There are many ways to be a rebel,
Some quietly and independently,
Conformance to the rebel be the devil,
Ye rebels with visions of lucidity,
Thy fiery revolts at absurdity


Sam@110718

drowning in toxic blends
girl I'm spinning on you
knowing how it's going to end
it ain't nothing new
to the dungeons I descend
where every dream is tossed
the smoke so thick within
over years the yearning lost

waiting to be ensouled
to be me ain't whole
in the darkest light
black dress in the night
too blind to see through
I can barely see you
waiting to be ensouled
still waiting to be ensouled

doll you have that gaze
but my look is long and cold
the desolation daze
the confinement where I hole
set in my singular ways
I'm not a free soul
a prisoner within me lays
your hand too soft to hold

waiting to be ensouled
...

listening to the blues
hey babe close your eyes
and the sound soothes
I tell you forgiving lies
"it don't matter, ain't no use"
while my hope dies
it's darkness that I choose
chained in shackles and agonized

waiting to be ensouled
...

-Sam@082618

da da dun da dun da dun
dun da dun da dun
da da dun da dun da dun
dun da dun da dun

there's a flash-- of lightning
lighting up the clouds
then in silence-- hiding
before the thunder sounds
and the sky falls to rain
and the earth quakes again
.
.
.
there's a rock-- sits rugged
dying in the shine
where before-- it bled
with colors inline
they coursed-- through veins
when it was alive
yeah the sky falls to rain
yeah the earth quakes again
.
.
.
there's silver-- set skies
to horizons of land
reflected-- in your eyes
shadows on wet sand
before the beach dies
by the flames that 'r fanned
yeah the sky falls to rain
and the earth quakes again
.
.
.
there's a portrait-- 't burns
smoldering to scatter
the atoms-- of remains
to times that matter
the sparks-- to our dreams
igniting 'ey shatter
yeah the sky falls to rain
ooh the earthquakes again
and the earth quakes again..


Sam@070118

like in a mirror I'm searching
up at the stars I stare
never seeing the one reflecting
hollow in my despair
surrounded by humanity
I know that you're there
probability is the cruelty
that I'll never know where
reality is my sadness
keeps me distant alone
awareness my incompleteness
what forever I've known
impossibility the madness
and to solutide that's home
I'll welcome each wanderer
share the art where I roam
.
.
.
sure to never see her

Sam@041618

I miss your carefree stare
The curve of your bottom
When you text on your belly
I miss the places where your skin darkens
That are briefly visible
When you are playful
I miss how soft you are to hold
How you disappear into your silken hair
that cascades contentedly
When you hide and seek in the sheets that drape you
ode to the sadness of the moments end
The before and after you
I glimpse it finitely


Sam@011018

with the tides that crash against me
the more I slip out to the edges
from black rocks I'm on barely
you pull me to the storm that rages
I'm the beast within your beauty
you're the book of soft pages
I caress and turn slowly
adrift in you for ages
I picture you only
and when I stare into the darkness
the devils words enslave me
and his thunder is the cages
yet darker are the eyes that save me

Sam@010718

A walking zombie in the day
an awakened dead at night
not feeling anything that you say
no need to show me that you're right
as the moonlight shimmers on the bay
my veins burst out in my eyes
ain't no roses down my way
where a restless ocean lies
unchartered waters lay
hailing men that dive and die
above the surface might seem okay
what's underneath may terrify

-Sam@112317

letting the alarm ring out to the full
lost within a dreams rule
sounds of the world drowned out
dreading a hangover of doubt
a wake of being drunk alone
all b-b-b-bad to the bone
peace in the darkness of nights
fearing clear daylight
dissipating on the outside
seeping out from the inside
extravasating
then evaporating

-Sam@111717

every time that you came
and every place possible
has never been the same
'cause you're another animal
an entirely different game

at times yu're so wild
other times mildly tame
always a different mood
it's visible in yur frame
or is that how it's viewed

I can tell it 'n yur eyes
before a spoken word
how real you are es nice
not a fantasy that's blurred

still yu're like roll'ng dice
we're a theatre of absurd
me and all yur sides
hardly know'ng all yur worlds
or how they coincide

Sam@110917

the afternoon sun shatters in through the leaves
shards streak the stucco shaded by the eaves
crashing on the steps at the tall open door
on the cool concrete floor her cheeks take a seat
long legs folding, rays kissing her feet
bare skin draped a divine golden hue
one arm 'cross the waist covering a breast,
the other hand under curls caressing her neck
as her mellow glance greets the shadows on the ground
soft sadness lips that dissolve at the soul
long straight nose to dark brooding eyes
lost in the moment she's right there to hold
wanting for strength that comforts her cause
yet how cruel life's timing unfolds
dull ache beating to the seconds of her pause

Sam@103017

In my dreams
I see other sides
To the world we live
Filtered in the lids of my eyes

In those dreams
We're caked in mud hardened by time
As we crawl the land
Like we're strong and fine
But we're brittle like castles of sand

I dream that we saw each other
Our true state and not the lies
And we broke that outer crust
Scooped it out of our eyes
Shedding layers of dried mud
chipping it from our thighs
cracking like dried blood
dropping the rotting guise

I dream that we stood exposed
just skin and bones
Tender and bruised
raw in smooth softness
the water our thirsts embraced

But as my dream continued
the rising sun reddens
as it burns we're separated
the outer crud resurfaces
Into that world we're refabricated
re-skinned by the mud that hardens
in my dream we're ill fated

Sam@081017

I would welcome you into my solitude
If you didn't steal its magnitude

Sam@080517

it's loneliness and misery
self-imposed solitude
in detox from gaiety
living my darkest mood
unleashing my angry self
in honesty all ****
subsisting in depression
hitting the hopeless bottom
being forgotten
by any I've known
being unforgiven
by any I've wronged

then
to draw her wondrous eyes
from the only face I see
letting myself rise
floating in our ecstasy
and to let the drawing burn
just to do it over again
if she asks me how much
if she asks me my plan

it's loneliness and misery
self-imposed solitude
...

Sam@072217

I imagine a fresco
I've painted on my ceiling
you centered in the plaster
stretching out your hair
curling swirls of shadows
dark hair, dark brows, dark lashes
glossy black for your eyes
so they can reflect me writhing
trapped in the paint of my pain
a silhouette in the sheets
willingly lain

Sam@071617

I'll be the reflection
that fogs to your sighs
up close to your face
To the explosion of colors in your eyes

Sam@071017

the sunset conceding to the glimmering pool lights
cool water ripples with the blowing breeze
thirty two hours between two flights
two bottles lay empty beside your sheets
your smile was sweet and sultry and fine
your eyes were gleaming as they searched my face
then your legs in the water wrapped around mine
as I wished to be drowning in that tight embrace

Sam@062817

strands of platinum purple hair
dispersing the sun's light rays
to the violet tats that lay bare
hiding in lace lingerie
blindfold covering your anxious stare
coal black lipstick saying I dare

shapely stiletto thigh highs
zipped and laced tightly tied
quads to calves in raw hide
hips shaking as your cheeks slide
straddling the table like it's a ride
your every move is bona fide

Sam@062717

When I'm dead or dying
life may be a narrative
from intro to my ending
yet not while I'm alive.
I'm enjoying my suffering
those nine to five
sunrises in the evening
burning negatives in the light,
I'm a tragedy progressing
with no ending in sight.

timelines go missing
from chapters to verses
without a single beginning
short stories in series
no ****** or closing
not inter-connected
by theme or by rhyming.

I'm often interrupted...
every crisis I'm messing
spirits spilling into writes
every choice I'm confessing
undone by my nights.
I'm a tragedy progressing
with no ending in sight.

Sam@060817

whenever you arrive
I look into your eyes,
those glittering darlings
those deep pools of sadness
reflections on gladness,
knowing all you see is me
and my field of vision you
it's like we've leapt ahead of time,
spatial silence beyond a barrier
everything else a background blur
earthly troubles far behind us
the lens of focus on our moment.
you are my art, you are my soul
you are my way out of control.

Sam@060317

into you is into humanity;
from that humanity
with which you connected me
not what we became
nor what we appear to be.

from your body of art and beauty;
not to have and to hold
being able to just behold
the soulful look in your face
that you shared with me.

Sam@052617

I long to be alone forever with just you
to have the living in my being be you
as the quietness in my soul aches for you
the singularity of everything is expressed in my seeing you
and with every tormenting thought I have of you
I hate that my inspiration is reduced to you

my only visible light was you
the air in my lungs was the aura around you
every flavor I could taste was my sense of you
a feeling too extreme doomed to outlast you
it kills me to wish I had never known how it felt to touch you
but if I could go back in time the only thing I could do
the only act of mercy would be never meeting you
instead of my every line ending with you

Sam@050717

The waves in your dark hair
that catch the light
that gives it shades of brown
as it falls around your face
and lands softly on your shoulders
reveal your tiger eyes.

they pierce the soul of its prey
peering into its past lives
skinned and naked to your gaze
as you savor the taste of its flesh
blood coloring your savage lips.

you're the top of the food chain.
there's nothing delicate about you.
other men would long for your body.
I'm forever haunted by your face,
the prey to your tiger eyes.

Sam@042117

your wine at nine

Wondering where you might be
But knowing what you would be doing
That at this time you'd be sipping your wine
whereever you are, whomever you're with.
I wish I was with you for an hour every night at nine.
I miss talking to you when you have that glass,
And you're playing with it in your hand.
Because you ask me the strangest questions
And you're in that mood in your mind,
When you laugh at my straight answers,
mocking me for being as serious as I'm inclined.
While you're enjoying your wine,
I hide that I enjoy making you smile,
In the night's dimming light of nine.

Sam@041517

It's hell to be the ones we love.

Daylight shadows disguised in trees
To shadows in curtains blowing in the breeze
While exploring those legs, smooth and long
Your eyes glazed, soothed in songs.
but not in love,
That emotion, needing to be void of.

For it's hell to be the ones we love.
The ones in life we used to adore.
Other stars brighter as days grow darker,
the moon eclipsing the sun before
Thinking together we knew us better
Than anybody who claimed to know us more.
That our closest friend was you a stranger
Was the strangest paradox of life we swore.

It's hell to be the ones we love
That which is born of many hard years
Held to a golden standard above.
Every year together, the bloodier the tears
Tormenting vows, rebelling in actions,
Questioning truths, shaking their fears
Shooting pain killers to dull those emotions,
Then killing those fears as the end nears.

It's hell to be the ones we love.

Enticed by new eyes that glaze in ecstasy
Abandoning old eyes that crave for love.

under the blanket of mundane

covered in sheets of disdain

the devil chases your allusion

while god conceals you in his shadow

where there's no fight left in your battle

and lack of reason is your peace

those eyes recede into darkness

behind bangs of bluest blackness

only isolation defeats the sadness

and you slide into silence.



Sam@032817

Crazy to think.
That our love rose higher
Than the mountains we climb
Than the scorpions in our selves
That crawl out of the sands of time,
Than the daemons of doubt
Dredged out of the edges of our mind,
Than the mentality of mortality
That dooms every ending of our kind.
It's just crazy to think.
The words of an idea
May be all that survive.

Sam@031917

I saw myself in her,
I thought I knew her,
but then her actions were confusing,
until I realized she was me,
but at barely thirty,
that's how I would have been.
more sure and distracted
by expectations and planning,
everything I now long to shed
back then I longed to build.
possessions and collections
became the anchors, but then the chains.
they keep me from leaving,
... that keep me from living.
in a moment free of a past
not tied to a future,
in a second that turns to weeks,
that prolonged timeless moment.
for the non-evasive so elusive.
she's still the closest thing to me
but in her supposed prime,
drifting constantly,
with a different sense of time,
so her actions keep confusing me,
me, not who I used to be.

he gave her roses
in shiny colors of red and pink,
they didn't bloom
they looked good till they withered.
gifted her promises of a tomorrow
that could never be opened.
displayed on a shelf, they dried.
a never lasting nothingness
the emptiness of anticipations
unrealized by life's design.
if anybody was in love
it was clear they hadn't lived long enough,
or they had lied.
young love always dies.
dead like the roses.

the king's heart sliced by a knife
the queen's dreams torn at the seams
waking a widow who wanders the halls
painting in black with skulls and thorns
in strokes of a thousand tears on walls
devotion that aches of poetry in songs

the swallows circle the tower's nests
as a river's rage deadens into streams
of sorrow swirling under spanning arches
the bridge of grief holding the beams
  a fortified prison of pain,
the chapel for a lasting memory
    to a phantom soul
its dark spires piercing the grayest clouds
like the knife that created the hole

words echoing within aimless chambers
"ma mie, priez Dieu pour moi, et ne bougez de la"
in perpetual mass, pious devotion in prayers
  ne bougez de la, ne bougez pas ...
ghostly queen and saintly sane
    Louise de Lorraine