It seems the power is giving out.
I scour the floor blind,
while muscle memory guides me to
existing lifelines no longer connected to salvation.

I give up.

Silence fills what i know to be what never was a home,
with my dreams being the only connection to where my heart truly
finds it's comfort.
The only problem lies in the lack of sleep claiming my tired eyes.

In the darkness i find just myself,
and maybe that's the point.

The thunder knocks us off balance.
Turns are taken shooting lightning bolts
where we both know it hurts the most.

The world is hazy as you leave me, tired,
while i blindly (quite literally) drive home after the storm.

A drive that should not have gone smoothly,
gone by without a single reaching hand.

Morning came as the birds sang and
the world went on doing what it knows best,
all while you exist without the slightest bit of worry
or hesitation.
I am stupid to have expected something different.

I think the worth of someone dear is much more than a rainy night.
If one night causes one to forget,
what will a lifetime do?

I am your spectacle.
You gather, an audience amongst you,
ready for this weeks show.

Your words are sharp,
as you mock my fears to entertain the masses.

I am a fool,
for both showing up as well as "preforming"
a sold out show.

Paint me out to be a monster,
for the audience has never had the pleasure to think anything else.
Ensure your holy actions are spoken for,
as i spend another night sleeping among promises that were as transparent as your gracious invitation.

My mind grows heavy.
I had the equation figured out i thought.

I broke free of my shackles and have a bed to call my own,
as well as the means to do as i please.

All that has limited us for years now gone for a summer,
yet i am here, and you are there.

So here's a toast,
to fog the imaginary assurance of the abundance,
and to making brownies to drown it all away.

I've come to realize momentary ignorance is not blissful.
Granted, i may be doing it wrong.
It is not what i do not know,
it's what i chose to forget.
A facade, to wear this lovely mask that has fit so well for years.
As I wait,
or we,
for a change that i dare say may never happen.
In all honesty it might just be I.

..

I had a conversation about soul mates not too long ago,
apparently they're a myth.
That any person can be the one if you give them the chance.

I dunno how i feel about that,
makes love dull.
It's special to fight through thick and thin when you know its not easy to find.
Special because it's worth it in the end,
though i have not reached the euphoric part of that bargain.
~~   ~~

Three Cheers to THREE years tho lol amirite,
maybe the universe will allow me to rightfully quote that song title one day.

Get a move on,
times a tickin.

No room for pauperism,
thoughts much more valuable than
minuscule discomforts.

My hands are full darlin,
much to do,
a quarrel with ya don't compare to potential melodies unsung.

So get a move on and pull yourself together,
trail behind and we’ll sail to spite the weather.