Mary, Mother of God--
Born without Sin
Conceived without Man

Gaia, Mother of All
Titans, Gods, the Land of Men--
She gives and takes away

Lady of the Lake
Guardian of King Arthur's Might--
Excalibur

Taylor Alison Swift--
undeniably gained Fame
through Boys' Misfortune

To eat or not to eat that is the question?

Seems like the journey to the answer is the source of my depression.

Obsession.

Stressed out.

No doubt.

This is hell.

Touch the bones 
As we speak in playful tones about my ill pains

Seems as if everyday I struggle with the same thing
.
This disorder has me in chains 

Doing strange things for minor relief

Crazy how fourteen years of grief

Yet I still count the calories of air

Combing out hair 

The stress causes the remains of my life to break into pieces 

Slices of happiness never lasts seems as
I’m bathing in my own blood bath

The challenge is to finish last 

Slow down the binge 

Eat normal like your friends 

Repeat.

Think I can break habit just because it’s the right thing to do?

You think I enjoy this relationship with food?

I’d divorce my past and marry your future if it meant I’d be okay 

But I remain in this mess
I began when they told I’d be fat again.

Tell a friend 
I let weight meet me again.

Feels like a sin to some how feel joy.

**** the dreams of this skinny beast.

Hug the cookies and drink the wine 

This is the cry of a disordered mind. 

Welcome to my inner thoughts

My illness greets you.

Leave your sanity at the door for you wont need that silly thing anymore.

Now eat until you can’t move then starve yourself times two. 

Make the grades because if you’re intelligent then they remain away 

Telling you how much they wish their body looked like mine 

Silly envy I here all the time 
I wonder if they knew my fears 

Would they escape?

But much like me, 
Once you figure things out it’s much too late.

The lonely little girl in me
Wants to hug the scared little boy in you
Until you stop being scared and I stop being lonely.

But this is a grocery store.
And you are a stranger buying cauliflower.

We just crossed state lines
According to the highway signs
With the sun rising at our backs
We're covering up our tracks
Cutting off the loose ends
Leaving all our old "friends"
You've got this look on your face
Like you've just won the big race
You put your foot flat on the ground
And the engine makes a roaring sound
Were racing down the interstate
Trying to out run our fate
Your laugh has undertones of insanity
Or maybe that's just your vanity
As your eyes glow in the misty morning air
I try and figure out whats going on in there
But you're an impossible equation
Skilled in misdirection and evasion
A problem I have no hope of solving
Because you are constantly evolving
You grab a bottle of wine from the back seat
You open it one handed, no easy feat
You take a fantastically long drink
You pass it to me and give me a wink
And we drive off to face the day
Some people might call us crazy, but I prefer it this way.

I saw madness in his hands
shaped like a path straight to me
straight thru me
I pretended
I was shy
He thought he knew me

Fingers stained
primary colors
                               he'd told this story before
and bold strokes,
he painted his home

Across my skin
a wilderness
awakened
while my eyes
closed                  to heat with no sun
He whispered
thru the trees
Once Upon A Time
causing the leaves to rustle
and shake
making me
lose direction         I was lost
forget I was
civilized

Sense[s] turned savage
I moved against him
stealing his story
with friction
and cannibal drums
Quick breath
                        words without manners
devouring his pallet
till the colors ran together
wet and
undistinguished
He became lightening then
heavy pulses of
electric and heat
swallowed
I was thunder

Ran out of matches,
could you spare me your light?