Sleeping through the days like an endless dream
Falling into an Eternity
swimming through waters to deep for me,
not sure if i can keep on breathing.
Hesitant to make any sudden moves.
Petrified to fall back into love with you.
Sifting through lies to find some ounce of truth
But theres nothing real left to find.

I feel safest when I hide
my sanctuary inside
there's room to breathe because it's only me myself and I.
When i surround myself with company
There's too many things to over think.
Too many emotions at war with each other inside my mind

Can you hear my desperate cries and screams
Can you hear me ripping at my seams
I've lost my grip on reality, and what is a figment of my mind
I can't figure out the actuality of the life i have designed

Around the carousel again.
The pieces i can never mend.
The infinite roller coaster ride.
The emptiness i can't replace,
the void i'm far too scared to face.
the battle i will fight until the end of *time

i went out on a limb.
i grabbed onto nothing,
and i dove right in.
it took me so long,
yeah it felt like a lifetime.
now there's no more wondering
but there sure aint no sunshine.


-and i want to scream and watch my lungs fall from my mouth.
i want to puke my guts out.
i want to cry and watch a river grow.
i want to keep on pushing, but i've gotta let go.

i took this stupid chance.
i barely remember why i did.
climbing all these mountains
just to fall back down unsafely.
now what do i do from here?
where do i go?
how is anyone supposed to really know

i want to love you but i'm not sure i'm allowed to. i want to fall asleep and stay in an eternal dream state of mind. i wish that i could turn back clocks so i could just continue and continue to rewind.

i could explode form the inside.
every time you let me down.
I could feel o top of the world but
you can bring me underground.
and i don't want to love you like this.
why is a happy love so hard to find?
i need to discover something i can hold on to,
because id rather feel empty that hurt this much inside.

what do i do now? with tears splashing from my eyes.
where do i go from here? because the end of the road is within my sight.
and i know i can't go any further without losing myself along the way.
i cant seem to recover.

i sometimes forget how i love you.
only because time has put it in the back of my mind.
it's not that i don't think of you.
it's just that when i do, it's hurt a little less each time.
and then you go ahead and talk to me.
your words hitting me like bullets, they do.
And it all comes flowing right back to me.
and i remember how much i love you.

i am not sure i will ever clean you from my mind for good.
i wish i could just be hypnotized so that i would.
cause if i never knew you, i could live this life of happiness.
but then id forget all the good times. then would i be myself?

believe me darling i know my limitations,
but believe me once more i know how to break them,
crossing lines is a habit that's become so routine.
for a while all i did was try to behave,
standing behind lines i didn't know how to break.
i'm not hiding in the darkest corner this time.

i know now...

i cant live my life between the lines, i've got to walk on the outside,
or no one will ever watch me shine. & i can't live my life between the lines, i've got to trust myself to fly.
or no ones gonna see me shine.

believe me honey i know i've grown outside my skin.
this skin that i've felt so uncomfortable in.
and i like this.
believe me darling i know i'm not the same.
but i'm myself, and that's the change, i was reaching for the whole time.

What has happened to my sweet, sweet paradise?
i've been hitting walls left and right.
i feel like a mouse in a maze.
everyones eyes are glued to me.
and i can hear the sound of their words bouncing off the walls in my sanctuary.

i'm screaming, screaming, and none of you can hear me. take a moment and listen because i'm desperate for attention. I'm screaming, screaming, and ly lungs are finally giving out tonight. did you want to watch me see everything caving in on me?

how did i end up the sacrifice?
i never thought theyd pick me. i never thought itd be me.
i never thought id miss something i hated.
something that drove me to insanity and chased me out with frustration.

so let me out of here. i need to change this

this is not my cup of tea.
the way you are fluctuating,
one second youre here, then you're so good at being gone.

this is not where i was supposed to be.
i know we all break rules, but this wasn't in the cards for me.
one moment it's clear, and then you're so unpredictable and i can't see.

you should know that i'm not one for games.
i speak the words that i have got to say.

i don't want to watch you run anymore. just when i think you're finally here, you find a reason to scurry out the door. and it hurts every time i hear your footsteps getting quieter. you are the king of let downs.

this is not what i had hoped for.
this is not what we decided.
we connected. we had grown into eachother, on our common grounds,
so how come now we have divided?

you should know that i'm not one for tears.
i'm stronger than these fragile eyes appear. because i have to be.

when you book it out of here so fast, i can feel the lingering draft. it's like you never left at all. and i promise myself that i have rid myself of ever knowing and loving you this time. but i always change my easily swayed mind.