I have replayed what I'd say to you
Time and time again
If our paths did cross
If we ever spoke again
I promised to myself
I wouldn't be the first to speak
But here I am writing this
My heart's starting to leak
Forgive me for my forwardness
I just can't hold it in
If I stay quiet any longer
I'll implode from within:

208 days have past
It's really sad, it is
I'm keeping track of the days
Since I've seen you last
Does that scare you away?
I would turn and run
But see I can't stop falling
When I've already begun
It started forever ago
At least that's what it seems
I'd watch you talk to her
But we'd talk in my dreams
The 'her' left you mistreated
And I saw you break apart
Watching you suffer
Was like a dagger to my heart
Then we hiked a mountain
Something happened to my soul
I felt something draw me in
Like the stories that are told
I waited, though I shouldn't
And I only was let down
Not once, not twice,
But three times I hit the ground
In the midst of all of that
I realized something new
That I would lay my life down
I would lay it down for you
Crazy that I'd say that
But I can't deny what's real
I tried so hard to forget
I tried harder not to feel
You'd think that I'd be hurt
Enough to turn away
But something keeps me here
And your memory won't fade
I've tried everything I can
Everything to no avail
You're floating in my head and heart
Since the day you first set sail
You are waiting for a right time
But life goes by so fast
Never is there perfect moment
To make what counts last
So grab me by my face
Tell me "this will never work!"
That is the only way
To lose the feelings that lurk
And after all this spilling out
Am i just the obsessive freak?
Or is this silence killing you?
Is your heart starting to leak?

If what you see and what you touch
Is the only thing you think is real,
I beg a question of your brain
pertaining to what your hands can't feel.
Do you believe that Love exists?
Cause your opinions counteract.
The way you look at me, it seems,
You believe in the abstract.
So tell me now if you disagree,
I will not be surprised.  
I'll accept your answer cordially
but I'll know you just told a lie.

To say that there is nothingness
behind your deep blue eyes
Is like saying nothing lies
Beneath the ocean's tide
But you and I both know
That the vast blue forever
Is more than just a moving floor
The see-through layer holds so much more
There are secrets undiscovered
There is unmarked terrain
There are deep dark caverns
There is joy and there is pain.
Am I speaking of the ocean still?
Perhaps I never was.
I look into your eyes and feel
Something more exists, it does
You may deny my current thoughts
And that's ok, you know
But i'm aware your topaz eyes
Are the windows to your soul.

This is it I'm out of breath
You took my last one from me
And in my peak of diziness
My heart becomes decieving
I'm in more anguish than you know
I can't remember silence
My fingers struggle to let go
My chest still beats with violence
Even as I'm writing this
The page is getting blurry
Sadness writes these words
But left unrestrained it's fury
I'm not so sure it's rage towards you
But anger towards condition
You say in your "current state"
You wouldn't be my best addition
Give it up already!!!
I'm so tired of pretense
I catch a glimpse of soul
So now you've put up your defense
The days drag on longer, still
And life is ever-changing
I seek distraction for hours fill
But to you I'm always revolving
With distraction comes destruction
And I'm writhing in my flesh
I know you aren't my Savior
And my Savior doesn't test
It's reality, exhibit A
Of my own desire
I feel it now conceiving
Giving birth to a stone cold liar
All that being said
I'm now dragging on my pen
I love you, I miss you
And I wish I didn't have to pretend