I see you and my hands start to shake
they keep getting worse
I can tell be how the alcohol bottle is shaking, glass looking as fragile as me.
I cover it up with another shot.
I can feel you watching me
we're close
I look at you and hold your stare
to show you that I'm not intimidated and please don't look at my hands
Your lips twitch into a smile
That breaks me more than the look in your eyes
How can a smile so sweet belong to someone with eyes so empty, cold, inviting, predatory.
We're so attracted to eachother, I can't stop myself from pressing against you, you don't care enough to stop. Apparently either do I.
Your kiss does something to me, sets me on fire so to speak.
The only thing I can think about.
I can't help kissing you or your neck
grazing my teeth along burning skin
I can't help but want to sink my teeth into what's mine.
But then I stop. Because you are not mine and you don't want to be. That alone is what makes me turn around and leave.

Winter comes and so do I
we started out with your hand on my thigh
then we got high
and (I'm) leaving without saying goodbye
because who the **** is still warm when its this cold and why are you still holding me when I'm colder?
I need alcohol
my cheeks flushed and your breath warm
why do my hands shake all the time
while yours stay warm and still
mocking me
knowing I get lost in the heat.
I bet cold is uncrackable
you shatter me with a kiss.
Why play games when you can just kiss?
Why be gentle with a boy with warm fists?
Why cover bruises you told him to make?
Why have feelings when you can have him
God I love to touch and tear your skin
who the **** let you in?
Who the **** said you could look at me like that?
Hate always welcomes me back.
Winter let's me in.
Flames beg to reside in my lips and skin.
You think I cannot burn?
You think my eyes are soft because there blue?
I'll slit your throat with a look
I'll match my lipstick color to the blood.
Just because my cheeks and my alcohol is warm doesn't mean I am.
Let me tell you a story about the time I fell (in love).
Let me tell you a story about how I became the cold of the ground I fell on in winter when you told me I was to young to love so deeply and that because of it I'll always be hurting
But now let me tell you about what I do to stay cold
I'm always getting over someone
underneath another on their sheets in their bed because if I can't stay well my scent will
and if he can't remember me
your bed will remember my shape
and your walls liked my silence and my moans
You liked my golden hair.
The only part of me I allowed to hold light.
I could make you love me
if I wasn't already in love (with the way you **** me)

My god you are every star i fell in love with when i was little.
You are every wave that loves to crash into my body.
You are every drop of moonlight that i plead with to touch your skin too.
You are every strand of sunlight hitting water.
Every late night swim.
Every late night poem.
Every tremor of my hands.
Every breath of fresh night air.
Soft morning light.
I am nothing to you.

I swear to god it would feel better if you were shouting bitter words
starring at me with anger lit eyes
shaking hands pushing me away
fist clenched
strained voice
anything.
Anything to show me that i have some effect on you.
Don't cut me out.
Don't forget about me.

She is fire, she is ice.
She is the tides
She is the controlling factor of the tides.
"Stay away from forests, boys with sparks in their eyes, bridges."
You cannot hide the fire under your skin
in your fluttering eyes
shaking hands begging to strike a match.
But don't stay away from love because i've never seen you fuel anything better.
It's the cold that gets you
constant shivers
numb
emotionless.
Test my chilling wrath.

You touch my skin and cringe,
you avoid eye contact with me and i either love you for it
or hate you for it.
Is your heart cold or is mine?
Whose hands shake more?
When did i become the one cringing?
Maybe i'm just trying to free myself from your presence.
Take off your hold on my heart, lungs, mind,
before i break your hand.

If i don't see god when i kiss him,
if he doesn't make my knees give out and fall to the floor,
then what reason do i have to believe in him?
You've always said i have a sinners smile,
let me show you what it looks like to be broken.
Let me show you what it feels like to be heartless.