I took you out of notebooks, so that my heart could heal. Had to stomach the reality, that you were never real. 

Pens once lost on pages, now crinckled on the table. Happily ever after, just a twisted fable. 

Erasing you from my soul, burned history marked with pen. So that I may forget my past, and attempt to begin again. 

I scribbled out old verses, I had yet to complete. Leaving behind our memories, ruin laying at my feet. 

What once was love filled margins, with cursive bent askew. Only to find that with time, my poetry is tainted with the poison of you.

When I look at him
I see
my past and my future
Time paused
by dreams that once
came true
stars that still glint
with endless possibilities
of infinity.

When I look at him
I see
my heart
a piece of me
forever beating
within his chest
a gift given so long ago..
With out him
I can never be whole.

When I look at him
I see
a stunning masterpiece
an abstract form
of beauty
that still
after all these years
brings me to my knees
and steals my breath.

Shame woven into me, to escape the things I've done. In shadow it reminds me, it's a battle that can't be won.

Fingerprints along the walls, that match my very hand. It holds to gently or grips to tight, and lost is the magic sand.

Were where you all that time ago, when I needed strength the most? Now my past self haunts me, like the lingering of a ghost.

Never is there a witch when you need one, to cast a magic spell. Circles drawn and cauldrons bubbled, when I saved myself from hell.

He mentioned my favorite book in bed,
reading my thoughts aloud,
and stripping me further.
How easily I fell for him.

Misplaced is this part of me,
I can no longer find.
Tossed bedside earrings that fell carelessly,
becoming abandoned in bedsheets.

I dream of him less now,
fading knowledge that his body,
once fit so perfectly with mine.
His eyes carry so much depth,
that I couldn't discover reason.

Distance fills this gap,
so I tuck it away into corners.
Swept emotions into the closet,
pushed away with missing him.

I must love the wrong way,
always knowing,
he wouldn't stay.
taking the most intimate part of me offered,
I stand here,
between space and silence.

Sometimes I think his scent lingers on my skin.

Scars impossible to erase no matter how hard I scrub.

His need for me always urgent.

Firm forceful hands always taking more then I want to give.

The secret is pain can be such pleasure..

Making love to monsters in the dark.

Eyes closed and gasping.

Physical need overwhelming,
and fireworks nowhere in sight.

He said he caught himself thinking of my long legs when I was absent.

I froze...Silent and annoyed...

Perhaps he was over confidant when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I slapped him.

It made me feel cheap so I lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply watching the smoke swirl... if I could just fade away with it.

Lights to bright and sounds that burst. My head hurts...I flick my ash.

Now he's frozen...just watching me.

Perverts and nicotine have the same stench. Both a bad habit I need to quit.

Fire dances all around me, setting this life to flame. Destruction engulfing all I've built, I am the one to blame.

I won't cry as I watch it burn, and dim to a dying ember. Gathering ashes off the floor, it's all I have left to remember.

Place them in my pocket, next to the matches I lit to spark. Hoping to catch light, to what was lurking in the dark.

I'll leave this world of ruin, wish to be among the stars. Every decision that we make, leaves us marked with scars.

Smoldering to smoke now, I'm moving towards a better place. Putting the past behind me, I surrender to Fate's embrace.