Love people whose names you aren't afraid to speak at high volumes.
Names that can stain your teeth with melancholy as they paint over laugh lines of euphoria.
Love a name that tells you a story as it rolls off your tongue, syllables as sweet as children in summertime.
What is in a name?
Mothers, fathers, lovers, wanderers.
Love a name worth remembering.

I used to have a heart
But the streets stole it
I'm no longer a poet
Just drugged with a pen
Hitting rock bottom time and again
Its hard out here
So I grab another beer
And drink my pain away
Til a sunnier day,
If it ever comes
Til then the drugs will numb
Me and my bad decisions
And all my artistic visions
Til I'm no longer a poet
Just drugged with a pen

We always said we didn’t know what we would do without each other
But we did know

We’d only known each other for two years

I wasn’t there when your parents split up and each remarried
or when you had to get stitches on your face
or watched your first scary movie

And you weren’t there when I smoked my first cigarette
or tried to **** myself when I was 13
or when I won that soccer game my freshman year

The last time we had *** we were in a rush
because we had school in 37 minutes
and so we made it sloppy and fast in your shower
and then we drove to school together with wet hair and we laughed

The last time we had *** I got pregnant

This wasn’t one of those scares where you’re two weeks late
so you buy a few cheap tests and it’s negative
so you stash the rest in the back of your drawer and forget about it

I got pregnant on the first day of June and I never told you

I miscarried on the last day of August
and you never even knew how close you came to being a father

We stopped talking and I couldn’t even tell you
how I was stunned into silence when I realized I was going to be a mother and then knew I had to keep it a secret

Knew I had to keep our dark haired future to myself

So here it is the end of February

I should have been having the baby this week or next
and you NEVER EVEN KNEW

I watch you say how much you love this little 15 year old girl
you’ve been dating for six months

I miscarried the day you started dating so tell me that was just a

coincidence

But don't you dare ever tell me you don't know what you'd do without me
Well, I guess you wouldn't anymore

Seeing as how you don't want me

I lost something inside of me,
I lost a living creature inside of my body.
I feel like i am paralyzed
I feel like something has been taken away from me.
I will forever feel emptyness inside my body.
I will forever be unable to look at myself the same way.
I lost a child, that could have been beautiful
I lost myself in every way.
How shall i deal with this pain?

is such an ugly word.
It's ******
      gory
      heart tearing.

People think they can
                                       understand
                                       sympathise
                                 relate on some level.
That's what I thought-
but you simply
                           CAN'T.

The depth of emotion for such
a blatant mi
                 ra
                cle is stronger
than you could
imagine.

And then it's
               taken
               away.

Against a door
on your knees
doubled over
throat hoarse
eyes swollen
tear tracks
skin under nails
scratches down face.