it's another rainy night
find myself staring out my window
into that empty street
lit by a single golden light
a familiar sight
of summer's past
though as a cold breeze rolls by
the differences become apparent
i look to the darkness with a new grace
engaged but no longer in turmoil
emotional but still aware
yearning but for something real
and that's something to celebrate
so i'll lay here and listen
because the sound of the rain
rings the sound of your name
in my mind
tonight

what is it about
small talk
that seems so small

and what classifies as
big talk
or something in between

it seems that even the
small talk
impacts our lives

and likewise
big talk
sometimes never does

it's you that i've been waiting to find

but it wasn't you
present in other ways
friendly and welcoming
a smile, a hand
i wonder what you saw in me

but i was never waiting
more like recovering
more like discovering
a new life
a new town
i wonder if you were too

but i didn't find
nor you with me
no star-crossed evening
or prince at the ball
i wonder what changed



but i did find something
i want it to be you
and i'll wait

i hope that's enough.

More is what I'm thinking.
More is what you're wanting
More will come soon, right?
More is coming into sight..

A thousand clouds or so
A rough estimate
Of the evening storm
Passing those tree tops and muddy yards
City sidewalks scuffed
Coated with rain & discarded steps
A slight glow marking the air
Which stood remarkably still
Among the sparse bustle
Of parallel wanderers
Sharing sound
And company
Until the sky
Changes mood

Just hopefully not soon

i laid my head against your chest
listening to the sound of your mortality

Cycle, cycle, cycle and go.
Common am I to that of my foe.
Safe and ready, I always am.
Helping all, for I am a lamb.
'Thankful' is a word I seldom hear.
Because forever I will offer my sheer.
I know more than ever will be known.
For all the earth is what I'm shown.

"i missed you"
the words muddled out as i was leaving
did i really miss her? i wondered
it seemed like i did
i wanted to be back
more time alone
more to share & learn
did i really miss her? i wondered
it felt like i did
though time apart was fine
catching up with others
keeping myself in check
did i really miss her? i wondered
i think i did
who's to say though
it came to mind then
an impulse almost
and that holds some value
did i really miss her? i wondered
well what if i didn't?
and what does that mean?
i wasn't sure
oh well

did i really miss her? i wondered

Live, love, laugh, learn.
Just make sure you make the right turns.
Don't look back if you turn left though,
Cause all that does is lead to concerns.

Caution to the wind?
Mustn't be afraid of getting skinned.
Love is like that, don't you know?
The one, the only, the big Heart Show.

Breaking.. leaving.. all so sad.
You say I'm making you be this mad.
But you're the one who can't really add.
Me + You makes everyone glad

there's a tornado outside my bathroom
and it's taking me away
to a place as white as cotton
where the angels sing and play




don't stay here too long

i could have held you all night
and put my fingers through your hair
i would have talked with you forever
swapping stories till the sunrise
exchanging eyes with one another
lips interlocked in a requited warmth
i could have held you all night

an inflection in your tone
some feelings overgrown
a sense of happy dismay
over the thought of you
wondering how soon
this emotion can run free
a beat with no embrace
just one quick taste
is all i need for now

step by step
hand in hand

a nice winter morning
in the tepid afternoon

two hopeful tones
one groggy, the other in tune

heading south
toward town

an empty city
full of emotion

a simmering sense
of optimism

'twas all he could ask for

there's a little orange sun outside my window
it shines sorta bright and into the dark night
where the deer frolic and the snakes slither
to the insects it's a disco and they party till the dawn
i am thankful for my sunshine and i am thankful when it's gone

i get up slowly and make some small offhand comment
maybe a joke or observation
it doesn't actually matter
every second counts
i slip on my shoes and collect my things
as i walk towards the door i think about what i want to say
i turn around and give what i can only hope is a caring embrace
when i let go i'm met with a strong gaze
that's my cue to lean in
afterwards i deliver my half-baked message
i open the door and hit the pavement with my hood up
"what now?" i think

Wonderfully speaking, right now I am to you
I've hoped for this a long time, then suddenly, there was you
It happened oh so fast, before anyone ever really knew
The word got out, I wanted to shout, how much I'd been thinking of you
My mind is giddy with joy all the time, with thoughts of me and you
I can't believe my eyes this time; will you be the one that's true?

i hope this snow never melts, the snow plows break down, and we spend all our time making memories
i admit that's kind of extreme.

but i don't care who i have to beg or how many people i have to pay off
these days are beautiful and i want to stay here with you

there's a girl outside the door
i wonder if she's thinking about me
talking to other guys
always other guys
who listen
or act like it
difficult to tell
meaningless conversations
a mind surrounded
by those seeking a body
for a bit of fun
while i sit here

maybe i'll figure you out someday
ask just the right question
if you'll keep letting me in
then you can find out what i see in you

The room is dark, but no one cares.
They just sit there, waiting, in their chairs.
No one talks or laughs at all,
Most of us just want to bawl.
Then someone tall walks in the room,
We all look up to see the doom.
It doesn't come, it's such a shock,
I guess it's time to spin the clock.

let me hold you again
and i'll kiss you this time
into the night
we can collide
let's be still
let's ride this high
into the night
we can collide

DON'T PANIC
be careful where you step
try not to catch feelings
an apple a day keeps the love away
say what you mean & mean what you say
don't move too fast
what do you like about her?
do you have her number yet?
how do you feel about meeting her parents?
are you even together?

i don't know
but that's ok

the flame went out
and so did you
that's what i wanted to believe
the only one who could have started it
other than me
but some images
like the flame
or lack thereof
don't mean anything
and neither should you

the flame went out

i want to feel something new
with you
and go back to that place
embrace
i want to run away
just stay
so we can reminisce
on this
enjoying the storm
so warm
one could never
remember

but i always will.

i got a message today
out of the blue
from you
but who is you?
and who reads this
late at night
processing these thoughts i've typed
wondering what i feel inside
but is it you?
is there a you?
changing in my head every day
a new feeling, a new desire
surrounded by things i can't have
things i think i want
until the next one comes
a fleet of fleeting emotion

i got a message today
i hope it was from you

or you
or you
or you

there's so much talking going on
holding your attention quickly becomes burdensome
though it's easier to sink out of the room
not that i ever do

come to be social
stay for the atmosphere
leave without much
except a buzz and the urge to avoid sleep

A bed of empty
A mind of want
How long until
There is no part
For now make do
For now two hearts
My trust in the love of ours.

i walk into my room
wondering if your image will be there
shutting the door in dismay
a knock will come soon i think
listening for that voice or some footsteps
passing through the halls where we met
a year's change but no one can tell
i pulled my blinds all the way up
so every time you walk in the building you'd see my light on
my window a lighthouse in those dark & windy nights
at times it feels your right outside
listening for an indication
curious to know what my life is like now
and despite all this
my outlet of weakness
i'm proud to say
i'm doing great.
i hope you are too.

if i told the truth
would you be mad
think less of me
refuse to speak
blame yourself
become insecure
believe it wasn't true
or learn to forgive?

if i told the truth
would you be happy
think more of me
change your tone
pinch yourself
become comfortable
believe it was always true
or am i fantasizing?

if i told you the truth
would you be turned off
think i was needy
wonder why i messaged you
recluse yourself
become a stranger
believe we were never true
or would you agree?

if i told you the truth
would you reflect about it
think i can't be read
message me about your day
change yourself
become more mature
encourage me to visit
believe i am different
or is that even possible?

i saw a ******* the tv
yesterday
she was attractive and
kind
had some sort of
glow
a pep in her
step
a glimpse of good
spirit
or at least that's what i
saw
through the box of bright
color

why do i think about
her
why not a girl i already
know
one that shares
memories
with me and cares about my
health
why do i spend
time
looking at this
screen
at so many
screens
so dependent on these
pixels
which take up the
space
both inside and
out
of my life & those around
me

i saw a ******* the tv
yesterday
and it was
nice

i never wrote you a poem
though sometimes i wish i did
those words you find to perfectly detail
every single spec of feeling
another body to feed off of
and awake by her side

i wonder about those moments now
those words never found
no pages left to turn
another night to myself
speaking now as an aside

i wrote you a poem
but i guess it's too late

your love is the fearless life in your eyes
your love is the feeling of your head on my shoulder
your love is the one song i get to play on my way over
your love is the christmas charm carried in your step
your love is the late night silence we often bask in
your love is the burning kiss that leaves me gasping for air
your love is the impulsive trust simply crafted in me
your love is the perpetual hug that keeps me coming back for more

Sometimes I wonder why
I lose the pen & paper
the focused rattle of key strokes
thinking about that next rhyme
or word pattern or wordplay
or whatever I want to write about...
why that all goes away when I'm content

Take it for what it's worth,
poetry, to me, is something to fall back on.
And somehow that's ok... normal
I wonder where those words go sometimes

i think it's been worse before
different girl, different time
though i couldn't say for sure

it didn't happen before
different feeling, different places
though i wouldn't say we've changed

now it's hard thinking about before
different mindsets, different worlds
what did i say that made it alright?

i still go back that moment before
we laid still
saying nothing

the difference between you and me
-at least from what i know-
is that you moved on
and i'm still there
on that couch
in that house
tv left on
storms sounding
shadows merged
eyes closed
taking everything in
enjoying your presence
and wondering
how this all happened
what might come
and who i should tell
about this embrace
and some disgrace
from our connection
not sure who could understand
what we had
in that time and place
some sort of feeling
an echo into the night
a glimpse of insight
into each others' minds
two worlds collide
into the silence
that we shared
no compare
until just now
when i realized how
i'm still there
lying there
lying every day
lying for something
i know not to be true

sometimes it's hard to tell
what music reinforces
and what it creates
inside the mind
or heart
a part
of which
one is more
exposed in the
moment, though that
may change from
note to note
depending
on the
state of
mind i find
myself in

your embrace
unexpected, to say the least
had me embraced
on these cheeks
and on those lips
i couldn't stop
i lost control
control for what?
i didn't know.