Don't tell me that.
That you don't think what I do is hard.
Don't tell me that.
That what you study is better than what I study.
Don't mock me.
You can't do what I do.
No one can do what I do.
That's the beauty of being creating things.
No two people can create the same two things.
Have fun doing surgery and risking people's lives.
I have a culture to inspire.

beauty marks and
kisses from angels
dots on white
checked every year

they made my mom sick
they burned them
cut them
froze them
they cover her more than me
like sprinkles
little moments in time
spread over her body
my fingers would trail them
feel the way they changed her skin
I loved her dark spots
until I realized they did not love her

I've grown
my skin has stretched mine
pulled my dark spots apart from where they started

If I could show you just how much I've changed
I would show you with my dark spots
I would show you how they started here
and moved
and changed
and grew
I would tell you how one dark spot has tracked my growth
it never expected to be pulled down with the years
but my growth prevailed and there it lies
miles away from it's home

I would show you the one that I touch when I am nervous
but not a bad nervous
the nervous that excites
that entices
that knows there is more to find
an adventure abroad
your love to steal
I touched this dark spot when I first saw you
I still run my finger over it
every time we meet  

I would show you the scar
where one was cut out
where my kiss from an angel
was suspected to be a kiss from cruel fate
where my Mother's sickness
shined through me
where I felt mortality for the first time
I lost my first tooth that summer day
hours before they took my first dark spot
it was as if my body knew it was time to grow up
now that I had thought of death
there was no point for baby teeth
their assessments were wrong
my dark spot was an angel's kiss
but the risk was too great
a lighter body and an aged mind moved forward
my kiss gone
my blessings gone as well

I would show you the ones that come every year
that lightly dust my nose
I would run your finger over the skin
to show you that they are as fleeting as the season
that they pop up as fast as they leave
just like you did
you left with those dark spots

I would show you the ones that make me who I am
make me who we are
the triangle on my left arm
the triangle that all the women in my family share
the women that are the strongest I know
that have their own dark spots
their own stories
such a vast valley between our lives
joined by our love
by our past
by our dark spots
all in the same shape

I would show you my fourth dark spot
I would show you the thing that I am most proud and humiliated of
the fact that I am not wholly one of them
the fact that I am my own

I would ask you to flip me over
to run your hand across my back
to clutch my ribs
to touch the dark spots I cannot see
to give you the dark spots that are for you
I would show you the dark spots that are for you when I walk away
when I lay next to you
under you
in front of you

if I could show you how much I've changed
I would show you my dark spots
the ones that belong to you
the ones that belong to the angels
the ones that belong to the cruel fate
the ones that are from my mother
I would show you the ones that bind me to the women in my family
but most of all
I would show you the ones that are just mine
that only I know
I want you to know them too

I want you to know my dark spots

I’ve walked the fires of Dante’s hell,
yet escaped to feel the rain,
I’ve conquered self deception,
lest it lie to me again.

I’ve seen the logic of insanity,
the chaos in the plan,
I’ve been witness to calamity,
man’s inhumanity to man.

I’ve endured a thousand sleepless nights,
shed tears, and muffled screams,
and tossed and turned a thousand more,
whence dragons ruled my dreams.

I’ve seen seconds pass like seasons,
been imprisoned in my mind,
I’ve been numb that felt like torture,
and known torture that was kind.

No angels stead beside me,
I’ve bourn the brunt of Satan’s wrath,
I’ve spat at Gods who stood the way,
for no God shall bar my path.

I’ve stared down death at my own hand,
yet healed to bear the scars,
It’s only us who have the power
to destroy what would be ours.

I’ve gazed upon the emptiness
kept hidden in my soul,
Yet returned, a weary traveler,
the wiser of my role.

I’ve survived to tell my tale,
to warn of dangers left unnamed,
“Here be tygers!” Aye, ‘tis true;
but tygers can be tamed.

Dan Bryce

At this point. Right now

I can’t figure out if I’m falling apart

or holding myself together

or just wishing for something else.

They land on the flowers in the garden, and
The purple petals bend under their weight like
Eyelashes with leftover mascara from last night.
Six legs and antennae dance
From stamen to stamen, a kaleidoscope of
Color, and big, bug eyes stare at me
With the black vacancy of their souls.
They are silent predators (of nectar),
Coming from the sky and touching down on their prey
Like vultures swoop down on carrion.
One comes close to me, advancing overhead
And panic in my blood makes my heart beat
As fast as its wings, going up and down.
I put my hand up, palm glistening,
Trying to protect myself from the terrible insect,
The garden monster;
And at last, deflecting from my waving hands,
The butterfly flutters off into the spring air.

Welcome to the party
welcome to the show
this is for the tired beauties
promenading the watering hole
searching for another
stand in for the night
back in the darkest corners
where they lose their fight

And when the sun goes down
the feelings start to stir
another chance to redeem yourself
have you really found your cure
loneliness and desperation led you to this place
stuck in a world
where deceit is common place

Take a look in the mirror
tell me what do you see
are you proud of what looks back now
who you want it to be
wasted days and nights go by
soon turn to years
hopeful dreams and pleasantries
vanish into tears

Standing at the crossroads
of life uncertainly
past choices and decisions
stare back impassively
nothing comes easy in this life it seems
is all what appears to be