Ayisha R

Ayisha R Nov 2024

Sick
and—tired.

****(ed)
and—fried.

Tested,
and
tried.

🔩🪛

Inspired from a person’s feeling of being (ab)used feat Sneaker Pimps’ Spin Spin Sugar as the background track to this.

_________

© Ayisha Rahman, 2024

Ayisha R Nov 2024

****, Would.

He’s not
meant
for
      this,
for
      that,

                               for you.

Instead,
he’s meant
       for
      that,
for
      this,

      but
                  not
                                     for you.

If he
wanted to,
then he ****
would.

****
—would've
done
            it
                  for
                            her.

When your thoughts hit you hard that your words become crumbled, but then.. reality hit you hard.

_________

© Ayisha Rahman, 2024

Nov 2024

n

l o n g i n g.

I've always been a little selfish,
a little spineless,
a little reckless.

I'll use anything as an excuse.
An excuse for the lack of -

l o n g i n g.

God, I wish I could change things.

Ripping off- each bandaid,
salting every wound.

God, I wish there was another option.

I am closing all the doors.
I am pouring gasoline.

God, I am so sorry.

I've always been -
a little mindless.
Always shown -
a little too much kindness.

I've just never felt so flightless,
I don't really feel like -
I should fight this.

I long to be just -
a little bit dramatic.

Ayisha R Nov 2024

You Know That Feeling?

You know,
that feeling
when you like a person—
and the person likes you back?

Blissfully
coincidentally.

You know,
this feeling
when a person likes you
and you somehow,
like them back?

Ignorantly
conveniently.

Reciprocally;
reproachable.

🪞

I wrote this while reflecting on mutual vs. circumstantial reciprocation between two people, which is often conditional on one’s self(ish)-interest.

_________

© Ayisha Rahman, 2024

#loverecriprocation