Wednesday, 14th of February 2018, 7.00 pm,
" breaking news, a mass-shooting happened today in Florida, American authorities are calling this the worst school shooting in U.S.A's history "
6 minutes and 20 seconds,
That's all it took,
17 confirmed dead,
15 injured,
Countless more lives ruined,
All in under 10 minutes,
No parent should ever have to hug their child,
So tight,
Just because it might be the last time they'll ever say goodbye,
No kid should ever have to be afraid of their school hallway,
Or be afraid of who's standing in the classroom doorway,
No kid should ever wonder if this day will be their last,
And no parent should ever have to bury their kid,
Six feet out of their reach,
So this is for Scott,
And for Alyssa,
For Martin,
And for Nicholas,
Not forgetting Aaron,
This goes to Chris,
And Luke,
For Cara,
And for Gina,
Joaquin and Alaina,
Meadow, Helena, and Alex,
Carmen and Peter,
You are all in our hearts,
Let's face it,
The Floridian community of Douglas,
Will never go back to " normal "
So, Washington? Trump?
Riddle us this?
When is this going to be added to your list of " proud American traditions "?
There are too many heavy hearts,
Too many dark days,
Too much chaos and confusion,
For this to be swept under the carpet again,
Just like the last time,
We weren't even a quarter of the way into 2018,
Yet there had already been over 30 mass-shootings since the beginning of January,
So here's to the people who aren't accepting the truth,
Who are too " confused " to realize what's going on,
For the people who haven't woken up to the fact,
That there were unidentified bodies,
Sitting cold in that school for over 24-hours,
And do not tell me I am too young to know what I'm talking to you about,
I stand alongside Emma Gonzalez and the hundreds of young people across the globe,
This isn't just for our lives,
This is for everyone's lives,
Since when did " don't shoot children " become such a controversial statement?
Since when did school safety become a debatable, two-sided matter?
So I will join my fellow marchers,
And yell loudly and unapologetically,
Until they hear our voices,
In the words of Emma Gonzalez,
Adults like it when we have strong test scores,
But not when we have strong opinions,
We are Marching For Our Lives,
And this is our legacy.

She thought she knew herself better than anyone,
The hours she spent,
Stood in front of the mirror,
Picking new masks to hate every second,
Of every minute, of every hour, of every day,
She thought there was nothing more to her,
The blotchy skin and chewed fingernails,
The tired eyes,
Reflecting the sleepless nights- the morning tears,
She thought she was worth nothing.
One night the stars sent him to her,
She still sees him as a gift
So delicate and fragile,
One mistake and you’d slip through her fingers
Gone. To someone who deserves him.
You unfurled galaxies in her eyes,
Flowers in her mind,
And feelings in her veins,
You breathed new life into her old lungs,
Sang promises into her ear,
Filling her head with the thought of him.
He has hold of her heart,
As though it was precious to him,
But she knows better than anyone if he'd let it go,
then Darling, so would she.
But do you believe in soulmates?
She did,
She just thought there isn’t one for her,
I mean who could reach her soul?
Its sharp, jagged edges,
Torn and shredded,
It’s constantly dripping bright watercolour onto the white canvas,
How could anyone be hers,
Without being stained or marked,
Permanently,
Forever.

So, you're a girl?
Welcome to the 21st century,
Welcome to a society that prioritizes our physical appearance over our actual personalities,
It turns out that these days we're only really good for three things,
To be faithful and devoted wives,
To be supermums,
Or to be on the arm of a rich old man,
I don't know about you but the last time I checked that job was reserved for a Rolex?

I'm done being told that I was made from Adam's rib,
My body is made up of the same elements that lionesses are built from,
Three-quarters of me are the same kind of water that beats rocks to rubble, wears stones away to nothing,
My DNA translates into the same 20 amino acids that wolf genes code for,
So don't you dare come at me with those " well, women are just the weaker *** " lies,
Our bodies alone have sunken ships and started wars,
We are anything but weak.

So here's my guide to being a 21st-century woman,

1: Don't believe them when they say that beauty is everything because it is not. Frida Kahlo didn't bat her eyelashes at the canvas and then there was a masterpiece. Joan of Arc and Grace O'Malley didn't make people cower at their feet because they had read an article called " 20 things women should never do on a first date "

2: Don't ever let them dictate your looks or what you do with your body, it's your choice. They profit off of our insecurities, so don't give them that power of you.

3: Do not listen to them when they sing to you that age-old melody " go for gold and be a winner, sell yourself to the highest bidder ", you do not need to sell your body to be successful.  You are good enough without a rich man to say that.

How do I put into words the way you made me feel when you first started loving me?
The way you would say my name gave me butterflies,
It dripped off your tongue like honey,
How you understood all my tics and quirks like they were just a second language to you,

All my smiles were found in your eyes,
Alice through the looking glass,

You painted murals onto my skin and then proclaimed me to be holy,
You would say " us " as if it meant " amen ",
You spoke like a pastor,
And you looked at me like you were god,
You spoke vigorously,
You often spat out words a whole lot faster than your brain could process,
It was a sign of being a prodigy apparently,

I wished so hard for you to stop painting me with love in every line that you wrote,

I'd say your name over and over again just to see what shape it would make in my mouth,
What your name tasted like,
What you tasted like...

At the risk of sounding like a scratched vinyl,
I still love you,
I still love you,
I still love...
The way you made me feel,

You said that " you can't expect a sunset to admire you back ",
But how can the moon admire the sun when they were never meant to be,
Always passing each other by,

You always called me " your Icarus ",
Because despite being told I couldn't,
I would fly desperately towards my dreams,
Sometimes to my detriment,

I would call you " my sun ",
Not because you were too beautiful to even look at,
But because even when people warned me that my wings would melt if I flew towards you,
I didn't heed their warnings, so my wings dripped wax all down my back,
Scorched marks of waxy feathers seared into my burning skin.

There was forgiveness in every breath of you,
I was a mere mortal,
Who you saved from sin,
Allowing me to drink the holy nectar from your lips,
Letting me bathe in the sacred oils that pooled in the depths of your collarbone,
I needed someone to show me my place in all of this,
And there you were,

I spent a lot of time watching you and you spent a lot of time loving being watched.
You were the first red-wine¬-drinking, pretty-boy rocker in skinny jeans who'd ever carried me off of my feet,

I saw something in your eyes,
And I think you saw something in mine,

I cracked open my ribs and spilt my guts,
All for you,
I'd have followed you to the graveyard,
All you would have had to say was " please ",

You could make me feel like a giddy schoolgirl,
Whenever you said that you " loved me ",
You loved me for all my broken jigsaw pieces,
You loved me for all my flaws,

You gathered up all the shattered shards of my broken glass heart,
And helped me to sticky tape it back together again,
You gave me the space to open up,
And as we sat there,
Sifting through the memories,
I'd find an embarrassing one,
As soon as I'd show it to you,
You would say " I'd have done it too ",

It's 11:26 on a Monday night,
And I haven't stopped thinking about you since your mum said that you got a new boyfriend,
And I know that we separated on good terms,
And I know that I shouldn't be jealous,
And I know that I should just appreciate that you have someone who loves you,
I should just stop being so petty and just be happy for you,

But... I can't,
Can't stop picturing you with him,
Laughing at all his jokes,
Singing all the songs you used to sing to me,
Wrapping your arms around him in the same way you used to do with me,

You once told me that " whenever it rains, it aches ",
And I never understood that phrase until now,
It's nice to know that the sky cries too sometimes,

What went south with us?
The world used to be at our feet,
Now it feels as if someone has dropped it onto my shoulders,
When did " I love you " become an apology?

Whenever I'd start blabbering about something,
You would never get bored,
Just say that you " loved me ",
And flash me a smile,
A toothy, devilish Tiger's grin,

I could sit and watch you dance for days,
Your hips swaying like tidal waves,
Curving like mermaids tails,
The whole time we were together,
I was never really one for dancing,
To you, it was like redemption,
You said that music made you " feel alive ",

I don't know what it is but I miss them,
I think it was something in their eyes when I kissed them,

I always doubted religion,
But I found god in a field on a cold September night,

It took you over a year to say that you loved me,
Nevertheless, those words still tasted like holy water to me,
I spent the next week,
Churning those words over and over in my head,
Like clothes in a tumble drier,

Today I feel like all of the wedding dresses donated to charity shops,
Today I feel like a chest full of heartache,
And a mouthful of broken promises,

Your name was the only thing which made the alphabet matter to me,
Counting out the syllables of your name,
Like " Hail Marys "

Your body, spread-eagle across my mattress,
Like a motorway overpass,
The comforting hum of your breath,
Buried deep within your chest,
Like a subway train pulling into the station,
Your eyes, burnt-out neon signs,
You were my haven, sanctuary city,

We'd take long walks in the rain together,
Hiding your hands in oceans of pockets,
You were my tsunami,
You broke down all my walls,

Little did I know, you were about to start making " I love you " sound like a schoolyard chant.

Darlyn Cristabel Cordova-Valle hadn't seen her mother since she was one,
She came to the U.S to see her mother, she was hospitalized not long after she arrived. Her mother requested for her to be released, the government denied her request.
Darlyn died in U.S government custody on September 29th 2018 age 10.

Jakelin Amei Rosemary Caal Maquin liked to climb trees. She jumped when her father told her that she could come to the U.S with him.
She thought she might get her first toy; she'd only just got her first pair of shoes.
Jakelin died in U.S government custody on December 8th 2018 age 7.

Felipe Gomez Alonzo was excited to come to the U.S. he thought he might get a bicycle, his parents let him make the trip after he got upset that his dad would leave without him.
Felipe died in U.S government custody on Christmas Eve 2018 age 8.

Juan de Leon Gutierrez was a shy, good student. When he had to miss school to help his dad harvest coffee, he'd always run to catch his teacher so he could explain his absence.
Juan died in U.S government custody on April 30th 2019 age 16.


Wilmer Josue Ramirez Vasquez's mother brought him to the U.S to receive medical treatment for a condition which left him unable to walk.
Wilmer died in U.S government custody on May 14th 2019 age 2.

Carlos Gregario Hernandez Vasquez loved playing the piano and bass, his family called him Goyito. He had eight brothers and sisters. One of them, Edgar, had special needs. Carlos came to the U.S to help support Edgar.
Carlo died in U.S government custody on May 30th 2019 age 16.
These are only some of the documented deaths,
In 25 years,
It's estimated that over 10,000 people have lost their lives at the U.S-Mexico border.

If you're awake at 4 am,
You're either in love or lonely,
And I'm not quite sure which once is worse,
The thud of a broken heart,
Singing out from inside my chest,
My lungs gulping down fresh air like water,
In some desperate attempt to refresh them,
I can hear the static cracking back and forth in my veins.

It's all just static,
Stupid broken T.V static,
" Can't find the right channel " sort of static,
" Can't find the right ******* place to fit in " sort of static,
That thoughtless, mindless, blank-brained, numb-to-the-world sort of static,
It hurts just as much to feel nothing at all.

We turn our pain into poetry because anything that hurts this much,
Has to mean something to someone,
We don't use diaries,
Because those are meant for secrets, and we have none,
We let them spill out onto paper resembling bloodied bandages,
Because to be an artist is to bleed without the use of a sharp instrument,

We romanticise our heartbreak like it is the only lover we will ever know,
All of our love,
It is written into confessions,
That we will never speak,

We dance with devils and we are all gods,
We play a constant game of catch-up with the sun,
Then we dance until the stars come down from the sky,

We dissect ourselves until we shatter like glass,
Yet we get so confused when we break so easily,
We are the poets who write our poems onto the backs of pizza boxes,

The artists who sketch their thoughts onto bus stop walls,
We are the misfits, the broken and the bruised,
But we pushed through,
When society didn't give us our space,
We carved one out and called it home.

They say children should be seen and not heard,
So watch out world because we are spitting riots,
Say " beautiful " and point to your bodies,
Say " confident " and wear it like a dress or a suit,
Say " strong " and " unbreakable " and show the whole world what you are made of,
We are the poisoned youth,
Products of a " look-at-me ", self-absorbed society,
Our desperate obsessions with attention,
You blame us for our digital addiction,
Yet it is you who sing to us that bitterly dishonest fallacy, like some sacred hymn, giving us a fear of rejection,
You taught us that the only place we will ever feel safe,
Is curled up within these skins which we have been taught to hate,
Why should we respect a system which has no respect for us?
This is it,
We will be seen, and we will be heard.