It's snowing.
Maybe that is why you did not call.
It's Tuesday.
Maybe you've got your back against a wall.
It hurts.
That I can only guess.
It's annoying.
My heart is such a mess.

Reach for me-
Even if it's too far...
I still feel the current in the wind
As you lift your arm.

My eyelids are heavy
But you said resistance is futile
My mind is slowly drifting
But you are the ocean
My thoughts have floated miles in
But you cannot here me
My head is only loud inside
But I'll speak loud one day
Because you said resistance is futile.

I want to take pictures with you
I want to capture all the moments
The moments worth remembering
But if it's you, every second's worth the lingering
You see I only want the photographs
If you are in them with me
To capture the entire past
We have yet to live or laugh
I'm hoping you will want to take them
Display them on your shelf
Cause I will do the same with mine
To inspire me with all my rhymes
Displaying something is a statement
Meaning that you care
Enough to show the passers-by
The things that make you, you and why.
If someone where to ask "who's that?"
Would you tell them all about me
Would your eyes glow as you spoke
Like something inside you just awoke
I know if someone asked me the same
My heart would swell 3 sizes
One for your eyes, one for your heart
One for all the memories we had apart
I want to take pictures with you
Images so that we won't forget
What love looks like when we want to quit.

save my heart
wrap it up
keep it beating from the start

don't let me look
from left to right
at those who'll take it part by part

his eyes are kind
his hands are strong
but his soul could do me wrong

i know it's safe
but i'm not patient
keep me from his temptation

Lord hold my heart
until i find
the man who's hands are big enough

Feeling wanted is like a drug
It gets in your veins and you can't get enough
The problem is the wanter could be wrong
And he wants you and you want him to belong
In your life so that you stay satisfied
With that drug that he has supplied
But after grasping at handfuls of air
You look down and realize nothing is there
He is like trying to fill a bottomless pail
With a water of emotions, it fails
So after all the trial and error you see
The pail won't fill cause he doesn't own keys
To happiness living deep in your soul
He is the wrong wanter and won't make you whole

I will NOT be the girl
That pines away for you
Fish or cut the bait
Cause there might be someone new
And I can't see his eyes
Cause you're blocking my view

The nights are getting lonelier
I get all in my head
Sometimes I feel my body
sometimes the weight's just dead.

I wish that he would miss me
I wish I could be fine
I wish I could convince myself
he's not where freedom lies.

The days are getting colder now
Yet I lay here alone
Wrapped in a blanket made
with something far from home.

This is it I'm out of breath
You took my last one from me
And in my peak of diziness
My heart becomes decieving
I'm in more anguish than you know
I can't remember silence
My fingers struggle to let go
My chest still beats with violence
Even as I'm writing this
The page is getting blurry
Sadness writes these words
But left unrestrained it's fury
I'm not so sure it's rage towards you
But anger towards condition
You say in your "current state"
You wouldn't be my best addition
Give it up already!!!
I'm so tired of pretense
I catch a glimpse of soul
So now you've put up your defense
The days drag on longer, still
And life is ever-changing
I seek distraction for hours fill
But to you I'm always revolving
With distraction comes destruction
And I'm writhing in my flesh
I know you aren't my Savior
And my Savior doesn't test
It's reality, exhibit A
Of my own desire
I feel it now conceiving
Giving birth to a stone cold liar
All that being said
I'm now dragging on my pen
I love you, I miss you
And I wish I didn't have to pretend

If I go anywhere in the world alone
I know that I am not at home
The view is nice, the weather good
But I don’t see it like I should
If I set out across state lines
Even just for a little time
An empty hole within my heart
Reminds me home and I are far apart
But now I realize something true
Home is not a place, in fact
Home is my person, home is you

Let's go anywhere, you choose-
Cause I'll be home, no matter the view

The blossoms aren't there anymore
The trees turned to green
It's funny how everything's not how it seemed

Your flowers have died
They hang on my wall
But I know this time, for sure
You'll never call.

Instead of a rainbow
of springtime and ease
My life's turned to darkness
Though it's summer's Eve.

To say that there is nothingness
behind your deep blue eyes
Is like saying nothing lies
Beneath the ocean's tide
But you and I both know
That the vast blue forever
Is more than just a moving floor
The see-through layer holds so much more
There are secrets undiscovered
There is unmarked terrain
There are deep dark caverns
There is joy and there is pain.
Am I speaking of the ocean still?
Perhaps I never was.
I look into your eyes and feel
Something more exists, it does
You may deny my current thoughts
And that's ok, you know
But i'm aware your topaz eyes
Are the windows to your soul.

Maybe if I go to sleep,
then my mind will rest.
It's wide awake and won't shut up,
though I've tried my best.
To silence thoughts inside my head
is harder than it should be.
My emotions drown my logic out,
oh, dark rest come quickly.
Close my eyes and tuck me in,
wrap me in the night.
Filter through the loudest thoughts,
let quiet win the fight.
Once the night is tangled up
inside my weary head,
maybe then I'll get some sleep
and wake up in a silent bed.

It's rushing through my veins
 Speeding up a slower pulse
  It only causes pain
   When I know I can't get close
    I try to block it out
     Try and keep it far away
      But I hear Satan breathing
       And black and white turns grey
        Desire is like honey
         It runs thicker than my blood
          I'd try and stop the bleeding
           But on my own I'm not that good

If what you see and what you touch
Is the only thing you think is real,
I beg a question of your brain
pertaining to what your hands can't feel.
Do you believe that Love exists?
Cause your opinions counteract.
The way you look at me, it seems,
You believe in the abstract.
So tell me now if you disagree,
I will not be surprised.  
I'll accept your answer cordially
but I'll know you just told a lie.

You don't want to love me
I'm hung up on someone else
My heart is in his closet
Hanging on the shelf

I wanna love you back
But I can't without my heart
The closet door is locked
And i've turned pining into art

Your eyes are filled with hope
Your intentions don't seem bad
I want to know your soul
But I don't want to make you sad

So keep your laugh away
Because I love the way it sounds
And Keep your heart inside
Because my love won't come around

You don't want to love me
Because I want to love you back
But my mind's hung up on fiction
And my heart's under attack

She poured out herself
Like the oil and vase
The flow never stopped
Full of patience and grace
Maybe grace was too steady
Was it excuses instead?
Cause the weight was too heavy
"Nothing's wrong" she had said

I think your soul walked in one day,
he walked into my heart.
Way back in the summer haze,
when we strolled around the park.
Normally I'd make him leave,
my ribs are not hospitable.
But he was no guest at all, you see,
he made himself so comfortable.
Stranger still, he found my soul
even in her hiding.
As if he knew right where to look,
and she put up no fighting.
Instead she made a place for him
and wanted him to stay.
Because she knew that day they met,
she'd never want him far away.

You make me mad.
Or is it sad?
I can't decide.

I played with fire.
Burnt my hands.
Should've known how that pans.

So mad it is.
But not at you
At me, because I wanted you.

Short and sweet
But you aren't short
And life's not sweet
But I'll try to be:
I miss you
Wish you
Missed me too

I have replayed what I'd say to you
Time and time again
If our paths did cross
If we ever spoke again
I promised to myself
I wouldn't be the first to speak
But here I am writing this
My heart's starting to leak
Forgive me for my forwardness
I just can't hold it in
If I stay quiet any longer
I'll implode from within:

208 days have past
It's really sad, it is
I'm keeping track of the days
Since I've seen you last
Does that scare you away?
I would turn and run
But see I can't stop falling
When I've already begun
It started forever ago
At least that's what it seems
I'd watch you talk to her
But we'd talk in my dreams
The 'her' left you mistreated
And I saw you break apart
Watching you suffer
Was like a dagger to my heart
Then we hiked a mountain
Something happened to my soul
I felt something draw me in
Like the stories that are told
I waited, though I shouldn't
And I only was let down
Not once, not twice,
But three times I hit the ground
In the midst of all of that
I realized something new
That I would lay my life down
I would lay it down for you
Crazy that I'd say that
But I can't deny what's real
I tried so hard to forget
I tried harder not to feel
You'd think that I'd be hurt
Enough to turn away
But something keeps me here
And your memory won't fade
I've tried everything I can
Everything to no avail
You're floating in my head and heart
Since the day you first set sail
You are waiting for a right time
But life goes by so fast
Never is there perfect moment
To make what counts last
So grab me by my face
Tell me "this will never work!"
That is the only way
To lose the feelings that lurk
And after all this spilling out
Am i just the obsessive freak?
Or is this silence killing you?
Is your heart starting to leak?

I used to be a better writer
maybe cause i had more to give
You