Stuck in a rut of who i want to be
A constant feeling of being stuck at sea
No where to turn
No lessons to learn
Complete isolation
Is this what i diserve
A raven with no wings
Leaves a bird who wont sing
Waves shake and rock me
But i continue on
My boat keeps me afload
Keeping steady and strong
Thrown on this raft at a very young age
Constant sun burn and dehidration have my eyes crazed
Two people inside my mind
Im in control but struggle all the time
Out of sight
Out of mind
Is the story of my life
Full of fright
Now im blind
Must continue this fight
When suddenly i meet an unsuspecting creature
A very tired wolf with a very high fever
I take this wolf onto my floating door
Lick her wounds and give her compassion
...
Something nether of them have had before
The stranded raven adores the wolf
Infatuated with its being
After licking her wound
Her leg has stopped bleeding
But soon the raven will lick to much
The wolf snarls at the raven and howls to say enough
The raven retreats to his side of the tire
The close quarters would make the raven and wolf very tired
The raven was never raised as a hatchling
Rite out the egg starving
No incubation
No warmth for the raven
He is horrible to the wolf
Without knowing why
Could be his need to die
Could be his constant crying
The raven loves the wolf
This is clear
But he has had evil tendencies for many years
He hurts the wolf
He gets bitten
He hurts the wolf
He gets bitten
He hurts the wolf
He gets bitten
He hurts the wolf
He gets bitten
Now the raven is bleeding
Missing many feathers
Looking at the wolf
Stunned
The raven is starting to see what he has done
And he sits on his corner of the raft for months
He walks over to the wolf
Licks her heart
And says i should have been your boat from the start
I should never have hurt you
Drouned you
And im sorry
I offer you my neck as payment
The raven loves the wolf
This is clear
And decides to be a new bird
For the rest of his years
A cardinal appears from the raven
The black carcass falls
And the cardinal is born
And the wolf heals up
Never to be torn

I'm drowning fast
With no way to float
No surprise because I dug the moat
I dug my own grave
And because of this ill stay
When you fill your life with fire
Expect to be burned
I caused the forest fire
So it was just my turn
With no respect for the living
Don't expect love when you die
Took to much and now I'm shaking
Fell to many times my limbs are breaking
These breathes I've been taking
Are starting to slow
The only noise I can make is a slight groan
The whimper of a moan
Looking up at the ceiling I remember it all
I remember the moment my life started to fall
When you make so many mistakes
You have to expect people's trust to break
And never be mended
I suppose I just wish it had before it ended
My life that is

When your stuck in the dark
You become afraid of the light
The heat burns your skin
And light hurts your eyes
And that's why the idea of safety I despise
But when it is forced upon you
All you can do is cave
And that's why I'm standing here today
When your under the water being pulled down
You start to panic
But a hand reach down and brought me to the surface
And for this one purpose
To save myself and you
I've never been helped
Only been hurt
But you understand this pain
So I reach in your brain
Push away the rain
And I inform you your sane  
And I'm here to stay

It's amazes me the pain you've felt
With no help
You helped yourself
Your stronger then me
I fully agree
But let me help you see
Your not alone
Your a piece of me
The wave to my sea
The angel to my death
And I am here
To show you that I will help in any way
Because today is the day
We both get saved

Due to not being raised I lack the fundamentals
Not understanding how to be human is making me go mental
To you it may all be simple
But I was raised by people who don't have principals
So if you **** me off I may smack your mouth
And later on think about why did I take that route
Well my father was an angry man
So an angry man I stand
And my mother was a coke head
Sniffing lines as I'm a baby in a crib next to her bed
So I can solidly understand this all ****** with my head
Not lying an stealing may make sense to you
But I can't fully grasp the concepts of the things that I do
I'm lost
I'm not making excuses
But perception of the real world has something to do with this
It was a common thing to hear "I'm sorry honey nothing to eat I fear"
So my groaning belly stayed for many years
The anger manifested I took it out on my piers
Anyone with something to say got something to hear
Never shut my mouth
Expeshally when I should
Never taught by anyone the difference between bad or good
I'm lost
And I'll survive by all costs
My emotions have been flipped over and criss crossed
Been choke slammed and tossed
By the people who legally should protect me but couldn't cause of the sauce
It's been a few minutes since his last drink
The boos on his breathe really makes him stink
Comes home gets drunk and starts hitting
Nothing to deserve this, did nothing that was fitting
Screaming at me telling me I'm a *******
"Keep crying you ******* baby I'll rip off your quivering lip"
I'm 9 years old dad why are you hitting me
"Your still 9 years old? Are you ******* kidding me"
I'm lost
Mom help me please I broke my arm
"Mom's busy baby, your fine theres no harm"
Mom get out the bathroom I need your help
"Son your fine no need to cry over spilled milk"
"Moms taking her medication she'll be out soon"
Hours pass and I'm still alone in my room
I need some guidance from anyone in sight
But instead I sit in the dark of my room all night
I'm lost
Hey big brother what do these pills do?
If you take them you'll relax just ******* chill dude
Are they dangerous or anything? Could I get hurt
If you don't ******* chill out they won't even work
It's just a perk calm your nerves
And so I took the pill thinking it's a cure
I'm lost
Family doesn't mean protection
Family doesn't mean love
Been struggling my hole life with no angel from above
I prey regularly asking for help
But nothing gets explained to me
I'm running in circles in hell
Someone should reach out and stop my behavior
But not body cares when I'm the one in danger
I'm dead

I'm being stared at like a spectacle
Assuming because I'm mental
Everyone wondering if I'm lethal
Filled with evil
Trying to deceit you
Unwilling to accept that I'm bleeding through
Mind is filled with lava
Heart with bad karma
But now I'm completely disarmed
Causing no harm
Lost my charm
Locked in a coffin with no light
Living the life scared to leave the house without a knife
Nobody seems to understand my brain
Because nobody seems to be able to fathom my pain
Skin burning like acid rain
Blood is the poison that keeps me alive
Forcing me to fight this strife
Compass pointing in the direction of south
Down the hell is my route
One of three siblings but feeling a ghost
Given rejection while they received boast
Recovered addict still seen in my past
Constant questioning raising anxieties fast
Wrapped up in the thoughts of my dead friends
Listening to the consistent screaming that seems to never end
13 years old when I fell under the spell
Next 6 years would be a pill raged hell
Maturity a must with my daughters birth
Sobriety was a gift not a curse
But that itch will always be in my back
Stress levels consuming me telling me to go back
Heart for my daughter will always prevail
I would never do anything to lose her I have shed my scales
Do what I can to tip the scales
Luck is something that I have none of
Make my own luck, no help from above