To say I miss you would not be enough.
The way you laugh
The way you smile
The way you smell
The way you taste
It is still so present to me my heart aches for you
Every inch of your being
Even though I have seen the worst of you
And I have been at the receiving end of that dark side
I love you with everything in my soul
Please love me
Please look past the cracks you leave
Past the pain you inflict and the walls you help build

Please love me
The air is sweeter when you're near
And to say I need you is a understatement
The word "need" cannot comprehend the longing I feel for you and everything that you are.

You smiled the first time
when I fell off a ladder;
when I chased dogs and horses
and got trampled on by the latter.

You smiled the second time
when I drank a bottle of dew--
with crickets, grasshoppers
. . .well, to name a few.

You smiled the third time
Oh, your teeth were truly flawless
that I ended up gazing,
and drooling in the process.

And when you smiled the fourth time,
I wished you, too, had an ill bearing--
so you'd mindlessly misplace
that band of vow you were wearing.

Damaged people are dangerous because they know how to survive,
And if you've never been damaged you don't know how it feels to be alive,
See struggle is the sauce that gives success its flavour,
when life kicked you down it was doing you a favour.

Cos it's in your darkest hour, not in prosperity
that you will realise your true ability.
Life dunks you in deep waters not to drown you but to cleanse you.
And that's just the beginning of what it will put you through.
But it's chiselling you down, you won't deflate.
It's not wearing you thin, it's getting you to your fighting weight.
Prosperity makes monsters, adversity makes men.
I believe when you reach the top life will yank you back down again.

You didn't break down, you just had a flat tyre
so get back up and relight that fire.
keep it burning and churning at the pit of your heart
and keep on learning and yearning and never fall apart.

Stare life in the eyes
and say "no matter how many times
my spirit won't break if my drive never dies"
So throw me a burden I won't lose my composure,
It's for this very reason that life gave me shoulders.

Get better not bitter
This weather will wither
I'll turn wounds into wisdom
sadness into spirit
tears to tenacity
I will never quit it

Take a deep breath and concentrate your stare
because a road with no obstacles never took you anywhere.

Take one step, and dance with me
the solid square or circular *****, we flew into,
a twisted and twirled beautiful night of romance.
I hand you a twisted red velvet pedaled pool of symbolism
you take my rose and return to me my criticism.
And cynicism. My mission: critical.

to every thought you whispered, and secretly hoped I'd hear.
To all the fear, and folds of insecurity to which you adhere.
To the ripping of the soul, when you get attached again, and pull away like a bandaid
to the sadder days on Saturday I feared I'd never endure; and never quite did.
to the she who so violently wraps me to her will, whenever she feels the need to want me again, but not really.
To the taste of sour beer, I forced myself to drink until her name drifted away.
to the goodbye stamped day when she packaged and shipped herself as far as she could get from me.

I say farewell.
I will not let what my heart wants be the leash by which she binds me.
I will not let her tie and untie me, use me and toss me aside.
I will learn to be outside myself, and outside my insignificant struggle.
I will live amongst the world and dwell in love of mud covered creatures too ***** for you to play with.
I will learn to stop saying I, because it is the least imporant word in my vocabulary.
I will be presented with the apple of the world, and wont feel guilty for taking a taste;
I hold it not a sin, due to my blatant loss of faith.
I will stop using future tense, because things only happen in the present.
And i will pray, metaphorically, that the last present she gives to me is her absence.

Therefore, my mission is to say farewell, to her and all she brings.
she attacked me with her smile, and that was the day she ruined me.

farewell to my misguided little dream,
I'll see you in hell, and oh yeah,
happy 19th birthday to me.