I need you
Right now
As I’m falling
Blindly flailing
Out of control
    Flashbacks
To painful lies
And scarlet lines
Sprawled open
My life is
No fairytale
Cover to cover
    We all have
Our own demons
To fight
Our own dreams
Tonight
Our own nightmares
Today

I need you
To heal me
Because I’m slipping
Too quickly
The ember lies
Are catching blaze
    I had to
Back far away
From that knife
That could end
    His life
But bring me
Down deeper
Past the hell
I face everyday

I need you
Tonight
Because these lips
So sealed tight
    Are cracking
And they’re bleeding
While my tears
Are drowning
Those dreams
     For my future

So, please
I need you
Hold me tight

I wanted to be the object of your affection
Instead I’ve become the standard
      of idealized perfection

shiny, blonde hair with skin tanned even
ruby red lips, baby blues
and that loving the life attitude

when what’s beneath the surface bubbles
these lips are so red because they bleed
from the silence they keep

eyes so blue from the ocean of tears
built up from the dark truth
      and wisdom of the years

skin tanned even in attempt
to hide the scars
showing what we really are

smile up front and always laughing
because those who look happy,
are happy… right?

I wanted to be the motion of change
Instead I’ve become the standard
      Ball and chain

Kept back from the past
Full of locked doors and dark closets
Stay strong now, hide all the scarlet

When what’s beneath the surface bubbles
Screaming a monster
To repay her troubles

Taking the blows from a father so dear
His embrace was so cold
      It filled her with fear

in bed she laid with a knife in her hand
daring the chance
to give in to the monster’s trance

well, the monster still lies underneath this bed
as she sits at her desk, drawing lines of red
now say ‘cheese’, everything’s alright

I wanted to be the reason for life
Instead I’ve become the standard
      Symbol of strife

She walks among these streets
So quiet and obsolete
As you look in her eyes and wonder
How the crashing waves pulled her under
                -neath this skin she wears too tight

Never pausing to take in a breath
Because time is all she has left
Those eyes travel deep as a hidden valley
carry more secrets than a pope in an alley
                -watching, trusting, never judging

Green, and blue, but mostly grey
Are the eyes that tell you, he will pay
Burdened with the past she never wanted
And stapled open with looks that haunted
                -while she saw nightmares in her wake

They smile with a force that holds
So stiff, she’s walked on like roads
But look a little close into her gaze
Wander past the fences that run for days
                -somewhere, you can find her

In a land where memories can fade
Run away with no “should I have stayed?”
Those lips so full can finally speak
Of the tragedy that floods her eyes for weeks
                -no more skies of grey

Crystal blue with no musk to darken
The story told will only lighten
No more glass to crawl and scratch the skin
Only a love that’s unleashed within
                -beauty, you are being saved

You **** me like a stripper
Then you **** me like a *****
But in the end you love me
While we’re rolling on the floor

You make me moan
And I make you roar
But also whisper you love me
And always know when I need more

You wrap your hands around my throat
And tell me to beg again
But your hands also caress me
And lips kiss me times ten

You tie me up and make me blind
And throw me across the room
But your eyes say that you love me
And my hearts love full-blooms

You turn me around and squeeze tight
And pull me by the hair
But I know our love is flawless
What would I do without you here?

I just keep getting up for the let down

What the **** is wrong with people in this town?

Telling you to be who you are

But then laughing about your hidden scars



When I was little?

I saw the TRUTH

I saw past the innocent years of my youth

And when you cried, I refused to back away

I will always be here, for you, here to stay



Now we play games

And hide behind walls of white lies

But can’t you see this past we just can’t deny?

I refuse to let go, I refuse to give in

Because in this life you’ve got two choices

                -Sink or swim



Well, I chose to keep going

And I choose to see past

Everything, that I let slip away too fast

This next shot I’m taking

Though my hands won’t stop shaking

I take aim, and squeeze these eyes tight

                [Swoosh]



I won’t fall tonight

I will keep these feelings right

-underneath this dress of armor

Keeping those out from my heart

Keep it locked up, keep it closed in

Don’t always follow what’s screaming from within



Block out those tiny voices- let them

Falter into whispers

Prevent your heart’s swooning by another mister

And when you look to the sky

Never, ever, close those bright blue eyes

Because baby, your love is just in disguise

I can’t write
These secrets won’t stop binding me tight
They keep getting tighter til my sight goes white


I just feel sick
Like I can’t stop swallowing all these thoughts
Drowning myself as my blood clots

My stomach aches
And I can’t keep down any food
Not even chocolate can fix my mood

My head spins
As I see you slowly fading away
When I always thought you’d be here to stay

My body falls
All these weights crushing me under
And pounding harder than the thunder

The tears won’t stop
And you know that I never cry
So why can’t you just answer, why?

I wanted to be Irreplaceable
Not just Smart and Beautiful

like a Van Gogh painting Starry night
a Range of motion you can’t Hold tight

Trace my every painterly stroke
hold too Tight ill only Choke

but as I walk out into those fields
I cast Away that armor and shield

and run straight to that Unclear Figure
who Pulls my hand off of that Trigger

Still, Life has become to me
I can’t say you will ever Clearly see

anything I put on My Canvas
until Long after I’m Buried with this

Beauty, in Painted layers, Deep
My final portrait is for You to Keep