When
the seemingly intangible dream
finally reaches out to me,
it's persuasive fingers
will wrap themselves
around every inch of my body
and soul.
Its tender power
releasing the emotions inside.

Something
will take life
in our hands
as we touch,
and awaken the beauty
that sleeps within.

Deep down
inside me
wild stallions run through fields of clouds,
not these languid horses
in dull,
sunless heat.

Solitude
cleanses my mind
and relieves my tension.

This room is my sanctuary
protecting me from the outside world.
It seems as though
nothing  can harm me here
and I am at peace.

Then,
when I step back out
into the hallway,
it's as if there's a motorway
outside my room
and I'm about to walk into traffic.

Sitting here
once again,
gazing into an empty space.

Staring at the same four walls,
slowly watching the sun
bleed through the curtains like bleach.

The walls are closing in
and I feel like I can’t breathe.

I know that I over-think things,
always feeling like I have to analyse
everything
and everyone.
Always searching for answers
and the truth
behind inner peace.

Sometimes,
from the corner of an eye,
I catch myself watching the circus in the bar mirror.
It’s lonely
always being on the outside
looking in,
but life’s too short
and I’m no longer so impatient for love,
like a spoiled and demanding child.

For the best part
of the past five years
I’ve managed to keep most of my demons at bay.
Now,
as surely as day turns to night,
their ugly heads have slowly risen up
threatening to take over,
but I’m sick of being a pawn in their game.

Buried feelings
creeping up ,
un-noticed.
Hiding under the radar
‘til it’s too late
and all consuming.

I miss you too
but it still hurts too much
to be around you.

The thrill
has turned to sadness
and I can’t believe
that I ever expected anything else.

If only
I could take back
everything I said.

Kept
my big mouth shut
and buried my feelings deeper.

I always want
what I haven’t got
and I want it now.
I’m not sure exactly what it is
that I’m looking for
but I know that I want it.

Everyday
I wish
I’d made less mistakes,
and everyday
I wish
that I was strong enough to make more,
but I’m too scared
of getting hurt again
to take a chance

Regrets
ride on a wave
of loneliness
and broken dreams,
and I’m holding out for an extraordinary love
to brighten this ordinary life.

I think too much
and need time to complicate things
so that I can make them impossible.
I long for love and affection
but worry that I’ve spent too long
trying to be invisible

Perhaps
I’m just the selfish son
of a selfish man
and maybe
I need a hobby
so that I can think less about me.

Sometimes
it all just seems
so pointless.
Feeling as temporary,
as summer holidays
and the promises in love’s sweet kiss.

Dreams
punctuate my restless nights
and in those precious moments
while I am sleeping,
my life is on hold.

But the minute I am awake
and the sun is leering
through the gaps in the curtains,
It’s suddenly all real again
and I just want to spend the day in bed.

Under the covers,
longing
for the sweet oblivion of sleep
and the comfort of dreams.