To the ghost who's touch still lingers. I have your name set as ghost in my phone and everytime I see your contact I try not to slouch because I don't want to feel weak. You still haunt me.

I hold my heart in my hand and some times I blame myself because I give love to easy and because I love to hard but most the time I tell myself it's a beautiful thing so someone knows I love them with all of me so when they/ if they ever feel like they weren't or aren't loved they are by me I have so much love to give but I wish most I could love myself like the love I make others feel

I am getting so weak my knees want to give out on me when I try to walk. My shoulders slouch when I stand and I try to straighten them out but they remain the same. I try to fill this empty space with a cigarette between my lips because the memory of you is all that I have left and the thought of what could have been. I hate that I have a slouch when I stand and that my knees are getting to weak to carry me I am trying. You told me to let you go. So I did. I try and ask myself if you really loved me but i think I wanted love from you so bad I tricked myself into believing what you gave was. I will always remember this day. Please know that my slouch is temporary I will fix my slouch so that I stand tall and people see that I am bright and confident and no longer will I have the aching knees and slouch when I stand.

Me and my family are going down the highway again the day after you broke up with me I was okay till I noticed it was the same road that held my tears for me. my face was a blank canvas and when I tried to smile again I couldn't I felt my stomach knot up and my head full of memory's and moments we had sometimes I like to remember how your hand fit in mine and how your body fit perfectly against me no imperfections as I like to say but I know we had a problem we though it was okay we'd make it but I being a boy and you being a girl who's in love with girls couldn't handle it I thought love was over anything even a "preference " I was still the same person just not a girl. Sometimes I blame myself and I smoked a whole cigarette down to the filter I never thought I'd do it but lately My minds a tornado ruining everything I am I don't ever think I'll stop thinking about you your name is imprinted into my memory I will never forget you.

I can still feel your kiss on my lips. I can feel you always. I get sad.

I avoided cigarettes because it kills your insides I have so many of them and have talked myself out of smoking them every time I often think going on my roof and sitting at the ledge and lighting and inhaling the poison to **** my insides I don't know why I haven't I'm not scared to die

My body is only a house to hole what I need and it's falling apart it needs repairs but I don't know how to make them