March 13, 2009

The sun, it shines down on me with rays of warmth.
My heart thawing out of it’s icy sleep.
I’m overcome with a new happiness.
A feeling almost forgotten,
Buried deep within my broken heart.
And though the enemy sits a mere thirty feet away,
There’s nothing that they can say to bring me down
This time.

The darkness that filled my life, so fragile,
Now lifted  off my shoulders at last.
His soul, given to me as a token of his love.
A treasure so fragile only my hands can hold it.
The scent of his skin still lingers on me,
Something that will never be forgotten.
A gentle touch, and then I’m set free
Of everything so vile to me.
And I’m free.


March 14, 2009

Unwelcome as I feel, here I stay, still.
No one to protect me,
I’m left here on my own.
Enemies all around me,
With their looks of pure evil.
Once providing me with friendship,
Now killing me so slowly.


March 20, 2009

Inside my mind is where I stay,
Safe from all that is.
Away from the world,
I hide here, and worry, I will not.
As long as I am here,
Inside my mind, a safe sanctuary,
Free from doubt and all pain.
My imagination is the only place
I want to be,
So I don’t feel the pain any more.


March 24, 2009

Unexpectedly, a dagger pierces me,
Destroying the temporary happiness I felt.
Now I lay here, my heart bleeding,
With tears running down my face.
I thought it was all over.
But it’s not.
So I’ll die emotionally,
Where no one can find me and save me.
It’s too late now.


May 13, 2009

Another year older,
And still the darkness is inside me.
Another year has passed,
With the depression slowly killing me.
The dawn has passed
With another sleepless night.
So I’ll slowly fall into this land of nightmares,
Where no one can save me from myself.
My soul has been taken,
There’s nothing I can do now.

May 14, 2009

There’s something about him,
Something so angelic
Yet so sinister in a way.
He’s been there in my dreams.
And never ceased to let me down.
I don’t know why,
I don’t think I ever will,
But I want him.
I need him.
I can’t live with out him.
For he holds the key to my heart.
He has my soul,
And forever,
He will.


May 16, 2009

The wind blows through my hair,
And I’m free.
Free of doubt,
Free of worry,
Free of everything that brought me down.
I finally see the beauty in the world.
The peace that never seemed to consume me,
Now has taken over.
And, alas, I am happy,
Even for a moment so brief.
But who am I to care,
As long as I feel it’s serenity.
It’s beautiful, this feeling.
I cannot explain,
For it is more than happiness.


June 7, 2009

I hate life.
When will I wake up from this nightmare.
It seems like every where I go,
I’m tormented.


September 27, 2009

I went to my place at the rocks.
The only place where I can be at peace.
There’s no one around,
The way I like it.

It’s funny how I just look at the ground,
In the middle of a clover field,
And I find a four leafed clover.
Then there’s people who have looked and looked
And have never found one.
It makes me think. Am I lucky?
Are these four leafed clovers lucky?

The sun is warm, shining down on me,
But the wind is cool.
I feel alive, and nothing can bring me down.
As long as I am in this sacred little place
That fills my body with peace.

I was angry before got here.
Sick of my friends and family hurting me.
But the moment I get here,
I’m overwhelmed with serenity,
And I’m free.
Free like the waves crashing on the rocks.
Free like the wind blowing through my hair.
Free like the majestic wolf I am to be.


September, 30, 2009

A true friend, I have realized, is a rare treasure.
Something that once found (if ever),
Should  be held on to.
I’ve had best friends come and go.
But there is one of whom I truly miss,
Despite the fact that she hurt me,
Not once, but twice.
I usually know better
Than to hold onto something like that,
But I can’t help it.
I still love her as if she were my sister.
I may never want to see her again.
I may hate her for lying,
But I will never forget her.

The moon shines over the forest,
Lighting the paths for us.
It’s quiet and calm, as here I rest,
Peacefully in my den.


In the peace, I faithfully wait,
As my pups run about, playing.
Soon he’ll be home, their father, my mate.
With game for us to eat.


In the distance I hear a howl,
In excitement, I reply.
Gunshots fire, I hear a growl.
I stiffen and fill with fear.


I gather my pups, hide them in the den.
I whimper at them to stay,
In the den, remaining hidden.
Then I sprint towards my mate.


I hear him whimper, I hear him cry.
I feel my heart break.
They hurt him, they did, but why?
He only wanted to feed his family.


I smell gunpowder and the blood,
I am quickly nearing them.
I silently run through the mud,
I can hear his laboured breath.


The man with the gun walks up to him
I pounce in between before I think.
I growl and snarl, I try to scare him.
He just laughs away.


He lifts up his gun, and points at me,
Then I hear a screamed, “No!”
Into the clearing runs a girl of eighteen,
Pushes the man and takes the gun.


She points the weapon at the man,
Yells to get off her property,
And to never near a wolf again.
A shot, then the man takes off.


She approaches us carefully and
Calls her friend to bring First Aid.
I step aside as my mate tries to stand.
She soothes him back down.


This girl is different, I can feel.
I can’t help but trust her.
Next to me, she does kneel.
Stopping my mate from bleeding.


We waited a while for her friend,
And as we waited she comforted me.
“He’ll be okay, this is not his end.
I will make him better.”


Into the clearing, comes a young man,
Not much older than her.
With a white box in his hand,
He walks over to us.


She takes the box, removes its contents,
And they start working away.
Over my love’s body, they are bent,
Cleaning away the blood.


She calmly whispers to me,
“Go to you den, your  cubs are waiting,
Your mate is safe with me.”
I hesitate but I run to my pups.


My pups whine and whimper,
And it feels like forever later,
I hear the girl’s voice, barely a whisper,
“It’s okay, boy. We’re almost there.”


She comes to the den,
With my mate close behind.
I leave the den and greet them.
My mate is back, he’s okay.


The girl and the boy
Come every so often,
They take care of my love,
They make sure we’re okay.


I wish there were more people like this,
To make sure that we aren’t massacred off.
To protect us when we can’t protect our self.
To make people see we’re not bad at all.

The yelling starts again, the insults get worse.
The depression is back, the pain, it hurts.
I try so hard to be an ideal daughter.
I’ll never be good enough, it just doesn‘t matter.
Don’t they see all the scars, all the pain?
They do this to me, they make me hurt again.
The thoughts of death and darkness are back,
Of happiness and love, my mind does lack.
I’ll never escape the depression, it seems.
I’ll never escape this hell, though only in my dreams.
I need to be saved from myself once again.
All of this hurt is driving me insane.
I want to escape this hell I call home,
I want to escape feeling so alone.
But it’ll never happen, this I feel is true.
All the words that they say, they cannot undo.
I cannot live like this anymore,
The pain I feel is unlike before.
I just need to escape, I need to get out.
I will escape, I will get myself out.

You left me
Alone on the side of a road.
I don't know
Where I am or what I did.
I gave you my love,
I trusted you.
But you left me
Alone on the side of a road.

I'm hungry,
I have no food or water.
The cars speed
Past me, not acknowledging me.
I'm scared and cold.
I want to go home.
But you left me
Alone on the side of the road.

I'm weak.
I feel I won't make it.
So I lay
In a box on the side of the road.
My stomach growls,
I'm starving now.
I cry to myself, someone help.

The rain pours,
And I weakly cry out.
Save me,
I did nothing wrong.
A car slows,
They pull over,
They saw me, they want to help.

I'm saved,
I lick them, wagging my tail,
Though I'm weak.
But I'm so happy to be warm.
They take me home,
They give me food,
They saved me just in time.

I'm happy,
I'm no longer alone.
I have a home,
And they love me more then my past owner.
I am part of their family,
And I'm happy,
I'm no longer on the side of the road.