to say
that I am invisible
would not do justice
to the fact
that you do not see me
and when you speak to me
your words are empty

to say
that I am useless
would not do justice
to the fact
that I do not try
and when you speak to me
my words are empty

to say
that I am meaningless
would not do justice
to the fact
that you do not enjoy me
and when you speak to me
your words are empty

to say
that I am lost
would not do justice
to the fact
that I do not want this
and when you speak to me
my words are empty

A first kiss is a deadly weapon
ours was nervous and in secret
a large dog making me sneeze
jumping over the SUV
because your stepdad can't park
and clinging to you
because he also can't drive
When you met my parents
on New Years, pictionary
we both yelled "anarchy"
and I will never not smile about that

I made you a playlist
with songs from every genre
each one tells a story
of love, hate, friendship, joy

I made you a playlist
with songs you hate
but they tell my story
and speak in an absence of words

I made you a playlist
with songs that saved me
the story of losing you
that you will never hear

I made you a playlist

Part of me
Is ready to run
Back to you
Part of me
Is desperate
To escape
Part of me
Is ripping
At the seams
Part of me
Wants to climb on the roof
And smoke a cigarette

When you’re trying
Every day
There’s always pressure
To do better
But you’re doing the best you can
Everyone wants the best for you
I would settle for less

When I can’t sleep
I climb up on the roof
And stare at the stars
I think about my past
I think about my future
The stars make me feel
Like I’m home
Even when I’m lost

I want to check on you
I want to ask about your day
I want to ask you over for coffee
I want to fall asleep in your arms
I want to remind you I exist
I'm going to sleep now