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Baylee Jun 2013
Everyday she got yelled at,
Though she never knew why,
But nothing ever changed,
And she started to cry.
The shouting got worse,
She'd hold back tears; she'd try,
But everyday got harder,
And she started to cry.
Thee bruises she had,
Made others wonder why,
She kept to herself,
And she started to cry.
All the screaming and yelling,
She was lonely and shy,
With no one to call out to,
She started to cry.
Everyday got worse,
She wanted to die,
She hated going home,
And she started to cry.
Broken bones, scratches, bruises, and scars,
Everyone saw them, but no one asked why,
She had been so strong but was now so weak,
And once in heaven, she no longer cried.
Baylee Jun 2013
I feel worthless,
Like a body without bones,
I'm just a puddle of useless parts,
And my voice is just a drone.
No matter what I do,
Something good or bad,
I get yelled at regardless,
By both my mom and dad.
I get yelled at everyday,
And I cry every night,
But I'm too weak to put up a fight,
When I know it's just going to happen again;
Light or dark, it does not matter,
The yelling just never stops,
I wonder if it's all my fault anyway.
I need to know before my heart pops or bursts from this pressure.
As if school isn't already hell,
Just crawling through the hallways between the bells,
Harsh kids with even harsher words,
I shouldn't let it bother me, but it really hurts.
After years of antagonizing, the pain builds up,
And if I'd been drinking this suffering, It'd fill ten million cups.
This is just an under exaggeration,
Because the pain is worse than I can describe,
I don't want to live on this earth or have this life,
Pains that bring up the thought of suicide.
Baylee May 2013
As I sit there on the floor of my shower, Letting the water that's pouring over me turn from hot to chilling cold, I hope the water can hide my tears. I hope it will wash away the faint pink lines that cover my arm. But most of all I hope the hours spent curled up, there, on the shower floor will wash away the pain.
I don't mind seeing those faint pink lines across my arm every so often, They help to remind me of all the battles I've fought, Though they are the remnants of the battles that I lost. Those battles have shaped me physically and emotionally. But those battles brought along struggle, Struggles that people who aren't facing them don't understand, Impossible to explain to someone who hasn't been through it all already, Struggles that bring along pain worse than any physical pain imaginable.
That is the pain I wish to be cleansed of.
Baylee May 2013
This person is confusing,
They're difficult to read,
Difficult for me to understand,
This person is me.
I don't know what I strive for,
If I did, I wouldn't know why,
I confuse myself a lot,
More than half the time.
Most people have goals,
Or something to look forward to,
I just live in the moment,
And I always have something to do.
I never understand me,
I don't think anyone does,
People just pretend,
Their reason, "just because".
I have no reasons for anything,
I don't ever know "why";
Just one day I'll be living,
And the next I'll die.
Baylee May 2013
I was falling for you,
I was falling in love,
You were so perfect,
The kind we all dream of.
I felt weightless around you,
I felt too light by your side,
Being with you gave me a high,
But you'd bring be back down with arms open wide.
I was blind to your imperfections,
Things others saw with ease,
Maybe someone could have shown me,
And maybe you wouldn't have left me with these;
A bunch of little pieces,
Pieces of my heart,
My heart was a tower of cards,
And you made it fall apart.
So was I in love with you?
Without a doubt,
Did you, though, love me too?
No, you had spent it all, and you were out.
I had an overabundance of love for you,
You however, did not as well comply,
I said I loved you and meant it,
But when you said "I love you" it was just another lie.
Baylee May 2013
She sets herself apart,
Though not with higher respect,
Sometimes she gets up to average,
But settles for the level of regret.
She does not want your sympathy,
She just wants someone to listen,
But she can't find the words to speak to anyone
Even those whose hearts glisten
With a passion to help her.
She is a lost cause,
A case that can't be solved,
She has a negative mindset and intentions that she needs to be resolved
By someone, who understands what it's like to be so alone,
While still among many others whose lights in their hearts have shone for them, She needs that light.
She needs someone who can help her to make sense of it all,
But no words can describe her feelings or why she has them,
But she needs to tell someone what's going on
Before it eats her alive,
Before she explodes,
Before she dies inside.
Nothing in this world can show what it's like,
Living every day without light,
And living life without nights
Because she doesn't  sleep much,
If ever at all,
She seems to be losing touch with the world
As it slowly keeps turning from Spring to Fall.
She closes herself off
And shuts herself down,
She shuts everyone out and let's no one around
To help her,
Though inside she's screaming "SOMEBODY HELP ME",
It's impossible to just let all of it go, and
She can't set herself free.
She is tired of fighting so hard to stay strong,
Now the only strong thing about her is the stream down her face,
Everything in her life was dreadful or going wrong,
And the only thing that could possibly help is God's grace.
Nothing seemed to please her more than the thought of leaving this Earth,
It seemed to be all she talked about;
Her only thought since birth,
Or at least as far back as she could remember,
A thought which seemed like an ember with such high potential to start a spark;
A spark that could become a fire,
Growing farther and higher that could burn down this whole world,
This place we call our home,
Burning the world, however, might do justice to those like her, who feel so alone.
Baylee May 2013
My head is pounding,
My mind is screaming-- let me out,
The tears and the pain,
That I've kept inside and told no one about.

Secrets I hold dear to myself,
Secrets that no one else, can know of,
The biggest thing to bring me pain,
Must be deprivation of love.

Words rumble through my mind,
Thoughts and experiences roam about,
The voice inside my head keeps screaming,
It makes me want to rip my hair out!

What is right?
And what is wrong?
Does anyone care about me?
This can't be where I belong.

So i'll wait,
For something to change,
Something that matters,
To change all by itself because I can't,
Because this is not where I belong.
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