m not suicidal or anything, i just really want to die

reflection in the water, look between the lines

see the difference between being here and being alive.

i got nothing left to say

been sitting on my lonely *** all

******* day

from summer, to fall

nothing has changed.

i’m still on this precipice

you’re still tired

of me and my explosive fits

you have this patience i can admire.

my lungs are full of disintegration

and my heart has been screaming all day

give me a sign, some sort of revelation

give me something more to say.

fingers intertwined
like bodies in the night
warm smiles fight the vacant eyes
staring back at me

i hate the way i can't live without you
and how you couldn't care less
but you say you love me, do you,
we used to be limitless

codeine in her veins and
tobacco on her tongue
she's just a bit insane
but she loves the fresh air in her lungs
and the wind in her hair
her heart's still there
beating on,
everything that is
has still begun

hello you and your
crooked smile
how are you and your
river of denial
are you drowning,
are you living?
are you ever really
here?

hello, love
and your blistered hands
where are you tonight
and are you still in love?
i never meant to hold such
high demands
i just wanted it to be right
i wanted it to be love
the love i'm undeserving of

words that rhyme
syllables locked in time
hello, my dear
are you still here?

say goodbye
to what once was
go and let it die.
just because.

you set me on fire
i feel like i've said it all before
already worn words
reborn into new sentences
they don't quench your thirst, no

you know, i never was a liar
but you are a thief
my heart rips right on out for you
falls to your feet, but you wont fix it, no
maybe for once its not me who isn't good enough

so how could you do this to me?
you've ****** the words and love right out me
what am i now,
an empty shell?
i don't know why, but i sure know how
boy, you've put me through hell

call me the **** but who gets head
twice in two weeks?
oh wait, but
there goes those words fillin me with dread.
who's the one who ******* ***** me?

i can't do it anymore
and when the words dry up like this i
forget exactly what i'm living for.

I got him by my side
going down the road
but he's not really there, no,
he's got someone else on his mind

and it's got me feelin kinda blue, you know?
when the man you love
just can't love you,
no hope.

but kiss me hard before you go
and hold me tighter than ever before
it's because of you, now i know
i've become a sick and twisted little *****.

but this isn't me, you see
the past few months
can't show
my true colors.

but i've said it more than once
and he don't trust me, no
no more.

the lights go out
when you
walk away

if i could write the right words
i would
if i could sing the proper song
i would
and if i could turn back time,
pretend it never happened,
oh god, how i would.

if i could find the cure
for your broken heart
it wouldn't take too long
to put back together, what i tore apart
if i could find
all the love we have mentioned
oh god, if i could.

this time's different, you see
because i'm finally learning
from these endless mistakes
i'm done with the insanity
they hopeless pain cycling
darling, if i go without you
i'll get the shakes
lost without you,
i swear this time i mean it.

it's hopeless,
don't tell me it's hopeless
because the only hope i have
is trapped inside that chest of yours
and those moments we shared, they're priceless
without you, i'll go mad.
my skin is lost
without yours

my words have no accountability
my actions are set in stone
i am fraught with hostility
towards no one but my own

forgive me, lover,
for i have sinned.

so you're finally dying
today
like you said you would
yesterday
and i'm still here waiting
for the day
that comes, only as it should.

and she held on anyway
pushed and pushed
till her body gave way
first the liver,
then the kidney
your mind was lost in the shiver
and you missed me

i kissed your hands
bruised and pale
your forehead
scarred and frail
with its bandages
time slipping like sand
blood runs red
your bones hollow
like canyons

and you fell down
a few too many times
and your seizures
were the sound
of life's irrevocable fines

and now you lay in your
hospital bed
my only mother
is left for dead
i'd stand by your side
despite all the hell you showed me
you are on my mind
i still don't remember
the last time you
phoned me