i wish you were still just my best friend.
that i didn't feel so obligated to tell you only the things going on in my head that you want to hear, like how my day was or how much i love you. (even though those things matter too)
because sometimes i want to tell you the things i only scream when i'm alone, the things that keep me up at night and make me cry in my car in an empty parking lot.
those things matter too, and sometimes i wish you were still just my best friend.

everything always comes back to me in a wave of overwhelming remeberance
and it's at this time that i try to dissect my life and what the **** my purpose is

ill leave the door unlocked after you leave
in case you decide to come back

nobody tells you how hard love is,
they just tell you "it's worth it,"
and that it's "so beautiful."
but nobody tells you how much
it can also all hurt.
because why would you want to know
the truth about love is
how it's not all that beautiful
sleeping next to the person you love,
just to feel miles apart.

i was born
with a heart too big to fit
inside my chest
and a soul bigger than my body
so i have chosen
to leave pieces of my heart
in the places my feet have known
in the people i have loved
in the words i have read
in the beauty my eyes have seen
and my soul-
i have scattered it like seeds
and i have left parts of it
in songs,
in poetry,
in the laughter of children,
in the arms that have held me
and the hearts that have loved me

when i'm with you
and you look at me
i know you see me
the way i have always seen myself
when i'm with you
i feel like i am every star in the sky
and when i'm with you
i feel infinite and more than what i am
i forget my feet because you give me wings
and i am not afraid to fly
when i am with you
you turn into rain and i turn into flowers