The sight of you still makes me high
I fade into the monochrome
As you walk through
Not breathing as you move
For if you breathe me in
Back to the start
My dearest
After you
All I need to do is lay down
And die
You ruin me
Ages later
You still ruin me

There is this sadness
Pooling in my heart
In its dark reflection
All I see is your face
Unruly curls
Solum smile
And the saddest of eyes
Where the warm sea
Meets the harsh reality of land
Resting inside of those windows
Haunting me again
While I need you to need me
Lothe me
Love me
Hold me
Hate me
For while I am with him
While I lie
And love him
The hole that rests within my chest
He has never filled
The hand full of flesh and bone
That I hoped you still hold to you

Walking down the ***** needle filled streets I see the poster everywhere. I swear any unclaimed space all around Van Nuys there’s my naked body and fake eyelashes. Thank God for computers otherwise my ******* would be recognized no matter where I was in this ****** city. Its not a cush life doing what we do, but hell it pays rent in this God forsaken place.

The sweet melancholy of madness
Pulsing though my viens
As we lie in our sin
Letting the mud overturn our souls
Back into the dirt we fade

Inner peace or depression
The warmth that I feel filling my core
And rising to my cheeks and silent lips
Numb from the nonexistent words filling the air
The calm that surrounds the present loneliness
It hums
Soft and melodic
Filling the studio as the warmth of lone candles cast shadows on the walls
Windows closed
Enclosing my padded room
That no one can see beauty in
The lovely fall of an old soul
Floating in warm cream
Submerged in a colorful mind
Unseen through dark eyes
A stain glass portal into soft chaos

I see the new generations
Looking for a face as they pray
An imaginary man
On a throne in the sky
Singing out
Songs of Joy
Dancing to the rhythm of heir own heartbeats
Not a set of drums from above
The love and bliss
Building inside of them
Openly exposed in their free smiles
Originated from within their innocents
Spreading over a broken world
And pulling it back together
Until their own hearts break
And there is no face to see

Love or run
To scared to love
To brave to run
Now stuck
Listening for spirits to guide me down this path
My past ground
Muddy and grey
Not pure dirt
But mud made by my fathers blood and tears, fresh and old
And the shards of my mothers heart that she walked away from long ago
For all that I have left by the road side
My own shattered trust and dreams
Left in the darkness of the forest
The place I call home
Shaded away from the blinding sun
These are the covered paths that I walk
Alone in the end I know
For all that I love
The life lines that I grasp onto
Will only fade into memory
Then ever distant still
So there monsters of the dark I face
As they lurk about in shadow
Watching me as I try to decide
The meadow
Where I lay open
Naked
And exposed
To not only my company and the knife I know he carries
But to the red eyes awaiting me and my weakness
Or do I remain in the darkness with my demons
I am able to hide
And trust my land
Alone still to sleep with an eye open
Under the shelter of the trees
To love or to run
To live long and alone
Or to die in blissful anguish and fear