He said he caught himself thinking of my long legs when I was absent.

I froze...Silent and annoyed...

Perhaps he was over confidant when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I slapped him.

It made me feel cheap so I lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply watching the smoke swirl... if I could just fade away with it.

Lights to bright and sounds that burst. My head hurts...I flick my ash.

Now he's frozen...just watching me.

Perverts and nicotine have the same stench. Both a bad habit I need to quit.

Fire dances all around me, setting this life to flame. Destruction engulfing all I've built, I am the one to blame.

I won't cry as I watch it burn, and dim to a dying ember. Gathering ashes off the floor, it's all I have left to remember.

Place them in my pocket, next to the matches I lit to spark. Hoping to catch light, to what was lurking in the dark.

I'll leave this world of ruin, wish to be among the stars. Every decision that we make, leaves us marked with scars.

Smoldering to smoke now, I'm moving towards a better place. Putting the past behind me, I surrender to Fate's embrace.

I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pocket.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.

I place my bare feet to the Earth, my long hair flowing free. I stretch my palms up to the Moon, and ask her to heal me.

Wind blows around me, Winter chill framing my face. My dress clings to the curves of my body, all pain and fears erased.

I won't hang my head anymore, I refuse to drown in Sorrow. I don't have all the missing pieces, but I'll Hope for a better tomorrow.

Dance can be a magical thing, it helps in untold ways. Moonbeams all around me, I haven't felt this Light in days.

I absorb the Universe, I just want to be set free. To cast aside these broken dreams and find Tranquility.

Promises in conversations made, as I whisper in the night. Only to find memory gone, with the rising light.

Tapping counts like drum sticks pounding, my brain set in motion.
Illusions come and fade to go, leaving me drowning in emotion.

Cast about I write the list, ignoring my very own plea. Pain so clearly visible, runs deeply within me.

Each day brings a new hope, as I let the sunrise warm me from within. I pick up all the pieces of myself, and with strength begin again.

There are no words
    to describe
                what's come over me.
Waves of emotions crash
       dragging me down
to drown.
I struggle to suppress the pain,
       to not give into it.
Icy liquid,
a brilliant blue wraps itself around my body.
       Tears burn my eyes
stinging    with   salt.
My stupidity brought this on.
     I broke my own rules.
               I knew better.
Why struggle if it's deserved?
I    give    up
allow myself to drown.
         Sinking fast
water   and   tears      choke me.
My thoughts are annoyance,
buzzing           constantly.
I let it drift away
you can't save me this time....
      I let you drift away....
I sink
suffocate
    my weakness disgusts me.
I'm to tired to fight,
        to hurt to care anymore.
I give into water.
     Consume me,
take me to the ocean
      floor
drown me.
          I offer you my life.
              I give into water.

It's etched upon my skin, scars I can't unsee. No matter the time that separates past, ugly is what I've come to be.  

Bold fury that once hit its mark, it's now burned into my very being. All the abuse for my own good, something I was to afraid of seeing. 

Worthless was always the word, used to describe who I am. Even to hear it now, truly crumbles who I am. 

Time can ease a lot of things,  but life just wears me down. I can't help the things I think, when he's not around..

I wish I was a hero, who rose to heartfelt glory. But really I'm just broken, and surviving is my life story.