I hate that you're always on my mind,
That my last wish would be to be with you
And have our bodies once more intertwined.

I hate that during every instant,
Thoughts of you run through my mind.
We were once so close, but now so distant.

I hate myself more than I hate you,
But most of all, more than anything else,
I hate the fact that I would've given up everything for you.

I like to watching my blood
As it oozes out of my veins.
I like to watch myself suffer,
At so much, as the sound of your name.

I watch the blade
While it enters my skin.
The skin splits open,
And the steel knife sinks in.

My veins open up,
Like the Red Sea,
And blood pours out
All over me.

The more I stab,
The more numb I feel,
Good thing I have a knife
Beside me at every meal.

The deadness of my body and soul
Is quite clear to see.
I like stabbing myself because it feels good
Compared to the pains you've caused me.

I fell so hard for you,
And you just let me fall.
I was in love with you,
I was in love with it all.

From your first "hello",
To your last "good night",
I was in love with you,
And it all felt right.

Looking back;
I knew I was in love,
You were my last thought before sleeping,
And my first when I woke up.

The way you smiled,
And talked, and walked,
The way you held my hand,
And got us lost in the dark.

It was all perfect,
Just right, to say the least,
I couldn't imagine my life without you,
But it all happened so fast and those moments ceased.

I miss the way you looked into my eyes,
And how you kissed me good night.
I miss the love we once shared,
The love that always felt so right.

And now you got my heart hurting,
From spending all night with those memories.

You will never be successful,
     Face it.
Failure is in your destiny,
     Always has been,
          Always will.

If I had one wish,
Would I be with you,
Or would I have left you,
Would I hold you close,
Or would I push you away,
Would I pick you up,
Or would I be the one who knocked you down?
If I just had one wish,
Would I love you,
Or would I despise you,
Would I be honest,
Or would I lie to you,
Would I be with you,
Or would I be anywhere else?
If I had one wish,
I would still be lost,
Not because thats what I want,
But because thats where I am;
I am lost without you and lost with you.

I cant wait to be gone,
So I never have to see you again.
I can remove you from my life,
And delete you from my brain.

Your existence ****** me off,
Because you've made me suffer for years,
And meanwhile, you've moved on
And never once shed a tear.

How could you be so selfish and rude,
So self absorbed to not give a ****.
Hurting people that you love,
The very people that love you.

I cant wait to be gone,
So I never have to see you again.

When I close my eyes,
I can feel you beside me.
When I sit in utter silence,
I can hear your heart beating.
When I breathe in,
It's you that I smell.
And when I smell your jacket that I still wear,
I can taste your lips on mine.
And when I taste your lips,
It sends shivers down my spine.

I miss you.