In the sunshine, with the bright sky, everything feels alright.

When you’re thriving, not just surviving, i’m just existing in a world of black and white.

where’s the color? I lost the bright lights, i’m following the echoes of a voice that sounds like home,

and i can hear it, bouncing off the walls here, i am searching for the sound to follow to get back to my soul.

-I don’t remember, i don’t recall, what it’s like to feel anything at all. I don’t recognize this force that i’ve become. I’m not afraid, I’m not defeated, i’m not ready to run, all i can feel is numb.

—Starry night filled skies, my eyes shining in the moonlight, everything seems quite alright.

when you’re full of passion and mystery, not just existing, in an empty life.

where’s the fire, where’s the madness? Wheres the fury, strength and passion?

where tomorrow is irrelevant and yesterday’s distant, and i only care about right here right now.

—-who tore my wings out from my back, who put the fire out? Who closed my eyes, and left me reaching with my arms out? Who stole the stars out of my sky, and cut my neck to bleed my dry, of all the hope, all the life, all the courage i had dreaming in my mind, oh what’s it gonna take for me to pull out of this grave? Oh what’s it gonna take form me to rise above this pain? I know it was the hopelesness inside, that took the reins from my sweaty hands, and led me to this place, it led me to face myself every day

There a fire under my seat

forcing me on my feet

it’s begging for me to keep moving now

.and it’s chasing me

i’m running aimlessly

into the distantce it follows me now.

—and when i start to give up i ignite, like infinite rays of radiant, glowing sun shine. & i’m gleaming with strength, determination swimming through my veins, as i’m blooming in the bright lights.

—When i doubted myself i was scared

for this journey i felt so unprepared.

and now i’ve got my guns, and they’re dusted off, ready for the war.

and if i hurt, if i bleed

if i start to become weak

i can coax out the life that resides in my core.

I can’t figure you out.

You take the puzzles pieces from my hands and then you make them fit somehow

and you can re arrange my life and still make it work

the way you decorate my heart with your pretty thoughts you put into words

like a poet, you write our story like a song

you steer me in directions, and you never steer me wrong,

just when i thought the ground had fallen away from my feet

you show me that nothing in this life constitutes as defeat

—and i keep fighting, with these fists like iron now,

only because you kept me grounded, you showed me how

how to love with everything but never forget that nothing is ever what it appears to be, you took the blindfolds off of me, and let me see.

—You showed me there is no such thing as honesty.

you take the stories you are given and believe what you want to believe.

nobody’s perfect, but that includes your very own soul.

and the mistakes your fathers make will soon be your own.

—you can’t cure all the wrong that rains on this world

you reminded me just to keep going,

you’re a train going along, for miles and then back,

and sometimes we fall away from the tracks

but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back

One foot, in front of the other

trudging along through the rain, the wind and thunder

I try. All i can say is that I try. I try my best but

sometimes im weak though i like to put on this front that I’m strong

and people don’t read too far into me, they think i’ve got it going on

so tell me why do i feel so hollow like i’ve been carved out of my own skull?

A pill i just can’t swallow, i cant do this on my own.

—I’ve got a dependence, I need a vice. I need something destructive in my life. i need someone that has to hurt me at some point. I need to suffer just to reach a turning point. I’m headed for the storm, i’m ready for it to take me in, in this sailboat i’m travelin in.

It never ends

and we could never be friends

we know that ship has sailed

but our connection never prevailed

and i can’t use these eyes

to give anyone else a glance

cause you have me in this trance

all i see are fireworks and i just want to dance

—dance on all the rooftops, dance on all the streets

take me to a mountain, i wanna see the tops of the trees

you’ve got me higher in the sky than i have ever been before

and you can hide away but my hope is a light to bright i can’t hide anymore.

—let this begin.

let s take it in,

don’t mess with fate, don’t derail destiny you can’t rewrite what’s already been put down in ink

this wasn’t just a sketch, i know god put us to the test, but we know just what he intends on happening.

—I would step back from everything i’ve been chasing all my life,

i would make a different turn i don’t care if it’s wrong or right

if i had just some sparkle of hope that you’d be with me by my side,

cause nothing seems scary, nothing intimidates me when you’re here, but you are the king of disappearing.

-i can’t give up, you’re in my blood, you’re in my heart and soul.

I can’t give up, you’re in my blood, i have no self control.

Sleeping through the days like an endless dream
Falling into an Eternity
swimming through waters to deep for me,
not sure if i can keep on breathing.
Hesitant to make any sudden moves.
Petrified to fall back into love with you.
Sifting through lies to find some ounce of truth
But theres nothing real left to find.

I feel safest when I hide
my sanctuary inside
there's room to breathe because it's only me myself and I.
When i surround myself with company
There's too many things to over think.
Too many emotions at war with each other inside my mind

Can you hear my desperate cries and screams
Can you hear me ripping at my seams
I've lost my grip on reality, and what is a figment of my mind
I can't figure out the actuality of the life i have designed

Around the carousel again.
The pieces i can never mend.
The infinite roller coaster ride.
The emptiness i can't replace,
the void i'm far too scared to face.
the battle i will fight until the end of *time

i went out on a limb.
i grabbed onto nothing,
and i dove right in.
it took me so long,
yeah it felt like a lifetime.
now there's no more wondering
but there sure aint no sunshine.


-and i want to scream and watch my lungs fall from my mouth.
i want to puke my guts out.
i want to cry and watch a river grow.
i want to keep on pushing, but i've gotta let go.

i took this stupid chance.
i barely remember why i did.
climbing all these mountains
just to fall back down unsafely.
now what do i do from here?
where do i go?
how is anyone supposed to really know

i want to love you but i'm not sure i'm allowed to. i want to fall asleep and stay in an eternal dream state of mind. i wish that i could turn back clocks so i could just continue and continue to rewind.