Don't worry darling,
When I push you away,
I promise,
You won't feel a thing.

I'll be the one,
To burn in the fire,
The smoke,
Causing my eyes to sting.

I know it's for the better,
I'm a burden,
Don't you see?

I promise I won't blame you,

Who would want to be around me?

Step 1: Kiss her, hard.
Step 2: Let her swim through your body and feel her fingernails accidentally chip a piece of your heart off.
Step 3: Do anything and everything that absolutely terrifies you, then do these things again, with her this time.
Step 4: Climb a mountain, then write her a letter once you reach the top; spill your guts out onto that piece of paper and watch as the snowflakes turn into words and -27 degrees turns into excruciating emotions.
Step 5: Realize that death is just another form of telling her that she's beautiful & listening to her sing in the car & watching her graduate from the school we call life & letting her run her sandy toes through your leg hair.
Step 6: Jump off of a cliff made of her memories, then sink to the bottom of that ocean which is filled with contaminated smiles and laughs that you haven't seen or felt in ages.
Step 7: Congratulate her on her new job and marriage.
Step 8: Give her newborn son a big hug, for the both of you; knowing in the back of your mind, that should of been your little boy to give kisses to on all the boo-boos and scratches he gets.
Step 9: Accidentally see her across the park, jogging (so beautifully if I might add), and walk in the opposite direction.
Step 10: Keep on living, without her.

Its been years since your fingertips
Have lived on my skin.
Months and days since my taste
Has been on your tongue.
It feels like a lifetime since ive woken up
To your smiling face , or fallen asleep to you
Whispering quietly in the dark.

Why does it feel then, like only yesturday that i lost you?
I swear time has slowed to a crawl since that day,
I watched your mom cry as we both said our goodbyes to you, grasping each other ,
Clinging to the only person who loved you as much as I did.

I had packed your things away ,
And as hard as i tried ; the smell of you
And your clothes wouldnt leave our closet .
For a while i masked it as much as possible ,
Till standing breathing you in brought
Me comfort.

I went to visit you today , it bothered me
To see Your life narrowed simply down to
Chiseled cursive in stone reading
"A beloved son and brother " .

It made me want to tell everyone who you were
About the things you did that mattered;
The time i knew you ,
The dash between the dates .


And on the first warm day ; every spring ,ill feel you;  with brand new flowers budding ,
I have peace of mind knowing
There is always a new start , even after the harshest of winters.

I have never been
The apple of anyone's eye
Because I'm too prickly and bitter.
The object of affection
Because I am not shiny, nor do I
Sport bright and valuable colors.
Anybody's "one and only."
No,
I have been one of many
Used, abused, and stepped on
And now they wonder
Why I cannot handle commitment?
Well, I will tell you why.
If a guy cannot see past
The thick skin I wear
The bare face I show
How my hair is a little too frizzy
Is he worth the time and effort?
If he
Cheats on me
Tells me I'm worthless, ugly, nothing
Is obsessed with my
Location, activities, intentions
Why should I bother?
It seems that
Every time someone seems like
Maybe they care, maybe they are interested in me
It's a lie, a misconception, a scheme
So now, I guard my heart and mind
Keep myself closed, shut off, shutdown
But my body?
Oh, I'd give it away in an instant.
Sometimes, to get ahead in this society
You have to be their definition of a ****
In other words
Look like a lady
But act like a man.