Once not long ago
In the vile state of Utah,
An evil wizard
Impregnated a feral cat with
Mormon seed.
In no time at all,
A litter was born
And all of them died
But one–
Mittens the Kitten.

Mittens grew up with a sense of entitlement
Because the evil wizard filled his head
With the Mormon scriptures.
When Mittens would catch and **** a mouse,
The evil wizard would pet Mittens
With a vigor that was borderline
Inappropriate.
Mittens was bred to ****.

In the evenings,
Mittens would enjoy a bowl of warm blood.
Sometimes it would coagulate,
But Mittens loved his blood.
He lapped it up
With a a vigor that was borderline
Inappropriate.
Mittens was bred to ****.

The evil wizard was a Harvard Business Grad,
And since feline-humanoids were not accepted
At Harvard Business School,
The evil wizard taught Mittens
All that he knew.
Mittens soaked up the knowledge
With a vigor that was borderline
Inappropriate.
Mittens was bred to ****.

Some years went by and Mittens
Became a successful business owner.
He would lap up bowls of
Other people's business
With a vigor that was borderline
Inappropriate.
Mittens was bred to ****.

Fast forward to the present tense
(My personal favorite tense)
And Mittens is running for president.
He uses his magical smirk to cloak his lies
So that naive voters might believe that
They should vote for this cat.
He smirks and he lies
With a vigor that is borderline
Inappropriate.
Mittens was bred to ****.

Maniacal thugs
Swap juices with sweet angels
On a moonless night.

The place was dangerous as hell; we had no business being there. It was a complex, composed of four immense structures, looming on the bluffs between Lake Michigan and a ghost town. I'm not sure which side of the fence brought forth more eeriness - the sight of four massive industrial skeletons was indeed an eerie one, but within the village that must endure it's haunting presence persists a dwindling heartbeat... and together they produced a heightened effect of slow decay - and that was what drew me in.

The place was magnificent day or night.

By day, we'd explore the groundworks while the light allowed us to admire the massive machinery, which by then had accumulated copious amounts of corrosion. All those dead giants, never to function again. In the spring time, beams of light would penetrate the ceiling above, caving in from years of stress sans stress tests. Even when the light was not shining through, one could make out where the beams have been because in their wake they left a trail of life. Up to that point in my life I thought that was the most beautiful scene I had ever seen - a thousand tons of old machinery, and a stubborn sunbeam poking through, incubating it's au natural industrialized chia pet.

By night, we would ascend to the rooftops of these four story horror stories and gaze up at the stars. Sometimes, when our ***** were feeling particularly swelled, we'd venture across the rooftops as if in some post-apocalyptic videogame. And sometimes when we were feeling a bit rebellious and artistic, we'd bring along some cans of spray paint and redecorate to our desire. Oh, and another reason the place reeked of death was surely due to it being a glue factory... wherein horses were killed in order to gain access to their foot-stuff. I was told by an unfortunate local that they'd bury the unwanted horse parts in big pits back behind the place... this man had told me that he fell into one while wandering around back there - nearly died trying to get out.

We knew the place was soon to be leveled, but we did not know when. Eventually I ended up moving out of state for a while, and alas, upon my return my childhood fascination was no more. shrugs... So it goes.

I was in a public restroom at the mall takin' a leak in one of those urinals.
There happened to be a TDH (tall dark and handsome) man standing next to me.
And as we were peeing in unison, I leaned over, leaned back,
Looked him in the eyes and said, "Nice ****, ******."

Why is he looking at my ****?
Is he gay?
Did he just call ME a ******?
Is he confused about his sexuality?
Why do I feel insecure about my **** all of a sudden?
What just happened?

I finished peeing before he did,
So I took my ***** self over to the sink and proceeded to wash my hands.
It wasn't long before TDH was by my side.
We were now washing our hands in unison and he looks over at me and says,
"Nice hands, ******."

Is he hitting on me?
Is he really gay?
Do I really have nice hands?
Does he want to touch them?
Is he just ******* with me?
I don't know what's happening but I like it =)

Turns out he wasn't gay... nor was I.  
We both just happened to be in the business of belittling strangers
With contradictory insults for no apparent reason.
It was a good day.

Babies in the microwave
Babies in the oven
Babies in a shallow grave
Babies need your lovin'

Babies smoking cigarettes
Babies cursing with tourette's
Babies in the garbage can
Babies on the ceiling fan

Babies reading Dostoevsky
Babies cruising on a jet ski
Babies naked on the beach
Babies fuzzy like a peach

Babies crying cuz you hurt them
Babies take it cuz they must
Babies lying cuz you hurt them
Babies I will never trust

Babies all of us once were
Babies drooling on the fur
Babies in the soup we stir
Babies life is all a blur.

Fat and disgusting,
the manatee eats and *****
with endangered grace.

Choreographed fits
awaken society
to its slow decline.

Politicians race
to win the seat but forget
how to act like men.

Why isn't there a
sociopath filter built
into the system?

It would appear that
most
Of these poems
Reflect broken hearts
and
Weighted bones.
Sitting, thinking,
All alone.
Surrounded by a happy home?
Or are you truly all alone?
Your misery a lonesome dome.
No family to scratch your back?
No bitter rival to attack?
No **** buddy to fill your cup?
So you stay empty,
Shriveled up.
I know that feeling,
Isolation.
Talk to someone,
Change the station.
There's more to life than
Hugs and kisses.
Do some drugs and
Find what bliss is.
Meditate atop a mountain.
Transform yourself into a fountain.
Let the water trickle down
Onto dead leaves that was your frown.
Or maybe torture **** a clown?
Whatever gets ya off, mate.

Millions of tiny could-bes
Swim upstream in hope
That they might someday
Grow up to release
Their brothers and sisters
All over your face
In a gooey, sticky mess
That makes it on the internet
So that millions of other
Tiny could-bes
Can be freed from their
Bulging testicular prisons.

I feel the blood of slaves as I cut my wrists with diamond blades.
I bleed for them as they bleed for your earrings.  
Your wedding rings.  Your pointless things.
That platinum chain that hangs down to your waist encrusted with ice;
I hope it gets caught in your oversized rims while you're hanging your head out the window
Trying to spit some game at a pair of graceful underage prostitutes.  
I hope it cuts your ******* head off right then and there.
And in that moment when the diamonds scatter across the pavement
In a mixture of your blood and their *****,
I hope a meteor shower shines over Africa-
Bringing smiles to slaves in and out of graves-
As if they've just been told what had happened.

Some time ago in the furnace below
Grew restless the ruler of sin;
He dug through His closet
Composed a composite
Consisting of a violin.

The underworld rang with
Delectable twang
As Lucifer plucked on His strings;
E'en angels flew down
Allured by the sound
Til Cerberus plucked off their wings.

Eventually Satan grew bored of this, too;
That thrill-seeking ******* must capture the new;
So up to the land of the living He flew;
Disguised as a figure whom everyone knew.

First on the agenda of any pretender:
Extinguish the genuine soul;
He arrived in Genoa
Disguised as a boa
And silently swallowed him whole.  

With Europe His playground
The Devil, He made sound
That no one alive had yet heard;
He fiddled and plucked,
Gambled and ******,
Until inside Him syphilis stirred.  

His physical shell He now had to retire;
Back to the depths of the black and the fire;
Forever above will the humans admire;
The legend of strings; the king; the sire.

I once bought a homeless man a big juicy steak and he said to me,
"But I haven't the means to cook this."  
And I replied, "Not my problem."

Hours on end
I stare at the ceiling;
Final conclusion-
There is no meaning.
Perhaps it will fall;
Fall without meaning.
The walls will then laugh
As they all begin leaning
Then fall, fall;
Fall without meaning.

I remove my shoes beside my bed;
Morning comes,
I trip and fall
And bust my head.
What a terrible place for shoes!

Evening comes and I sit down in my room
After working like a ******* idiot slave.
I remove my shoes,
But I feel the pain...
So I throw my shoes across the room.
Morning comes again;
I make my way to the bathroom
And before I know anything
I'm on the ground.
What a terrible place for shoes!

The day drags on as
Headaches and embarrassment
Follow me around throughout my daily adventures.
They laugh at me and grind my cells
So I take a few vicodin.
The day comes to an end and
In my opiated stupor
I remove my shoes and
Leave them by my bedside
Once again.
Morning comes
And I'm on the ground
For the third time.

This is it.
I've had enough.
No more ******* shoes
In the house.
I train myself to leave
All shoes in the front hall.
This should do the trick.
I wake up the next morning
And all the shoes are gone!
Christ... I must have forgotten to
Lock the front door.
**** kids...

Almond oil applied to fingers
Yet they continue to gum;
Sticky green forever lingers
On my fingers; on my thumb.

Cut em down,
Chop em up,
Trim em down,
String em up.

Johnny Cash blasts though the speakers,
Some will try to sing along;
Some will idly tap their sneakers
Even as they hit the ****.

Cut em down,
Chop em up,
Trim em down,
String em up.

It's Like, I don't care about nothin man...

sigh

I was gonna clean my room, but I'm too depressed...
I was gonna get up and find the broom but I'm such a mess...
my room is still messed up and I know why
why man?
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed...

sigh

I was gonna go to class but I'm so depressed...
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I'm such a mess.
I am taking it next semester and I know why,
why man?
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed...

sigh

I was gonna go to work but I'm too depressed
I just got a new promotion but I'm such a mess
now I've got a rope and I know why
why man?
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed...

sigh

I was gonna go to court but I'm so depressed
I was gonna pay my child support but I'm such a mess
they took my whole paycheck and I know why
why man?
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed...

sigh

I was gonna make love to you but I'm too depressed
I was gonna eat yo ***** too but I'm such a mess
now I'm jacking off and I know why,
why man?
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed...

sigh

I messed up my entire life because I'm depressed
I lost my kids and wife because I'm depressed
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
why man?
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed
  because I'm depressed...

sigh

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm depressed
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm depressed
and if I dont sell one copy I know why
why man?
  cause after this verse
  I'll be in a hearse
  cause I'm so depressed...

*sigh

Jesus Christ, 15 AD

Today was a good day. I sneaked away to the cave and lit a bush on fire so I could communicate with my father. I’m not sure why I even bother telling Him things because He already knows them… I guess I just like hearing his voice. Today I asked Him if it would be alright for me to start practicing my miracles… AND HE SAID YES!!! XD He says I need a lot of practice before I go taking it public because nobody would believe I’m the son of God if I ******* one up. Also, I’m pretty sure he wants to preserve his reputation… so I started practicing on sheep. It’s a good thing shepherds are already so far away from towns because if people witnessed what I was doing to these sheep PETA would be at my doorstep in a matter of days. For those of you who don’t know, PETA is an organization created by Satan for animals because he thinks it hilarious that they should have a place in heaven, too. HA HA SATAN, very funny…

So my first miracles were simple. I was to heal all of the injured sheep in my flock. This went over fairly well, until I came to the blind sheep. I tried healing her and her eyeballs melted right out her skull! REVERSE MIRACLE! REVERSE MIRACLE! I shouted as I waved my staff in a panic. Then in the background a bush lit ablaze, “Son, you know waving that staff around won’t cause anything to happen. Magic wands and staffs are pagan nonsense. Since your birth I’ve disabled all of their so-called magical instruments, so now they’re nothing but a bunch of ritualistic heathens.” Anyway, Father fixed the poor sheep’s eyes and I was scolded for harming the animal. He sometimes makes me flog myself…

Lunch: Stale bread and glass of water.

After lunch is training time. My father had me build a crucifix inside a cave hidden deep in the desert hills so that I can practice for the big day! I spend 2 hours a day roped to that cross, and another hour or so doing self-mutilation. More flogging. I keep asking Father if he’ll send me down a practice angel so that I don’t have to keep beating myself, but he said all the angels who were into that sort of thing migrated south… So here I am… alone… in a cave… fists full of blood and rope burned wrists. Heading home to watch my parents argue and maybe I’ll turn their water into laudanum so that I may have a decent night’s sleep.

I defecate in forms of riches
In the pockets of you *******;
Strangle egos with my hold,
Suffocate the young and old;
Thanks to man I'll never perish,
As long as something's there to cherish;
I have everything you need--
I'll swallow you, for I am greed.

A solid gold oak tree will shimmer and shine
And many a man will declare it as "mine;"
It'll stand firm and tall,
Keep its leaves in the fall,
And around it some humans will build a great wall.

A solid gold oak tree will draw the religious;
The meager, impoverished and the superstitious.
They'll come just to gaze
At the golden sun rays
Which reflect off its branches as if its ablaze.

A solid gold oak tree will cause a great war;
On one side the rich; on the other the poor.
They'll fight until civilization's no more,
And the gold will then melt back into the Earth's core.

I listen to this music when I have ******* with prostitutes.
At first they're like "*** is this?"
Then later they tell me "it's beautiful," and I say to them,
"I know.  I bet you wish you were that beautiful."
We both then laugh and she charges me full price.

You stole my little heart.
I know you did;
I saw you take it.
I watched as you cut me open
And removed the pulsating muscle.
You thought I was asleep,
But I let you take it.
I thought that if anyone should have it,
That person should be you.
So do with it as you please...
But I hope that you keep it near you.
It's served me well over the years,
And it's also proven to be a real ***** at times.
But it will keep you warm.
That I can guarantee.
Enjoy.

Toxic ads live-streamed through your wires and the airwaves
As though it's perfectly legal to pump out poisonous gasses
Straight into the public domain.
With democracy comes hypocrisy;
Biological warfare declared on
Innocent civilians whose vote matters,
And that's all that matters.
They reassure you with charming grins
While their eyes tell tales of all their sins.
The noise does not stop as they pay fortunes for
Propaganda time.
Hate spewing, gut-wrenching, fist clenching games
Held for the purpose of heading a nation in the right direction.
It's a shame that the game takes a toll on the soul,
No one stays the same when faced with the poll.
Enter the maze innocent, eyes a-glaze
Then when it spits you out
All that remains is a name.

Grandpa melted two squirrels together using the fat from their bodies after skinning the skin from their bellies.  They were dead before he began this project, of course.  He's a taxidermist.  
Grandpa is surely to blame for many a nightmare–
The jars of eyes and teeth collected from years of scraping corpses off the highway.
But as the Buddhists preach, I've found some blessings in his macabre pastime.  
Most of my friends shy away from the undesirable aspects of life;
Death bringing up the forefront.  
I feel that grandpa's melancholy menagerie has helped me
Cozy up to the idea that despite life's bountiful beauty,
A dark side coexists intertwined-
But darkness is not always
A bad thing...
Is it?

I use the word sin
In metaphor;
For I don't believe
Anymore
That there's a
Heaven or a Hell
Or a creator.

I say, "Thank God"
Facetiously;
For an open mind
Unleashes me
From placing my
Gratitude
With a magic dude.

I say, "*******"
Because people get offended,
Even though blasphemy
Is not what I intended.
The aesthetic appeal
Is just so splendid;
Two words juxtaposed,
So tenderly blended.

I got to where I am today
Without the aide of
Book-smarts
And being a nerd.
I beat up nerds,
Steal their girlfriends
And drive them to
My parent's summer house
In the Hamptons!
No, I don't need
Book-smarts
To graduate from
Harvard.
My tuition was prepaid
And business comes as natural to me
As does stealing your girlfriend!

Purchased at a drug store,
The cheap doll takes her first breath
As you remove her shiny afterbirth.
Her eyes are closed -
And they stay closed -
So that she doesn't have to
Endure your
Stupid grin.

The strapping young boys
Will play with their toys
And cause harm to er'one around.

They'll make lots of noise,
Colluded with poise,
Among them not a soul to be found.

It wasn't too long
Before they were turned on
To firm over in Illinois,

Where collusion has proven
A blooming conclusion
For all whom they choose to employ.

"Is this an illusion?"
Said one in confusion.
"I'm successful and happy and paid.

"I'm a millionaire
With brilliant hair,
And a beautiful dame of a maid!"

"Pardon my intrusion,
You've chosen profusion
O'er doing the world some good.

"Prepare for seclusion-
A lonely conclusion
Is knocking beneath your hood."

Diarrhea
Dairy Queen
Dainty Danes
Deluded Dean
Dog Eat Dog
Eat Dog Eat
**** and Die
*******
I'm High

Smothered in leftover sausage ham gravy
A liver-spotted sewer-swimin' baby
Crawls up to the dumpster as Ma and Pa
Dig din din out of the can can
Before the man man comes out with the pan pan
And smacks em' all up real good like.  
Homeless in the gutters rely on the
Percentage of Americans that aren't
Obese pieces of **** that finish not only
Their meals but their plates and silverware...
Some even eat the waitress.  
How fat must you be, America?

I sing you lies
Like Lullabies.
The guilt slides off me
And you'll never realize
That these wise eyes
Are a prized guise
Fashioned to capitalize
On cries
Off all shapes and size.
Cries for blood
Cries of pain
Cries for God
Cries in vain
Once you catch on
(you won't)
We'll label you insane.
In the meantime...
I'll be planning the next Holocaust
Miles above you on my
Jet plane.

Klonopin Clonazepam Sintonal Diazepam
Refill my Rivotril Don't spill my Risolid
Alprazolam Bretazenil Bromazepam Lexotanil
Dadumir Olcadil Nobrium Stilny
Halcion Hypnovel Tavor! Tavor! Tavor!
Gimme gamma-aminos but only if they're butyric
With Xanax as my hand ax; Anxiety, *This is War!

A man was abused,
Subsequently accused
Of molesting the battered and bruised.

Then along came a rumor
Which banished all humor;
Away he was sent... but they did find a tumor.

But fortune was not on the side of the man,
For he not a penny, no rich uncle, no land.

So inside his head the tumor did stay,
Thoughts of molesting remain to this day,
He'll go to his grave with a gleam in his eyes;
A gleam that ensures his secluded demise.

the floor turned into something strange and i fell through the floor.
in the basement looking up at clouds and lightning; kinda frightening.
tried to climb the stairs to reach the surface; there was nothing there.
by nothing i mean clouds and air; not my sofa nor my chair.
an angel flew to me from somewhere; kicked me in the face.
"you can't be up here, stupid boy." it morphed into an octopus.
octopus and angels? what? did someone drug me in my sleep?
i sat atop my dryer contemplating what to do.
the floor beneath the dryer also transformed into something strange.
my dryer and i fell through the sky for twenty-seven minutes.
we landed in a cemetery; our parts were tossed amongst the graves.
the acid rain then melted every living thing on earth away.

I have a cat.
I lied; I don't have a cat...

I pack heat so the ****** on the block don't **** with me.
I lied; I don't pack heat and those ****** **** with me every day...

I have oranges growing from orange trees in my greenhouse because I believe in growing my own food and living a healthy lifestyle.
I lied; I eat at McDonald's every day...

I don't do drugs.
I lied; I'm addicted to ****** and I'll abuse just about any substance you put in front of me...

I've got a lovely girlfriend who loves me just as much as I love her.
I lied; I'm single and lonely and I ******* like clockwork...

I write decent poetry.
I lied; This isn't a poem... it's a depressing heap of words I thought might pass for poetry...

I -
lied...

I'm actually extremely happy and optimistic and nothing in the world can stop me from achieving my--
*Yeah...right.

I stare in the mirror and what stares back?
An apoplectic apparition wishin' he could concentrate,
But wishin's only fishin' with a shoe string and a roll of tape.
Paranoia resonates, the social pressures shower down,
Gleaming rays of expectation force a smile upon my frown.
The neverending battle wages on between myself and I,
Then there's me and him and her and them and us~
So what's the fuss?  You paid a hefty fee to ride with us
Upon the crazy bus.  
Buy the ticket, take the ride.
What's the matter, too much pride?
Untie your demons, let us fly.
****.
The knot has come undone.
Next time I'll have to use the gun.
But without us you'll be no fun!
That might be true...
Here's what I'll do.
I'll take these drugs to silence you
When I'm within the public view.
Then at night I'll let you out,
This rhyme scheme is getting kind of boring.
Yeah....

And then a little voice inside me said,
"Maybe you should get out of bed,
Do more drugs
And play Skyrim."

So I did.

Some people perceive the act of
******* on a grave
To be a gesture of crude rudeness.
I couldn't disagree more.
How else is one to interact with the dead?
Digging them up is rather time consuming-
Not to mention illegal-
Whereas your ***** provides a direct stream-
A stream of warmth; life-
Straight down to your loved one.
Their physical situation is already on its way
To becoming one with nature.
I know if I were down there
I'd welcome any and all to
Stand or squat.
Help me rot.

May the furnace burn us
So that we might rise from crash's ashes
Like the Phoenix as Felix
Pounds out a bravado sonata
Something brash and passionate
Like abstract fashion it
Causes conundrums among tongues
Flapping, rolling, lapping, growing
Synaptic tactics mapping spastic
Canals through the fungal jungles
Of minds melting from psilosybin I been
Growing dendrites as my pen writes
Reaching Zen heights while the men fight.

If you found a cork in the seafloor
Would you pull it out?
If you found a switch on the sun
Would you flip it off?
If you found a ****** ******* on the moon
And it was only you and her,
Would you **** her?
I bet you would...

It's been almost a year since the apprehension.
Almost a year since they grabbed me off the highway
With their assumptions and lies.
Guilty until proven innocent is how they view you on the street.
It might be a different story in the courtroom,
However,
Out on the desolate interstate there's not much one can do
To keep them from infiltrating your right to privacy.
What is privacy anyway?  Does it even exist anymore?
A few simple clicks can open up one's entire life;
Locations, relatives, work history, criminal record.
And on the highway,
All it takes is a few simple lies;
Do you know how fast you were going?
What's that smell? Please step out of the car, sir.
And shortly thereafter I was on my way to the lovely
Tooele County Detention Center.

I was afraid at first...
Never having been to jail before.
But I think what I feared the most was having to face my parents.
I knew full well how disappointed they'd be.
I knew full well how they'd do everything in their power to get me out,
Despite the fact I was comfortable and relatively safe.
Nothing could prepare me for the onset of tears I could literally see over the phone...
And I haven't seen them since...
My parents, that is.  

I think about how much of a burden I've been on them over the years...
Racking up piles of juvenile offenses;
Underage consumption of alcohol;
Underage possession of marijuana;
Underage possession of tobacco;
Operating without a license;
Operating while suspended;
You can't park here, you ******* idiot - give us your stupid money.

What is there to be proud of in that?
Is this how I repay the people who brought me into this world?
Yet they bear no grudge--
Only love.  

Perhaps I should reconsider my line of work...

For some,
There's no escaping the daily grind;
Only the inexplicable tortures which plague the mind.
For others, however, there's a blooming gap
Which presents itself
In the form
Of a nap.

How simple a pleasure;
An enchanting endeavor.
Those words do not rhyme,
Though I do not care,
For I've just awoken and tainted the air;
Clouds of tobacco smoke poison my lair.

A dream lingers briefly so I jot it down.
Angels from heaven appear -
Oh the sound!
An orchestra plays something I've never heard;
It's hauntingly beautiful -
Mildly absurd.

A box pushed its way to the surface through dirt
And inside the box is a sparrow;
It's hurt.
I do what I can
To help it to heal,
But a cat comes along and decides it's a meal.

"I know you're a cat, and that's what cats do,
But wouldn't you say you were just a bit rude?"

It replies in baritone, southerly voice,
"I am what I am and I hadn't a choice.
I'm driven by instinct,
As you may not be;
However, these feathers
Taste curiously..."

The cat then exploded;
Its innards now out.
That bird was a bomb,
I haven't a doubt.

And I think I'm doin' alright
Despite the heightening
Conservative right - wing,
I think there might be a fight,
Yeah it's ******' frightening.

In my Omicronicopia lies little rows of little o's ~
My chronic omniphobia ties little bows in my little hose ~
This ******* like a rose it knows to waft it's way into my nose ~
It shivers and my innards froze from blizzards blowing up my nose ~

I toy around with words and feelings ~
Dissecting verbs - insert new meanings ~
Pit a noun against your frown ~
And rediscover means of healing ~

As I slide
In and out of
This world,
The bed burns cold
And I feel like I'm
About to hurl.
Screaming softly,
Ragged boat
Glides over
Jagged hope.

Lusting feelings, tormented soul.
Close your eyes,
(Or don't) I swallow you whole.
I feel you kick and scream,
As you fall down-
Down deep inside me.

Ripping apart
As our souls collide,
We are becoming one-
You're all of my pain.
My body will soothe me
And start over again.
One.

Atop my ragged head doth sit
A candle - planted firm - alit.
Wax drips down upon my face;
I've long forgotten how it tastes.
It serves it's purpose in my room;
Eschewing demons spewing doom.

When I'm at home it shines so bright,
But when I exit -  day or night -
A breeze extinguishes the light.

People see me and I shudder,
Try to speak but only stutter.
Why can't my candle just stay lit?
If only for a little bit?
You know I got an app for that?
Oh Yeah?
*No, get a ******* hat

Lethargic mornings are healthy for no one,
Except maybe a sloth.
My alarm clock sounds off a generic melody
I could have composed in my sleep,
But I'm sure some corporate tiger got paid
At least five hookers and an eight ball
To lay down that track.
*******....  That's what I need right now.
Coffee is nice, and it's even nicer
With *******.

Hurricane Sandy you sure are a dandy,
What with your winds and your rain.
Your pandemic endeavor is truly a pleasure
To watch, but for many a pain.

Oh Hurricane Sandy, sweeter than candy,
Wash it all down, down the drain.
We'll clean up the mess and invest in the best
Infrastructure and buildings and brains.

Hurricane Sandy won't you come in handy,
My country's gone ******* insane.
This phony election's in need of correction-
Just wash it all down, down the drain.

******* mother ******* *******'s father ******* niece.
******* **** slashing triple dog **** **** **** the ****** Mary in her ****** ***.
Pass the blood around in a goblet and sip so that you might not give a ****.
Hit your mother; hit your wife; hurt your family; but don't touch the animals...
They don't deserve it.

Decapitation plus
My ***** on your chin
Equals severed head.

Chained to a stop sign–
Your body twitches for a while
But I do not stop.

I wonder how it would feel
To penetrate your eye socket
And plow through your brain.

Perhaps my little soldiers
Will give you something
To think about...

Screaming Spades Scare Spastic Diamonds,
Clumsy Clubs Carefuly Cut the Deck,
Horrible Hearts Hum Hymns from Hell
With the Jokers and Jacks, where the Demons Dwell.
Twos and Threes Tear Through the Trees
While Fours and Fives Flail Franticly,
Free Falling From Far-Fetched Facilities.
Six and Seven Slowly Sufficate
As Evil Eights Eradicate Everything on Earth.
Nasty Nines Need Narcotics and ****** for
Terrorizing Tens Tendorizing Tremendous Tributaries
Feeding the Fifty Five Forrests of Fargoth