majesty of mine
raise your bejeweled head
let me live you
the ocean of my eyes will shimmer
with the pearls you place there

For a solid three hours the world is gold.
Every streetlamp is an angel;
the red traffic light is unparalleled in its vibrancy.
Whatever may have been pleasant before
dazzles you now.
The temperature of the air is in harmony with
the temperature of your body.
The trees are what they always were and
you somehow never noticed the glow of light passing
through a maple leaf;
you never quite enjoyed the complexion of the air.
When people talk to you it is easy to forget
that they cannot feel it also.
When you dance to celebrate every cell of your body
they stand back and watch you.
If you listen to yourself you know exactly what you need to do,
if there is a particular song that will sound like melted silver.
You are an excellent navigator of your world as long as
you avoid those who are not living in it with you.
In the morning you wonder
if your experience of life has been tainted.
Whenever something beautiful happens you will know
it is not as perfect as it could be.

you would not have jumped on your own

you can remember your toes
gripping
the cliff's edge
you can remember his hand
pressed into yours
how firm it had seemed
how sure you had been
if there was doubt
you did not listen

you do not remember jumping
just glassy eyes mixed calls hot confusion
you forgot how it felt to be
safe inside only yourself and now
you are falling
and you scream:
How Did I Get Here

the hand that was pressed into yours
is not there
you do not know
exactly when the fingers
uncurled and slipped
away
you search the sky
rushing past
you can see his colors but
not his face
as you plummet
you realize
he is flying

the darkness catches you like a net
it swings itself over you
the thickest brush of sumi ink
the softest blanket the womb
it is still but
you are throbbing
there is a tiny needle in the center of your chest
a red halo is formed
tender like a splinter
you do not understand it
you are afraid

there are beautiful people everywhere
but you do not see them
you know he is flying so
you do not look up
instead
you bury yourself into the dark and
wait
you hold your own hands
they are warm and calloused and familiar

days and days and days

melody begins to
trickle
into the darkness
you don't know
if it is coming from inside of you
or outside of you
the music brushes the side of your face
you nudge it away
more persistent it grabs you
from behind
playfully
you snarl and swing around
you are standing in the daylight

the music grows and
you follow it and follow it
and when you get there you realize
you have forgotten his name
and can recall your own

there is a girl I
love
but don't really know
she is always
bent
over the table
her hair is
ash brown unbrushed
it creates a frazzled
blanket
over her head
sometimes she lifts up
for a second
makes some cynical remark and
giggles
and puts her head back down
in a sea of runway wannabes
in manicured eyebrows
and dior shoes
she wears
tattered sweatshirts and
not a smudge of makeup
when you are beautiful
you do not need to be
pretty

He said
My oufit was
Basic
It was an insult
You are supposed to be
Yourself
As long as you remain
Different
You are supposed to prove
Authenticity
By making decisions based on
What other people
Are doing

I want to
fill the empty parts of people
when I am around them
and take these parts with me
when I leave
so that
people will be unable
to exist
without me
(power)

the goat was completely alive
and then it was completely lifeless
if there was an in-between
I could not tell where it ended
or began.