Hatred seeps through vicious eyes,
Love like a dream lost forever,
hearts forgotten together,
an ecstacy of broken sadness,
glitter trembles in minds refracted,
Broken tension forgets itself,
lost in the hands of the weary,
never safe in the caress of sin,
for poetry cannot be formed from chapped lips
your fingers ache as words relapse
breath forgets to fill your lungs
your place is gone here,
life begotten through glass shards
piercing the skin to your bones
small drops of crimson leakage
trickle from the crevices of your body,
the pain is unstable and placid
as they tear your heart out
with their bare hands....

How provocative can I get?
People always tell me
My brain and my mouth don't connect.
I have a good head on my shoulders
Or so they think
And an unlucky case of
"Foot-in-mouth" syndrome.

The awkward first impressions are the best.
I'm pretty good with adults
As long as they can hold a conversation with me
Long enough to break the ten foot-thick ice.

But oh, I'm smart
That's what they call it now?
******* my life up
Throwing everything that has been given to me away
For a boy, a dream, a utopia?
That's smart?
I think not.

Sexcapades never go so swimmingly
With men ranging in age
A mouth like a cannon on me
Spewing curse words around authoritative figures
Never leaving anything to imagination
Being too blunt
Speaking first, thinking later?

They call me provocative
As if it is a problem.
Well, if I'm a problem
Then count me in.

There's nothing, nothing left to say or do
You look through a window to the world outside
and watch another twelve inches of snow fall to the ground
Cursing Mother Nature or turning this into a blessing

Here I am waiting to see my tulips sprout
Instead, they are being blanketed with snow
There's nothing else left for me to do but to go inside
log on and read other people's thoughts :
so sad their mental state
so sad.

For two people
Who have dealt with
Eating disorders
We talk about food
More than anyone
I have ever met.

I  shrouded
my shame
behind blacked
out
sunglasses
and spiked my
lies with
deep
red wine .

Have you ever been a disappointment?
Feeling the sadness crawling up your spine
Dissipating like a disease
Following you like a shadow
A tremor in your voice arises
As they try to crack you like a code
Break you like glass
Have you ever been a disappointment?
They ask you questions
About your rebellion spree
You lie through your trembling teeth
They don't love you, they never did
All you are to them is your past.
Have you ever been a disappointment?
You're not size two
Your smile's a little too crooked
And your hair isn't straight
The boys, they don't notice you
And if they do, they make fun of you
My middle name is rejection
And it rolls off their tongues quite nicely
Have you ever been a disappointment?
I have

"What are your parents like?"
He asks me, seriously as he plays the piano
I let the sweet noise embrace me
Before answering
"My mother is quiet
But she is one of the most caring people I know."
He smiles that radiant grin
"You must get it from her."*
I shoot him a sarcastic smirk
And he knows exactly what that means
"And my father..."
Hm, what should I say about Daddy Dearest?
Family problems aren't exactly a turn on
Should I outline the fact
About how he is a big reason I began to purge?
Should I broach the topic
Of my fear of gaining weight and eating sugar?
Because he tells me I will get fat
And acts like nobody can love a fat girl.
Should I bother mentioning
That he holds my sister on a pedestal
And sees me as a lost cause?
So I respond, calmly and sincerely
"He's great."
And we laugh, enjoying my "perfect" life
Marching into our pseudo-sunset
As I hope secretly, silently
That he never asks about my family
Again.