when I was little
I Climbed a thousand trees
Ran through dark forests
and Scraped my knees
but I Picked myself up
Every Time I Fell Down
the Smile of my Youth
Turned everything Around

when I was a child
I saw people for the Truth
I saw in their eyes the Miles
of Hurt or Pain with No Proof
but what I Didn’t notice
was the Pain inside my heart
I didn’t understand this,
was Tearing me Apart

when I was a preteen
I started to like boys
I found out girls are mean
and that men Treat you like Toys
but even though They Hurt Me
I kept Pushing myself Forward
thought I could make them See
that everything was Backward

when I turned 16
I fell Down a Spiraled black hole
Tried to walk the streets Unseen
at least Never Showing what he Stole
Silently I Suffered
Blood falling Down my arms
my whole Reality was altered
but I set off no Alarms

when I turned _ _
I looked back on my life
and what I Realized
was how my back took that Knife
I’m definitely Happy
don’t deny me what I’m Feeling
but when my days go ******
I now know what He was Stealing

when I Grew Up
I was 14 years old
my Eyes had gotten Darker
and my blood was running Cold
my Innocence had been Stolen
while I tried to Find My Dreams
Instead those dreams were Broken
and No one heard my Screams

Mama always told me
Happy people have friends
So I smile smile smile
Laugh laugh, giggle
Until my stomach shakes
Forcing me to purge more laughter
                    Even Though my heart quakes

She said
People like happy people
So I brush up those pearly whites
Ruby up those pretty lips
And give people all my attention
Forcing myself to smile, smile
              Tears hanging in suspension

Mama always said smile
It’s the key to a healthy life
So I smile smile smile
Laugh laugh, choke
On all of my lifetime’s lies
Forcing those baby blues shut tight
                Nobody can read these eyes

She said
That we weren’t broken
So I never questioned her
Love glued together with expired gum
Was a family unscripted
Forcing a hug way too tight
              Cause daddy was enlisted

Mama always told me
It’s okay to cry
So I told her I had no reason
Smiled, and walked away
While then I laid inside my bed
Forcing myself to stay silent
             For to wake in the morning, I’d dread

She said
Someday, things will get better
So I wait and wait anxiously
And laugh, and laugh, and choke
On all of my lifetime’s lies
Forcing these baby blues shut tight
           Nobody can read these eyes

my Nightmares wake me Screaming
out of Fear or strength or anger I don’t know
         I Cut his Throat
So why isn’t my stomach Squealing?

the Nightmares Shake me deeply
as I Sweat and Toss and Whip through
         I just Broke his arm
So why isn’t my body Gangly

These Nightmares Quake within me
Crying and Screaming I Shout
         Today I got him Point Blank
only difference is,
                                  this time, I Woke Up.

***** money speaks for itself
As our secrets stack higher than towers
And our eyes hungry, devour

***** honeys sit on the shelf
‘Til their broken down without power
And their eyes hungry, devour

***** bodies, are you yourself?
Their breaking down our armor
And all eyes hungry, devour

I.
Secrets Erupting
Silently pouring from me
Volcanoes can ****




II.
Lava burns to dust
as my world quickly quakes
and turns to Black Stone




III.
You can Dig me up
a thousand years my Future
to find out my Past

Darling, where has the daylight gone
I see you stumbling down those streets
and see the corners where you meet
Tell me, what is really wrong

Twinkle, twinkle like a star
as you slowly fade away in the sky
Inhale deep to get you high
Tell me, where you really are

Falling, till the meteor Crashes
Down on those knees tonight
what is wrong and what is Right
Tell me, where’d you get those gashes

Blacken, as midnight turns about
Left by yourself with no one to Help
No one to even hear you yelp
Screaming, Screaming, let me out

The moon looks with a broken eye
Isn’t it supposed to shine?
                Full and bright
While the sea also stares as black as night
With barely a ripple
                No blue in sight

The forest sleeps so silently
Where have all the songbirds gone?
                Singing loudly
But this silence screams softly
With stunning spells
                We hear unconsciously

The mountains peak so high
Can we ever reach the top?
                Instead we fall
Through sharp rocks we crawl
Begging for freedom
                From these prison walls