I am what I am. I am a 17 year old girl, but you don’t have to tell me because I know that well enough, thank you. I am a young girl with her whole life ahead of her; no, I am a young girl with her whole life forced upon her. I am what I am.
I am a perfectionist who needs to create a 365-day planner, color coated with sticky notes and highlights – tonight. I am what I am. I am an enthusiast about books that make you cry harder than any movie ever could. I am the salty and buttery fingers that dive into the bowl during a movie. I am the guilty pleasure of indulging in foods and beverages unworthy of my submission. I am who I am. I am a lover of 5 a.m. coffee and sleepy eyes I have yet to see. I am a hopeless romantic who “don’t need no man” but yearns for a man to touch me in ways his hands cannot. I am what I am.
I am the byproduct of an unconditionally loving, but discriminatory and broken family. But you don’t need to know that. You don’t need to know that I am only who I am because of fear of becoming what they are. I am what I am. I am the mistakes I have made and I am the lessons I’ve learned. But listen closely and hear me clearly. I am NOT the gap in-between my teeth. I am not the acne on my face. I am not my 2 a.m. feelings. I am what I am.
I am the violent sobs that fall without permission on the alter. I am what they call a “bible-thumping, Jesus freak” Christian. Do you know anything about that? I am what I am. I am His piercing screams coming from the cross and I am His most dearly beloved. I am what I am. I am loved and I am cherished and I am His. I am blessed and I am forgiven and I am sanctified. I am the daughter of the one true King and He has called me by name. I am what I am.

As gravity bounds me
To this thing called earth
I look all around
And see nothing of worth
I know my day is near
it's long overdue
To stand at the gates
And have my own personal breakthrough
To see my family
to hear my sins
I'm glad I'm not in hell
Because there, no one wins

God's voice is powerful
It can come as whispers in the wind,
or clashing cymbals.

He speaks to you as a child
For you are...
his child

You hear him as a leader,
as a Father, friend, enemy,
and a Judge... hopefully.

Let us rejoice in his name
Let us sing to him
Let us praise him from his house.

Ugh,
here we go again.
You text me first and I get excited,
then you end the conversation.

We dated for some time...
I know, I remember
(how could I not!?)
then you said I "changed"
"lost my ways" apparently.

I want you to know.... I love you still
I never stopped
I am sitting here thinking about you
it seems that..
that's all I do

Will you please just tell me
what I can do
to make you love me again?

Why must we fight all the time?
We are supposed to love each other
But we continue to scream and yell

I don't know why we fight
But when we do fight, we are good competition
They always did say I had my mothers personality
Guess they were right

I love you though
Do you know that?
I don't want you to think otherwise
'Cause you're my rock.... mom.

Is tonight another night
I like to label restless
Will it be filled with dreams
Or thoughts of things unseen

In the dark I stare at nothing
Yet something's staring back
its the night where my nightmares live
And hauntings of things I lack.

Darling, look at me,
Through this night that we can defeat
We'll march proudly and come to be
We'll see who boils under heat.

When the sun decides to wake
Darling, I will be there
When the sun comes up
I'll always be here.

Illusions
What is an illusion?
Life is an illusion...
Reality is cruel,
And then you ask yourself
“What am I doing with my life?”
That’s an illusion.

This world is full of deception and lies
Full of these illustrated illusions created by your inner most thoughts
Sometimes I wonder how many people I’ve looked at in my life… but never actually seen.
Have you ever stopped and just thought about pure existence?
Have you thought about nothingness?
It’s deep, no doubt, but not rocket science.


Can I ask you a question?
Do you want to live in an illusion?
Do you want to become the slaves of the common place!?
I know that I sure don’t.
I want to become the exception to ordinary,
the justice in the courts….

What is an illusion?
Illusion is simply trying to decipher reality.
Live your illusion to the fullest.