It happens, like drifting, like falling, and her words calming and refreshing like the gust of strong breeze in the month of June,

Take me way, from the polluted world, this world so selfish, so eager to take your love like industrialists acquiring as much of land as they can,

But never wearing heart their on their sleeve, or like cutting farmlands and building casinos on them rearing greed,

No, no you’re not beautiful, look in the mirror; can u see the innocence and honesty?

That you lost to thousand lies written on texts, spoken on phones, lies gradually building and swirling like tornadoes breathed into eyes, eyes that once loved you and glowed when you spoke

I have lost the innocence, in the hurry to grow up, speaking of things and words that appear mature to me, but knowing that the meaning of these words is lost to me, for my heart yearns to hope again,

Hopes to learn to trust again, to believe that love is all that we need. But all of these are lies.

The growing up is painful and so is living in this world which accurately teaches you math’s and physics, but only leaves you to calculate the demonic deeds you do,

And how your are only surrounded by ghosts of what used to be honest mass of skin and bones.

And, and if your are truly lucky and may have showered love on your close ones, showers like that of July bursting and lighting up the earth with buds of belief of survival  and loved the way tree roots are loyal to the soil with your past lovers

Then, it happens like lightening in deserts, all your fears drown but a new kind of fear also crashes against your body,

It happens like that, you can’t breathe without them but then again they are the only ones that can steal your breath from your lungs by kissing someone else,

But they mend your broken wing of lost trust, and show you again what it feels like to swing back and forth on the rainbow colored swings in the afternoon rain, with your hair flying everywhere and your heart finally feeling free of this burdening world,

**And they show you how, love is all you need.  And that isn’t a lie

Terrified, he stood there
Lame like he’d been shot
And taken out again

Horrified, I laid there
For days and days, I stayed
Two wounded soldiers
One cause, one fight

Out of the right
Into the wrong
Fading the night
Into the dawn
It’s like opposites all over
With me fighting your battles
It’s like you and I need closure
From this disaster

We broke our spirits
No prior knowledge was needed
You practice what you preach
And I’m practicing empathy
In the worst way

Out of the right
Into the wrong
Fading the night
Into the dawn
It’s like opposites all over
With me fighting your battles
It’s like you and I need closure
From this disaster

Hello, I’m outdated again
I’m sorry that you let me in
I guess it wasn’t worth it
Or was it?

Out of the right
Into the wrong
Fading the night
Into the dawn
It’s like opposites all over
With me fighting your battles
It’s like you and I need closure
From this

Out of the right
Into the wrong
Fading the night
Into the dawn
It’s like opposites all over
With me fighting your battles
It’s like you and I need closure
From this disaster

We’re longing for closure, for freedom
From this disaster

I'm a wreck
I can't be alone
Yet it's all that I want sometimes

I break
So fast and so swiftly
I'll take no one with me
And yet I am wishing
Someone would save me

This time I won't lift you
With my slow and shaking hands
It's imperfect, yet wonderful still
The feeling of living for myself
And not you

I've tried to conform
So many times before
I've failed again and again

They'll love you for the moment
Then throw you back where you began

This time I won't lift you
With my slow and shaking hands
It's imperfect, yet wonderful still
The feeling of living for myself
And not you

We're so beautiful
When we're wasting away
We're so precious
When we're broken

And I pray
This won't take me from you
And I'll stay
Stay right here in loo of it all

This time I won't lift you
With my slow and shaking hands
It's imperfect, yet wonderful still
The feeling of living for myself
And not you

This time I won't lift you
With my slow and shaking hands
It's imperfect, yet wonderful still
The feeling of living for myself
And not you
Not him, not them
Just me

I can see the truth
Ever so clearly.
You blinded me before,
But they have shown me that
I am not at fault
I am not to blame
I was a child the first time
And the second
I was not thinking clearly
And you did not listen when I said
No.
I will not let your lies
Distort my mind, my being.
I have finally been set free
I have finally been disillusioned.

I came of age
as one of the
many young
knights who would
mature and become
Pirates.
Our kingdom
stretched from
the end of
the world along
the cliff
lined Pacific.
To the
low side of
Alma.
The sprawling
wild canyons
of 6th street,
to the railroad
tracks along
the waterfront.

Daring as we were
we drank straight
from the
bottle while
constantly
losing ourselves
beneath the
shadow of the
Owl.

Our friendship
was a brotherhood
and a hand shake
meant a hell
of alot more
than a greeting.

Black eyes and
stab wounds
worn like
medals earned
in battle.
The ******* was
white as bone
and the girls
were still as
fresh as the
Tangerines we
picked from
our neighbors
yards
in the summer.

The young Pirates
of those days took
all this Town
had to
give.
And even when
beaten down and
hungover.
The need to
experience still
fought on for
more.

The Armor
I wore in
those early
days was
youth.
And that armor
with stood
it all.

Youth can and will
endure many
things.
Almost all things.
All things
that
is but
time.

I find no luster in anything
And I thought bringing you back
Would bring meaning to my life again.
I would love you to the moon and back
If you would only let me.
But instead,
You left me hanging among the stars.

Clothes shed like old skins
Our feelings are left on the floor somewhere in between.
We will not stop, cannot stop
The smell of you makes my eyes sting
And your touch makes me melt.

Our lust burns like a cigarette
And love is the smoke that chokes us
Until we both black out.

In fact,
You bought me a pack of Marlboros that day
On your way to my house.
We sat on the deck intertwined
As I smoked my life away.

And now
I don't know what to feel
But it is better than feeling nothing at all.

Go ahead.
Remind me how much you love me
How much I mean to you.
How much you know I can change.
I would just love to hear your lies.

Or you can
Yell and scream
Tell me I'm fat
Tell me I'm selfish
Try to diagnose me every time I ***** up.
I would not be surprised.

Criticize me, I dare you.
It would not be the first time
And it certainly will not be the last.
Am I ruining your idea
Of a "perfect family"?
I hope I have sent it to its grave.

I wish you knew what you did to your child.
You made her afraid to open her mouth
Due to her fear of judgement.
There is no question
That you have played a role in her depression
As well as her eating disorder.
You have made her feel worthless.
You have made her feel like nothing but a number.
You have created a girl who is obsessed with perfection.
And the worst part is,
You don't even understand how bad it has gotten.

You do not know what I have been through.
A friend took advantage of me in a major way
While I was not in a proper state of mind.
But you would say that I should have been more careful,
That I should not have been sneaking around in the first place.
I wish I could tell you
That some days I just want to rip my skin off of my bones
Because I feel gross.

What he did to me was wrong,
But you would not see it that way.
I have a hard time convincing myself of the fact
That this should not have happened.
It is difficult for me not to blame myself
Or not to shut down
Because those who I have told continue to tell me I am overreacting
Or that I did something to lead him on.
I fear that you would do the same.

All I want
Is for you to say that I am alright
For once in my life.
I wish you would compliment me
Or tell me that you're proud
So maybe I could start to believe it, too.

Yes, your younger daughter is the perfect kid.
And we have both been brought up the same way.
But she has not had the experiences that I have had.
It is not fair for you to compare the two of us
As if I do not do it enough already.

So what can I say?
If I am going to drown,
Then let me drown.
Or if you can stand up on your own
Take responsibility for your role in this
Throw me a lifeline,
Then maybe I can be okay.
Maybe I can escape this cycle of destruction.

Meet me in
the park at
the edge
of the world.

After dark
when the Coyotes
and Feral Cats
rule.

Bring us a
bottle
and I'll
bring something
to smoke on.

We'll use it
all and talk about
nothing.

We'll quietly
wonder beneath
the silent,
blameless
night time sky.

And we'll
both do our
best
to forget
this week
that was..