An million times I’ve replayed it this moment in my head

Picked apart trying to see when it began
The scream was piercing, it woke me from my sleep
But it seemed easy At the time,
One of laughter and fun
But I guess that was the last string of innocent remaining
Jolted by the shock of what was about to see next
The one who was there when my father left
The one who was there through the bullies, just you and me against the word.
Forever and always your little girl
You where the protector from all my childish fears
But now here you are convulsing on the stairs and I don’t know what to do.
Slow motion now, time comes to a stop
I’m frozen for what seems like eternity in that one spot
Grow up now
Call the ambulance
Grow up now
Save your sister from this terror
Grow up now
It’s not your time to breakdown
Call everyone
Tell them your world’s fallen apart
The guest in my house is now just another chore
Cook dinner
Take them through a city I don’t even know
Then fly them home
white walls and clean sheets is the only thing I come to know,
She forgets who I am
The memories forgotten, the only thing keeping our existence
40years of life was supposed to be a celebration
Turned out just a sad balloon with an auntie crying on my shoulder
Grow up now
Everything I knew is gone
Your eyes are lost
All the things we’ve seen, all the world’s we’ve explored
Her light was no longer lit
Her eyes are nothing, just an empty shell
Time never seemed to catch up
The hell in my heart never never seem to stop
Because when you came home, your eyes never did
The pain would not end
Our relationship we could not mend
The anger takes hold and I can’t seem to let the past go
It’s not your fault, it’s out of your control
But it’s out of mine to
My haunted future
Because I’m sitting here dwelling on this past
How long can this hell last

I have to much faith, and even whe im told im being a fool I don’t listen because I have faith in you

And so many times you’ve let me down, to the point where im begging you just to come around

Just to be my friend, you always said your there

I guess this time its different, this time im too much.

I blame myself for asking in my best friend to allow me to trust.

That ***** on the phone was more important, that test more deserving.

Preaching listen to the living before they become the dead

Here I am begging you to listen but instead seeing how I was just being taken for granted

I curse at myself for letting me get like that, so attached that I need to talk to you when im alone

it feels like you don’t care, even though the evidence it stalking up against you

“this is when true colours are shown”
“you don’t have money this week why do you think hes not around”

I still wait, because I have faith

Your skin is marked with black ink, your grandfathers said just have some faith and you will understand

I don’t think you’ll ever understand what its like to put someone before yourself

You keep everyone as a opition and I guess that’s my fault for making you a priority

Why would I expect something like that?

It might say you’re a man, by the year you where born

some man you are treating women as pray

Bringing them close and saying sweet words all the while just  to satisfy your hunger

Then come and preach that we are just not animals but something more, jumping on everything we see is disgusting

But I have faith that one day you will see

The hurt you cause and one day you might grow up to the man I know your destined to become

Everyone speaks and says that you’re the bad one, and that im blind if I cant see that the money is the main reason we share so many memories

But I still maintain my faith in you

My heart is big and maybe that’s my fault that I wont walk away when something good went wrong

But I put my faith in you that you will pull through at the end

Then again I was always good at playing pretend