back
I'll let the sadness consume me
I'll stop the love from fighting back..

What can I say?
When I'm with you I want to stay.
Give a little, take a chance
Remember all the romance?
Trust in me
And you will see
The world at its best.
No doubts, all invest.
So take the clue;
I want to be with you.

two bodies lay there
on the couch
in the house
cold and empty
though rather lovely

they lay very close
intimate and serene
exposed but comfortable
in a nice sort of silence
only experienced once before

a single phrase rang out
in the mind of one
for the other
"i love you"

a curious thought
amongst a careful affection
now preserved for later use
for the other
or another
whenever it might be true

another message sent
the same one received
seen at a glance
(a flicker in your eye)
a short moment and small fingers type away
send
(hoping for a quick response)
back to writing

i never wanted to hurt you
in a lot of ways i did
a string of connections
and not even that
that shouldn't have been
i don't want to cry over you
because it wasn't you
and i wasn't me
at least who i wanted to be
despite my past thoughts

i'm sorry for many things
but an apology doesn't change what happened
words typed or written
worth may be desired
but reality is the true expression

so i depart from you,
a few words left behind
others in my head,
to live that good life
become the person i want to be
learn from my mistakes
and salvage some appreciation
from what you saw in me

Scattered in the sea with your name in the waves
Like little bits of light in cold, dark caves
Wash up to the shore with a chance of infinity
Even though it hurts I can barely agree
Conditions are right, but timing isn't fair
No signs give warning, no riches in prayer
So give me some space and declare it's done
I'll find you real fast, don't you try to run
The light may be red but I refuse to park
And leaving you would leave me surrounded in dark.

I love it here, that's all that matters.
The old place is now just only blurs.
It's you and I, and no one else.
Please don't ruin this, or I will hurt.

it's another rainy night
find myself staring out my window
into that empty street
lit by a single golden light
a familiar sight
of summer's past
though as a cold breeze rolls by
the differences become apparent
i look to the darkness with a new grace
engaged but no longer in turmoil
emotional but still aware
yearning but for something real
and that's something to celebrate
so i'll lay here and listen
because the sound of the rain
rings the sound of your name
in my mind
tonight

as i weave through the city streets of my hometown
my mind drifts away
thankful that this city hasn't brought the anxiety i've come to expect
i wonder what's different
thankful that these people i call friends
thankful for some emotional stability
thankful for the time and for this life of mine

Where to go
How to be
When to show
How to please
One more step
In this direction
Clueless but
Got your attention
Good enough
Or so it seems
Happy now
But by extremes
Reality says
Nothing at all
But that's because
I don't answer it's call.

as i awoke reality shifted into gear
a process mastered though often unappreciated
(depending on the dream)
that morning i didn't remember any
but there was one thing
one that also happened to still be there
sitting up right beside me
as i took note of her outline
quickly went through the checklist of features i've come to know
(though most immaterial)



and then i fell back asleep.

I want to die,
I want to bleed.
I want to feel her breath against me.
No one can help,
Only she.
For I can't help, but see the......

i want to be the sugar in your veins
rushing rushing rushing
shiver shiver
a cute smile and two smiling eyes

i want to be your dopamine
warmly singing the song of the day
wisping your spirit among the trees
only a whisper to be heard

i want to be your heart
pumping life into your limbs
keeping rhythm in the night
ever-beating your good name

A thousand clouds or so
A rough estimate
Of the evening storm
Passing those tree tops and muddy yards
City sidewalks scuffed
Coated with rain & discarded steps
A slight glow marking the air
Which stood remarkably still
Among the sparse bustle
Of parallel wanderers
Sharing sound
And company
Until the sky
Changes mood

Just hopefully not soon

Waking up, I think we are,
Looking back up, at our star.
I wanted this, I always did
I think we just... overdid.
But now let's go and run again,
It'll be so great, just like back when..

what is it about
small talk
that seems so small

and what classifies as
big talk
or something in between

it seems that even the
small talk
impacts our lives

and likewise
big talk
sometimes never does